Definitions by the comand'r

two new ears

What a very talkative person is always in search of, e.g. someone who has not yet tuned them out.

At the party Tyler was droning on about politics that no on really cared to hear about as we had been with him all day and the guy did not stop talking. Four girls suddenly showed up the party and Tyler latched onto one of them as a new victim - two new ears.

two new ears by the comand'r February 24, 2019

ledershants 

Lederhosen on a really short dude. Shorts/pants = Shants. Lederhosen/shants = Ledershants.

Herbie is so short, that when he went to Oktoberfest and wore his Lederhosen, they came off as Ledershants.

ledershants by the comand'r September 20, 2018

shit gravy 

diarrhea

Paige went to Cabo last weekend and had a blast, no pun intended. Loved the food, but ended up making shit gravy because if it.

shit gravy by the comand'r September 20, 2018

taking a taser to a bomb site 

Similar to taking a knife to a gun fight, but typically executed by a totally paranoid, uninformed idiot. Frankly, anyone with a brain would not take a knife to a gun fight; they just would not go to a gunfight.

Woody: where’s Herb?
Spencer: he got detained at security

Woody: detained at a Chargers game? Was he busted for smuggling booze?
Spencer: no, my dad is concerned about terrorists blowing up big crowds, so he always packs a taser that he bought off QVC
Woody: ah, taking a taser to a bomb site. What an idiot.

taking a taser to a bomb site by the comand'r February 23, 2018

grandmapedia 

Similar to wikipedia, though not anywhere near as factual. Grandmapedia is knowledge that is not available on the internet, as Grandma is not connected to the Internet and generates her own facts and content.

Grandma: The Rolling Stones band is very well educated. You know Mick Jagger has two PhDs.
Daughter: No, mom. I don't think that is accurate.
Grandma: Yes it is. The whole band is highly educated
Grand daughter: I find that hard to believe.
Grandma: Keith Richards also graduated with some great degrees.
Son: I believe that this is factual according to grandmapedia, though may not be available on wikipedia.

grandmapedia by the comand'r February 2, 2018

plowed and loud 

When someone is hammered thereby driving their voice up significantly.

I love the Gru, but he's noisy enough when he's sober, but when he drinks he is plowed and loud

plowed and loud by the comand'r October 26, 2017

rip syncing 

Similar to, but different from, lip syncing as rip syncing is the act of actually singing words, typically at the top of one's lungs when very drunk and having little care for the actual lyrics.

Jim was hammered last night and got rip syncing with Jill the entire Boston album. Between the two of them, they knew about 40% of the lyrics and 100% of the choruses, which the yelled very loudly.

rip syncing by the comand'r October 26, 2017