telephony's definitions

Metrosexual

A man who has a sexual attraction to city buses; esp. in Seattle where the transit system is called Metro and the buses are all labelled Metro on their fronts.

{Juan}: Hey Larry! Did you know that John is a Metrosexual?
{Larry}: Yes I did Juan; I've known that for years if not decades now. He's a real fucking bus freak.

by Telephony June 12, 2018

voluntary loss of stool

When you have to leave a shit (I know, it's supposed to be take a shit, but in the immortal words of the late great comedian George Carlin, you don't take a shit, you leave a shit!), you tell whomever is nearby that you need to go and experience voluntary loss of stool.
This is the most gentle, curse-free way to say that you need to go and pinch a loaf.

{Paul}: Hold on a few minutes there George, I need to run and have voluntary loss of stool!
{George}: Ok, whatever Paul. :-/

by Telephony December 30, 2014

Twenty Stick-Bent-Stick

The year 2015 (written or typed) as seen from above looks like bent sticks.

{As a daily check-in on a BBS about wheelchairs might look)}:

01-02-15 {or "2015 02 Jan.", or even "January 02, Twenty Stick-Bent-Stick" if you prefer}
Just making my daily check-in from Juneau AK. USA...my people (who live in Nicaragua) we have but two bungholes...er...uh...I mean I only have a sodding pair of updates for my website today"...the first concerns my having added a flight video of my Syma Armor F1 Single-Rotor R/C Helicopter (with Li:Poly battery) to a web page made for just that purpose, and the second is...well, what else could it be? An adulterated bag of dry cat food? YAAAAYYY YOU GOT ONE CORRECT!!!

by Telephony December 4, 2014

I Changed the Garbage

A little jingle sung to the tune of, "I Shot the Sheriff" that I made up back in 2006 or 2007.

♫ I changed the garbage, ♫
♫ And I took out the re-cy-cl-ing! ♫
♫ I changed the garbage, ♫
♫ And I took out the re-cy-cl-ing! ♫

by Telephony September 4, 2015

drone

A UAV (Unmanned Aerial Vehicle); usually with four counterrotating props and frequently sporting a camera for taking aerial photographs and shooting aerial video.

A quadcopter that you can purchase in a store or online is often frequently referred to as a drone even if it requires constant manipulation by a ground-based pilot; a true drone can be completely autonomous and require no intervention by the pilot.

I flew my drone under the Juneau-Douglas bridge but it lost signal and went blub blub blub all the way to the bottom of Gastineau Channel with all of the bowling balls that were lobbed over the side of that bridge in the 1950s and 1960s.

by Telephony January 9, 2021

the little bus

One of those stubby school buses, usually ridden by children with physical and/or mental disabilities and those pupils who have discipline issues and other problems where they are kept away from the "normal" students.
Please see retard bus.

Jimmy has to ride the little bus because he's a retard.

by Telephony June 14, 2015

satandamned

This word means the same as, "goddamned" but a different deity is referenced.

{From a website about phoney-bologna fake 'battles' between various commercial spokespeople, spokesanimals, and spokesthings}: "That goddamn faggoty-ass talking Taco Bell dog goes to the drive through window and relieves the till of a roll of quarters. It takes aim at that satandamned Kia Rapping Rat, and let's 'er rip! The roll of quarters misses it's intended target and explodes rather noisily against the manager's door."

by Telephony August 25, 2014