teddeadman's definitions

Strategic Incompetence

Purposely performing a task so poorly as to discourage being assigned this task again, but not poorly enough to be fired

Cube Dweller1: Dude, writing the weekly report is a sucky job; how do I get out of it?

Cube Dweller2: Just screw up some people's names and swap some people's tasks, nobody will want you to do it again

Cube Dweller1: Ahh....Strategic Incompetence....a fine idea....my inner slacker is jumping for joy!

by TedDeadMan September 4, 2009

Eat Your Face Off

Verb: to eat huge quantities of delicious food for the pure joy of eating

Commonly used by dieters and college students

Dieter 1: Hey, where are you going to take a vacation to this year?

Dieter 2: Thinkin bout a cruise

Dieter 1: Dude! You could so Eat Your Face Off at the sick buffets

Dieter 2: Rock on!

by TedDeadMan January 22, 2010

MeToo Product

A product that is much like another so as to be indistinguishable as far as value, features...etc.

A product lacking special features or abilities above its competitors. Usually mass produced crap from the usual sources of unimaginative designers and manufacturers.

Stop looking at all those MeToo Product knives and check out this kickin Leatherman Multitool; never know when you will need to pick your teeth, saw a log and fend off a bear all at the same time!

by TedDeadMan January 25, 2011

Reaquiring My Life Goals

Recession speak for "I've been out of work for some time and am bumming around looking for the end of the rainbow while pretending to be cool and in-charge so as not to bruise my fragile over inflated ego"

Office Drone: "Hey bud, how's it going with you?"
Former Coworker: " Aw, it's All Good, I'm just kickin it Reaquiring My Life Goals, finding a path"
Office Drone: "Oh, I see.....you're trying out "Bum" as a lifestyle for awhile then?"
Former Coworker: "Yeah....you got a quarter I could borrow?"

by TedDeadMan September 2, 2010

Bedrobe

Use of bed to store clothes or other sundry items

Commonly found in teenager's rooms

Mom: " Johnny, I thought I told you to clean your room"
Johnny: "Mom, I put all my clothes in the bedrobe, it's clean"

by TedDeadMan September 8, 2010

Conglomomeal

A meal consisting of a wide variety of foods that don't normally go together

Often created from a week or more of leftovers

Hubby: "Hon, what are we havin for din-din?"
Wifey: "Chicken nuggets, kung pao, hot dogs, flafel, carrots, hard boiled eggs and some pretzels"
Hubby: "Ah, Conglomomeal, the breakfast of champions"

by TedDeadMan September 15, 2010

Nerd Tax

The premium paid for having the newest and most powerful computers and electronics

Dude: Nice computer, pretty tricked out
Nerd: Yeah, its got a 6x core overlclocked water cooled processer with 4 GPUs and a solid state drive. Gets me 3 more frames per second !
Dude: Whoa, how much that set you back
Nerd: Bout $7k
Dude: Dude...that is some serious Nerd Tax

by TedDeadMan July 5, 2010