sir bartholomew mctavish's definitions

crosstitute

A ho that hasn't recieved her dough

Look at that famous TV hooker Oprah always going on about how poor people are cool when she has billions of bucks tucked away herself. I bet if she didn't get paid she be a mean crosstitute.

by Sir Bartholomew McTavish June 21, 2008

dreast

A breast that's dressed.

ie: A boob still in its Bouncy Rigid Alembic (B.R.A.)

A 'dreast' can be spotted in the first thirty seconds of any adult man-milk producing video production.

by Sir Bartholomew McTavish August 20, 2009

crackmail

crackmail is what it is called when a woman, uses her crack to shut a moaning husband, boyfriend up when he finds out something she didn't want known.

Steve: So, what happened when you confronted your missus about doing that hardcore porno behind your back, when she was supposed to be going to see her ill Mother?
Dave: I got crackmailed by the Bitch.

by Sir Bartholomew McTavish October 22, 2008

captain jirk

Any person, male or female, in a film, book, game, stageplay etc that is acting in a pretentious, less than eroic manner, who ruins completely an otherwise good story.

Examples of a captain jirk are...

David from Shaun of the Dead
The Dolmen from Star Trek TOS Episode 'Elaan of Troyus'
Cypher from The Matrix
The Dursley's from Harry Potter series of books and films
Caligula from real life history and the film 'The Robe'
Brad from Superman 3
Belloq from Raiders of the Lost Ark

Etc.

by Sir Bartholomew McTavish August 23, 2009

wiidiot

Someone who,no matter how good they are at Resident Evil 4 or Super Paper Mario, looks like a complete idiot to other people watching them play.A Wiidiot is someone who spends about £60 a week on games and 10 hours a day prancing around infront of the TV shooting or blowing things up and looking like a retard.

Son:Mum, where's Dad? I haven't seen him for hours.

Mother: Oh, he's upstairs on your Wii again looking like a total Wiidiot.

Son: Oh. He's a knob, isn't he?

Mother:Yes.

by Sir Bartholomew McTavish November 28, 2007

norktastic

simply congregruity between the word norkand the abbreviated word fantastic.
Meaning 'tits that are fantastic'.

1."Say Chesne, check out the rack on that munter, ok she looks like a Scottish Mastiff having a heart attack in a barrel of kippers, but the juggs sure are norktastic"

2.Lindsay NoHands

3.A drunken moment when your watching Jumpin Jack Flash when Whoopie's skirt is getting shredded and you almost hope those nuggs of her flop out.

by Sir Bartholomew McTavish July 11, 2007

mingsane

The exact word to describe the level of non sanity of Ming the Merciless from the Flash Gordon universe.

Why any hero would be named after an all purpose cleaner is beyond me.

After Ming was impaled on Flash's ship in the 1980s movie of the same name, as Flash.

Dale: You just impaled him with that spaceship!

Flash: Yeah, I know. I kick ass don't I?

Dale: That Ming was mad.

Flash: Yeah, you could say he was 'Mingsane'

Dale: Oh Flash, you're so funny.

Flash: I know. Shall we make out and laugh at Brian Blessed's pants?

Dale: Oh yes please, then I'd like to recieve your seed, on top of that spiky spinning platform thing where that dude's eyes popped out.

Flash: Yeah. I'm great aren't I? I play football.

by Sir Bartholomew McTavish February 17, 2009