scodder's definitions

dog fluffer

A dog fluffer is someone who prepares male dogs for breeding by manual stimulation.

Carlo: Why do you smell like dog spooge?

Fredo: I got a job as a dog fluffer. I'm so ashamed.

Carlo: There, there...

by scodder November 5, 2012

bear your kittens

If you're in a cozy friendship with somebody and want to take it to the next level, tell them "I want to bear your kittens!"

If they start building a nest in the sock drawer, it's a really good sign.

When Madge told Mike, "I want to bear your kittens!" she was ecstatic when he brought her a dead mouse and started nosing around in the sock drawer to build a nest.

by scodder May 6, 2010

sevenskin

A foreskin so long you can fill it with air and make balloon animals.

Fred's sevenskin was so long he had to tuck it into the top of his sock so he could walk without tripping over it.

by scodder April 7, 2010

rejaculation

Rejaculation is where you want to blow your wad, but can't, so you keep trying until you do.

"If you want to get preggers," said Tyrone to Suzie, "I'm going to have to try for a rejaculation, so keep pumping."

"Unnngha, aaargh!" said Suzie, grinding her muff against his turgid meat pipe.

by scodder July 6, 2010

hamster blumpkin

A hamster blumpkin means blowing a hamster while it's taking a crap.

**

"What's that brown pellet on your chin?" asked Ryan.

"I was giving Hammie a hamster blumpkin," said Sarah.

"Cool," said Ryan, "can I have one too?"

**

by scodder August 8, 2010

homely sexual

A homely sexual is an ugly gay guy.

I had to put a bag over Marco's head when I was banging him," said Neal. "He's such a homely sexual."

by scodder June 28, 2010

monkey job

A monkey job means swinging from a bar and screaming loudly while giving a blowjob.

Very refreshing.

Cindy was much loved around the frat for her ability to give a fantastic monkey job.

by scodder April 29, 2010