Kumite
The Kumite is a mythical, invitation only martial arts tournament with the deadliest fighters in the World, like Jean-Claude Van Damme
Except it's not mythical it's real. It's really real and is very similar to the Mortal Kombat tournament.
It is usually held on a far away mysterious island, so it's a nice getaway. Kind of like one of them all-inclusive vacation packages.
They cover room and food, everything (spa etc...) but they don't cover incidental (alcohol), of course.
It's nice, you get to catch up with old friends, see some really good matches, get a tan. Good times.
It is also a deathmatch but everybody's got to die sometime. You kill one man; you kill a dozen. It's all the same, they can only hang you once.
Whenever you say "Kumite" it is, always, followed by a fighting sound effect.
The Kumite is a mythical, invitation only martial arts tournament with the deadliest fighters in the World, like Jean-Claude Van Damme
Except it's not mythical it's real. It's really real and is very similar to the Mortal Kombat tournament.
It is usually held on a far away mysterious island, so it's a nice getaway. Kind of like one of them all-inclusive vacation packages.
They cover room and food, everything (spa etc...) but they don't cover incidental (alcohol), of course.
It's nice, you get to catch up with old friends, see some really good matches, get a tan. Good times.
It is also a deathmatch but everybody's got to die sometime. You kill one man; you kill a dozen. It's all the same, they can only hang you once.
Whenever you say "Kumite" it is, always, followed by a fighting sound effect.
"You think I knew she was a killer kung-fu wolf bitch?! She didn't say nothing about no Kumitie, Kumitoo, Kumite, Koom, black coon. Now y'all just hush I'm trying to think of what we gonna do"
Kumite (Eyyah!)
Kumite (Eyyah!)
by Rzhhhh September 10, 2013
Computer Dating
It's like pimping but you rarely have to use the phrase "upside your head"
See also:
Online Dating
It's like pimping but you rarely have to use the phrase "upside your head"
See also:
Online Dating
Computer Dating:
Leela: Bender, this is stupid. Why would anyone come to you for romantic help?
Bender: HEY! DON'T MAKE ME GO UPSIDE YOUR HEAD
Leela: Bender, this is stupid. Why would anyone come to you for romantic help?
Bender: HEY! DON'T MAKE ME GO UPSIDE YOUR HEAD
by rzhhhh June 21, 2011
to Blow stuff up.
An activity, taken up primarily by men, as it is a very manly activity.
Usually includes the use of explosives to demolish small walls and buildings.
If one is feeling surprisingly manly, small animals can be blown up also.
Such an activity can only be made more manly through the addition of firearms, most notably an M203.
To increase the level of manliness to over 100% one should attempt to add in the use of Nuclear weaponry and/or other Thermobaric explosives.
An activity, taken up primarily by men, as it is a very manly activity.
Usually includes the use of explosives to demolish small walls and buildings.
If one is feeling surprisingly manly, small animals can be blown up also.
Such an activity can only be made more manly through the addition of firearms, most notably an M203.
To increase the level of manliness to over 100% one should attempt to add in the use of Nuclear weaponry and/or other Thermobaric explosives.
Man: Dear, me and the boys are going out. I'll return to make sweet sweet love to you in about 13 hours.
Woman: I can't wait that long! Can't I just come with you? I can call some of my girlfriends
Man: Don't be silly woman! We're going to blow stuff up, it's too manly for you and your "girlfriends"
Woman: We can watch!
Man: You don't want to be watching when we blow up a kitten, a diamond or a cooker! hahahahahaha
Man walks off chuckling at his amusing sexist jab.
Woman *to herself*: Fucking men...
Woman: I can't wait that long! Can't I just come with you? I can call some of my girlfriends
Man: Don't be silly woman! We're going to blow stuff up, it's too manly for you and your "girlfriends"
Woman: We can watch!
Man: You don't want to be watching when we blow up a kitten, a diamond or a cooker! hahahahahaha
Man walks off chuckling at his amusing sexist jab.
Woman *to herself*: Fucking men...
by rzhhhh August 25, 2009
Delicious Candy
Candy that is delicious.
Much like delicious cake, you must eat it!
If you see a delicious candy in the hands of someone else,
even if that person were a small child;
you must SEIZE AND CONSUME it.
Candy that is delicious.
Much like delicious cake, you must eat it!
If you see a delicious candy in the hands of someone else,
even if that person were a small child;
you must SEIZE AND CONSUME it.
This is delicious candy
YOU MUST EAT IT
If you saw a delicious candy in the hands of small child
would you SEIZE AND CONSUME it?!
YOU MUST EAT IT
If you saw a delicious candy in the hands of small child
would you SEIZE AND CONSUME it?!
by rzhhhh July 02, 2010
Four Poster Bed
A bed with four vertical columns, one in each corner.
The columns support a tester, which usually holds up a set of curtains, however, in this day and age of double glazing and other insulation methods, the curtains aren't needed.
A four poster bed is very similar to a canopy bed.
Buying a four poster bed for your bedroom is the first step in transforming your room into a Palace of Love.
In which your new four poster will be used primarily for the art of making love, preferably to a gorgeous Indian chick, but that part doesn't matter.
And is dependant on whether you are a male or female reading this, whatever floats your boat.
A bed with four vertical columns, one in each corner.
The columns support a tester, which usually holds up a set of curtains, however, in this day and age of double glazing and other insulation methods, the curtains aren't needed.
A four poster bed is very similar to a canopy bed.
Buying a four poster bed for your bedroom is the first step in transforming your room into a Palace of Love.
In which your new four poster will be used primarily for the art of making love, preferably to a gorgeous Indian chick, but that part doesn't matter.
And is dependant on whether you are a male or female reading this, whatever floats your boat.
C: Within my new Indian girlfriend's Palace of Love was a magnificent four poster bed, lined with the softest most sensual luxurious silks, coloured in a sexy deep red.
D: Sweet Raptor Jesus just the sound of the bed is making me horny...
C: We proceeded to make sweet love on it, she pretty much emptied my balls of all their love juice. After we cuddled and she whispered sweet nothings possibly in Hindi until I fell asleep.
When I woke up I was sticky and naked
D: I think you missed something fun.
D: Sweet Raptor Jesus just the sound of the bed is making me horny...
C: We proceeded to make sweet love on it, she pretty much emptied my balls of all their love juice. After we cuddled and she whispered sweet nothings possibly in Hindi until I fell asleep.
When I woke up I was sticky and naked
D: I think you missed something fun.
by rzhhhh August 26, 2009
Human Female
1.
Linda from Futurama
She is referred to as Human Female by her co-host: Morbo
2.
The Female half of the human species.
Symbol: ♀ Venus - The Goddess of Love
Biologically different from their male counterpart, the human female has XX sex chromosomes, a longer life expectancy, sex organs that facilitate children, breasts and many other things
Additionally they have different social expectations, although such a thing is undergoing thorough refinement in todays society
See also: woman, lady, girl
1.
Linda from Futurama
She is referred to as Human Female by her co-host: Morbo
2.
The Female half of the human species.
Symbol: ♀ Venus - The Goddess of Love
Biologically different from their male counterpart, the human female has XX sex chromosomes, a longer life expectancy, sex organs that facilitate children, breasts and many other things
Additionally they have different social expectations, although such a thing is undergoing thorough refinement in todays society
See also: woman, lady, girl
1.
Morbo: Over to you human female
Linda giggles
2.
Human Male: Nice breasts
Human Female: I have eyes you know...
Morbo: Over to you human female
Linda giggles
2.
Human Male: Nice breasts
Human Female: I have eyes you know...
by rzhhhh April 09, 2011
Nuclear Strike
1. A video game in a series called the "Strike Series".
It started with Desert Strike, created by a man with a PhD in Mechanical Engineering, how ironic...
In Nuclear Strike an ex-CIA operative has stolen a Nuclear Warhead, it is up to you to find him and the Warhead.
This was a Sony Playstation game released in 1997.
2. One step up from Air Strike, and two up from man the harpoons.
Can be considered on the same level as dropping a MOAB or FOAB
In the event that a whale has survived an Air Strike, one may contact the President who acts also as the Commander-in-chief (as of this point it is Obama) and request that he deliver The Football.
If a whale is spotted in the United Kingdom then the Queen or Prime Minister may be contacted.
A Nuclear Strike should vaporize the whale.
If the whale continues to live even after this form of strike, you should get down on your knees and beg God for mercy, while demanding to know why he created such a creature.
You should also pray that it does not try to mount and have sex with you, as you WILL be crushed to death.
1. A video game in a series called the "Strike Series".
It started with Desert Strike, created by a man with a PhD in Mechanical Engineering, how ironic...
In Nuclear Strike an ex-CIA operative has stolen a Nuclear Warhead, it is up to you to find him and the Warhead.
This was a Sony Playstation game released in 1997.
2. One step up from Air Strike, and two up from man the harpoons.
Can be considered on the same level as dropping a MOAB or FOAB
In the event that a whale has survived an Air Strike, one may contact the President who acts also as the Commander-in-chief (as of this point it is Obama) and request that he deliver The Football.
If a whale is spotted in the United Kingdom then the Queen or Prime Minister may be contacted.
A Nuclear Strike should vaporize the whale.
If the whale continues to live even after this form of strike, you should get down on your knees and beg God for mercy, while demanding to know why he created such a creature.
You should also pray that it does not try to mount and have sex with you, as you WILL be crushed to death.
1. Strike Series:
Desert
Jungle
Urban
Soviet
Nuclear
2.
A looking through a pair of binoculars, observing the destruction left by the Air Strike.
A: Sweet Raptor Jesus!
B: What is it?!
A: That whale survived the Air Strike!
B: WHAT?! Our B-2 Spirit carpet bomb failed? Call the President, and may God have mercy on our souls.
A picks up the phone and dials the Presidents number
Automated Message: You've reached the White House.
To congratulate the President on his hard work, press 1.
To congratulate the President on his hard work, press 2.
To congratulate the President on his hard work, press 3.
To request Nuclear Launch Codes, press 4.
For all other enquiries, please hold.
A presses 3, phone rings.
Obama: Hello?
A: Mr. President, we have a slight situation here
Obama: What is the problem, may I ask?
A: We have a whale who survived an Air Strike... We need The Football, pronto
Obama: Dayum nugga! I'll have it sent over immediately, and my God have mercy on our souls.
A: I've heard that before... Thank you Mr. President, you have a nice day now.
hangs up.
the tale of the whale is tbc
Note: Women are not allowed to use Air Strike and Nuclear Strike as seen in definition 2. As they take the form of blow stuff up.
It is also not possible for a woman to "man the harpoons", she must woman the harpoons, and no such thing exists yet.
Desert
Jungle
Urban
Soviet
Nuclear
2.
A looking through a pair of binoculars, observing the destruction left by the Air Strike.
A: Sweet Raptor Jesus!
B: What is it?!
A: That whale survived the Air Strike!
B: WHAT?! Our B-2 Spirit carpet bomb failed? Call the President, and may God have mercy on our souls.
A picks up the phone and dials the Presidents number
Automated Message: You've reached the White House.
To congratulate the President on his hard work, press 1.
To congratulate the President on his hard work, press 2.
To congratulate the President on his hard work, press 3.
To request Nuclear Launch Codes, press 4.
For all other enquiries, please hold.
A presses 3, phone rings.
Obama: Hello?
A: Mr. President, we have a slight situation here
Obama: What is the problem, may I ask?
A: We have a whale who survived an Air Strike... We need The Football, pronto
Obama: Dayum nugga! I'll have it sent over immediately, and my God have mercy on our souls.
A: I've heard that before... Thank you Mr. President, you have a nice day now.
hangs up.
the tale of the whale is tbc
Note: Women are not allowed to use Air Strike and Nuclear Strike as seen in definition 2. As they take the form of blow stuff up.
It is also not possible for a woman to "man the harpoons", she must woman the harpoons, and no such thing exists yet.
by rzhhhh August 25, 2009