Definitions by porkchchoppanzeefin
Bioless
Denise: Hey Sam, why don't you have a bio on your Tinder?
Sam: I prefer going bioless. My bios always sound cheesy.
Sam: I prefer going bioless. My bios always sound cheesy.
Bioless by porkchchoppanzeefin April 10, 2021
Fuck Bestie
Charlie: Hey, how are things with Mazie?
Matthew: Not great. She broke up with me last week because she wants "freedom" and now we're fuck besties.
Matthew: Not great. She broke up with me last week because she wants "freedom" and now we're fuck besties.
Fuck Bestie by porkchchoppanzeefin June 2, 2020
Laissez-faire faveur
When someone offers a favor, but in reality, they want you do the majority of the work.
Translated from French, this is a "let them do it" favor.
Translated from French, this is a "let them do it" favor.
Darius: "The company laid me off, but they are willing to give me a strong recommendation during my job search."
Maddy: "Sounds like a laissez-faire faveur."
Darius: "Why do you say that?"
Maddy: "That happened to me once. It was all cool until the CEO told me to write my own recommendation for them to edit and return to me on company letterhead."
Maddy: "Sounds like a laissez-faire faveur."
Darius: "Why do you say that?"
Maddy: "That happened to me once. It was all cool until the CEO told me to write my own recommendation for them to edit and return to me on company letterhead."
Laissez-faire faveur by porkchchoppanzeefin May 5, 2020
zipper struggle
Example 1:
Nick: "How's the zipper struggle going?"
Matt: "Can't hook anybody on Tinder so it looks like it'll be a long time until I get laid."
Example 2:
Katie: "How are you and Lola doing lately?"
Caleb: "We're in a zipper struggle because I forgot to feed the cat on Monday."
Nick: "How's the zipper struggle going?"
Matt: "Can't hook anybody on Tinder so it looks like it'll be a long time until I get laid."
Example 2:
Katie: "How are you and Lola doing lately?"
Caleb: "We're in a zipper struggle because I forgot to feed the cat on Monday."
zipper struggle by porkchchoppanzeefin May 5, 2020
Voicemailed
Phone: "Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice messaging system."
Me: "Ahh, voicemailed again."
In unison: "At the tone, please record your message. When you are finished recording you may hang up or press 1 for more options. To leave a callback number, press 5. Beep."
Me: "Ahh, voicemailed again."
In unison: "At the tone, please record your message. When you are finished recording you may hang up or press 1 for more options. To leave a callback number, press 5. Beep."
Voicemailed by porkchchoppanzeefin June 22, 2019
birthday unfriend
Lisa: "I've got to wish these 8 people a happy birthday. But if I birthday unfriend, I only have to do 5."
birthday unfriend by porkchchoppanzeefin November 27, 2018
Impediman
A form of manspreading in which one obliviously stands or walks in someone's way. Typically a behavior attributed to white men.
Two white guys are standing at the bottom of the staircase talking. Jen and Alex try to get down the stairs.
Jen: Impedimanning.
Alex: What do we do?
Jen: We just push through and act like its our fault.
The two push through and say sorry. Neither impediman notices.
Jen: Impedimanning.
Alex: What do we do?
Jen: We just push through and act like its our fault.
The two push through and say sorry. Neither impediman notices.
Impediman by porkchchoppanzeefin May 23, 2018