old handle's definitions

football

Football is the best sport in the history of man, not including wizarding sports like Quidditch. For U.S.A users, it's soccer. You kick a ball into a net, and shout and scream for the rest of the match because you scored.

Guy 1: Hey, I scored a goal in football today!
Guy 2: Well, I scored ten goals in my football match!

by old handle July 4, 2014

mama

Mama is a small-child word for Mum or if you're a American user Mom. It is usually the first word that a small child says, along with "Fuck", "Shit", and "Dada".

Child: Mama! Mama!
Mum/mom: What, my little baby?

by old handle July 6, 2014

Auto Incorrect

The worst thing in the history of man. When your iPad, iPhone, or other devices with autocorrect built in changes a word to something that doesn't make sense.

I heard mom got stung by a few bees this morning, is she ok??? Hospital???
She's ok now. No hospital. She had to take the deep penis.
Uhhhhh... What?
I had to inject her with an EPIC PENIS. Oh for Christ's sake, this auto incorrect. Epi Pen

by old handle July 6, 2014

Cat

1. A 4-legged, intelligent animal that would probably kill you if it was a little bigger.

2. a.k.a. Coital Alignment Technique. A sex position that is similar to missionary but the man's chest is at the woman's shoulders.

Guy 1: Me and Freya had sex last night!
Guy 2: Oh my god! What position did you do?
Guy 1: Well, we're both not very experienced so we did the cat!

by old handle August 14, 2014

Vine

A 7-second video. Origin: Vine app.

*makes a vine*

by old handle August 20, 2014

wert

1. A wet fart.
2. Archaic second person singular past of be.
3. Something I randomly typed into Google to see what would come up.

1. "Oh no, I werted!"
2. If thou wert mine, I would be in heaven!
3. "wtf, wert is a word?!"

by old handle August 22, 2014

Demitra

A bully who bends little kid's fingers back and punches them. AKA Demi.

Go away, Demitra!

by old handle January 15, 2015