nicholas d's definitions

what's up now

A rhetorical question used when one is in a difficult predicament and the circumstances suddenly change in his/her favor, such as when the person in trouble pulls out a gat or when his/her posse shows up ready to whoop some ass. Often followed by "bitch" or "punk" to further assert dominance.

Barack Obama: "Now that I've won the Iowa caucus, I have the Democratic nomination in the bag. The New Hampshire primary is going to be a walk in the park."
(Hillary Clinton wins New Hampshire primary)
Hillary Clinton: "Hell yeah! What's up now, bitch???"
(Barack Obama wins the Democratic nomination)
Hillary Clinton (obviously insincerely): "Congratulations, Senator Obama. I am so happy for you. The American people definitely made the right choice."
Barack Obama: "Three words, Senator Clinton: WHAT'S UP NOW?!?!?!"

by Nicholas D February 26, 2009

What do we have for 'em, Johnny?

A sarcastic comment that is used when someone figures out something really obvious. An imitation of a game show host announcing that someone has given the correct answer and has won a prize that his assistant (Johnny) will specify on cue. Often preceded by "Ding ding!"

Boss: "OK everyone, Brenda Smith is going to be out on Thursday so we need someone to volunteer to fill her time slot."
Mike Hawk: "I'm available that day. I can do it."
Boss: "All righty then. I'm going to go ahead and stick Mike Hawk in her slot."
Steve: "That's what she said! Or...um...actually I mean that's what HE said!"
(everyone laughs except Jim)
Jim: "I don't get it..."
(20 seconds go by)
Jim: "Oh haha, now I get it...Mike Hawk sounds like 'my cock!' It's sexual innuendo. That's a good one."
Steve: "DING DING! What do we have for 'em, Johnny?"

by Nicholas D February 20, 2009

shattuck

1) When you tuck your shirt back into your pants after just having shat (taken a shit).
2) One of the main streets in Berkeley, CA.

Buddy: "Isn't it weird how Berkeley named its main street after the act of rearranging your clothing after taking a shit?"
Guy: "Not weird at all. When you walk down the street you're guaranteed to see at least one bum pooping out in the open, so seeing a shattuck is pretty common on Shattuck Ave."

by Nicholas D October 14, 2019

gobbler

1) A male turkey.
2) A woman of loose morals. Short for cockgobbler.

1) "Son, I can't believe you brought that big ol' gobbler home for Thanksgiving dinner. I'm so proud of you."
2) "Son, I can't believe you brought that big ol' gobbler home for Thanksgiving dinner. You're a disgrace to this family...and so is your grandfather, who paid that fat skank $20 for a hummer."

by Nicholas D May 8, 2007

Toob

To masturbate on a Zoom call. Progressive form: Toobin. Past tense: Toob'd.

The New Yorker staff fired Jeffrey Toobin for Toobin on an election simulation Zoom call after he misread the event as an erection stimulation call.

by Nicholas D October 20, 2020

getcha popcorn ready

A phrase coined by Terrell Owens of the Dallas Cowboys which signifies that one is about to put on a show, i.e. a spectacular performance. Refers to the act of getting one's popcorn before watching a movie.

Note posted on Terrell Owens' locker, October 2007:

"Dear Reporters,

Due to the magnitude of this week’s game and high volume of questions for the Original 81 (T.O.) about the other 81 (Randy Moss), I will be taking all questions immediately following Sunday’s game.

Sincerely,
Terrell Owens

P.S. Getcha Popcorn Ready"


Piano teacher: "Timmy, have you been practicing that Beethoven piece for the upcoming recital? This is your chance to show everyone how much your skills have improved over the past few months."
Timmy: "Hell yeah, I've been on that shit like white on rice. I'm fin' to blow all you bitches away. I'm gonna rock that shit better than Ludwig himself. Better getcha popcorn ready! King Kong ain't got shit on me!"

by Nicholas D January 14, 2009

cerione

The rare feat of striking out five times in a baseball game. The term was coined on national TV during the 2008 college world series when Georgia player Matt Cerione accomplished this feat during his team's win over Stanford. Similar to the hat trick (3 strikeouts) and the golden sombrero (4).

Pete really pulled a cerione with the ladies last night at the party. When he got home his shirt was covered in spilled cosmos and his face was red from all the slaps.

Timmy's parents couldn't show their faces in public after their son racked up three ceriones and five golden sombreros over the little league season.

by Nicholas D June 22, 2008