171 definitions by nicholas d
A term describing a very unattractive, usually overweight skank. The person in question usually bears resemblance in size or appearance to a cetacean, ungulate, or similar animal, such as a hippo, orca, beluga, manatee, water buffalo, wildebeest, warthog, rhinoceros, or elephant.
"I necessarily didn't wanna bring home any sort of zoo creatures whatsoever. I mean these broads just probably smelled the food at the house." -Mike "The Situation" on "Jersey Shore"
I followed a smokin' hot girl back to her place from the club after pounding Jager bombs all night. By the morning though, she had magically transformed into some kind of enormous zoo creature. She looked so much like a wildebeest that I wasn't totally sure whether I was in her bedroom or the African savanna. I had no choice but to pull the old beat it and beat it move and be swayze before that disgusting swamp donkey awakened from her slumber.
I followed a smokin' hot girl back to her place from the club after pounding Jager bombs all night. By the morning though, she had magically transformed into some kind of enormous zoo creature. She looked so much like a wildebeest that I wasn't totally sure whether I was in her bedroom or the African savanna. I had no choice but to pull the old beat it and beat it move and be swayze before that disgusting swamp donkey awakened from her slumber.
by nicholas d January 15, 2010
A word that those who might be disparagingly called nigger guys can use to refer to each other, but is extremely offensive if anyone else uses it. Refers to a non-African-American person known for using the N-word, such as Michael Richards, Randy Marsh of "South Park," or Mark Fuhrman from the O.J. trial.
Randy Marsh: "Wassup nigga guy."
Michael Richards: "Not much, nigga guy. Hey, I saw you on 'Wheel of Fortune.' Nobody thought that answer was 'naggers'! Nigga guy please!"
Randy Marsh: "For real my nigga guy."
Actual black guy: "What's up, nigga guys?"
Michael Richards: "Oh no you didn't! You can't say that word! Don't you know that the word 'nigga' legally has to be at least 7 words away from the word 'guy'?"
Actual black guy: "But you just..."
Randy Marsh: "So offensive! Some people are just so ignorant!"
Actual black guy: "You nigga guys - I mean Caucasian gentlemen known for using the N-word - have GOT to be kidding me!"
Michael Richards: "Not much, nigga guy. Hey, I saw you on 'Wheel of Fortune.' Nobody thought that answer was 'naggers'! Nigga guy please!"
Randy Marsh: "For real my nigga guy."
Actual black guy: "What's up, nigga guys?"
Michael Richards: "Oh no you didn't! You can't say that word! Don't you know that the word 'nigga' legally has to be at least 7 words away from the word 'guy'?"
Actual black guy: "But you just..."
Randy Marsh: "So offensive! Some people are just so ignorant!"
Actual black guy: "You nigga guys - I mean Caucasian gentlemen known for using the N-word - have GOT to be kidding me!"
by nicholas d December 16, 2011
An exclamation that means that one believes the previous speaker's statement to be untrue. Synonyms include my ass, bullshit, horse shit, yeah right, get out of here, and "if I do say, my dear chap, I find your previous statement to be rather hard to believe."
Dad: "Young lady, it's 2 in the morning! Where have you been?"
Daughter: "Um, I was just over at Rick's house."
Dad: "My foot! What were you really doing?"
Daughter: "I was at his house for the big keg party. His parents were out of town."
Dad: "My foot!"
Daughter: "So we had a kegstand contest and I won! 53 seconds! Then to celebrate I took 4 or 5 vodka shots."
Dad: "My foot!"
Daughter: "Then I got in the bathroom and the guys lined up outside, and you know how that goes... then the Hell's Angels showed up, then about half of the Pittsburgh Steelers football team... my jaw is so tired."
Dad: "My foot!"
Daughter: "Wow Dad those are some nice new shoes, they would look really good on - "
Dad: "My foot!"
Daughter: "Yeah. Well anyway Steve was nice enough to stay sober and drive me home."
Dad: "Now that I believe, but the rest of your story was BULLSHIT! You were really at the library, weren't you?"
Daughter: "Yes, I was. I was studying for my history test on Monday."
Dad: "I am so disappointed in you! Go to your room!"
Daughter: "Um, I was just over at Rick's house."
Dad: "My foot! What were you really doing?"
Daughter: "I was at his house for the big keg party. His parents were out of town."
Dad: "My foot!"
Daughter: "So we had a kegstand contest and I won! 53 seconds! Then to celebrate I took 4 or 5 vodka shots."
Dad: "My foot!"
Daughter: "Then I got in the bathroom and the guys lined up outside, and you know how that goes... then the Hell's Angels showed up, then about half of the Pittsburgh Steelers football team... my jaw is so tired."
Dad: "My foot!"
Daughter: "Wow Dad those are some nice new shoes, they would look really good on - "
Dad: "My foot!"
Daughter: "Yeah. Well anyway Steve was nice enough to stay sober and drive me home."
Dad: "Now that I believe, but the rest of your story was BULLSHIT! You were really at the library, weren't you?"
Daughter: "Yes, I was. I was studying for my history test on Monday."
Dad: "I am so disappointed in you! Go to your room!"
by nicholas d September 5, 2006
Waiter: "Now for our appetizer special, we've got escargot and haricots verts. For our dinner special, we've got coq au vin and filet mignon. Finally, for our dessert special, we've got creme brulee. First, here's an amuse-bouche from our chef."
Joe: "Sounds great. We'll have all the specials. For our appetizers, we'll get the freedom snails and the freedom beans. For our main courses, we'll get the freedom steak and the freedom...um...cock. And for our dessert, we'll split a bowl of the freedom cream. That freedom bite sure looks delicious!"
Joe: "Sounds great. We'll have all the specials. For our appetizers, we'll get the freedom snails and the freedom beans. For our main courses, we'll get the freedom steak and the freedom...um...cock. And for our dessert, we'll split a bowl of the freedom cream. That freedom bite sure looks delicious!"
by nicholas d December 30, 2010
The Hispanic version of an Uncle Tom; a sellout to his people who likes to suck up to the white oppressors.
"Can you believe that punk Marco Gutierrez with his Latinos for Trump group? What a Tio Tomas!"
"Yeah no kidding. What's next, Blacks for David Duke?"
"Yeah no kidding. What's next, Blacks for David Duke?"
by nicholas d September 5, 2016
Al Gore: "Governor Bush, you are not going to nap this election!"
George W. Bush: "Oh yes I am. Heh heh heh!"
Girl: "I'm going to run to the ladies' room. Watch my purse while I'm gone."
Guy: "OK."
(Girl goes to restroom, someone steals purse)
Girl: "Where's my purse?"
Guy: "Some sketchy-looking dude came by and purse-napped. Sorry."
Girl: "What? I told you to watch it!"
Guy: "I did. I was watching the entire time the guy was napping it! What did you want me to do, stop him?"
Girl: "Yes!!!"
Guy: "Oh, well you should have said that earlier."
George W. Bush: "Oh yes I am. Heh heh heh!"
Girl: "I'm going to run to the ladies' room. Watch my purse while I'm gone."
Guy: "OK."
(Girl goes to restroom, someone steals purse)
Girl: "Where's my purse?"
Guy: "Some sketchy-looking dude came by and purse-napped. Sorry."
Girl: "What? I told you to watch it!"
Guy: "I did. I was watching the entire time the guy was napping it! What did you want me to do, stop him?"
Girl: "Yes!!!"
Guy: "Oh, well you should have said that earlier."
by nicholas d February 27, 2009
The white version of a bitch nigga. Someone who talks a big game and gossips a lot but backs down at the first sign of a fight. If you make it big in the game, they will suck up to you to try to get some of your money. Bitch crackaz are weak and have been known to engage in such mark-ass activities as taking bubble baths and using their bitch's blush to cover up a pistol whip wound.
Connor: "How are you on this fine morning, Madeline?"
Madeline: "Why, rather swell, Connor. I have some rather disturbing news from you, however. I heard from Emily that Blake was verbally disparaging you. He said that your racquetball game was mediocre at best and that you performed rather poorly at last week's poetry reading. Furthermore, he thinks you are a hypocrite since you claim to eat only organic free-range chicken but he saw you go into KFC the other day."
Connor: "Well I never! I shall confront that scoundrel!"
(later)
Connor: "You fool! How dare you sully my good name? We must engage in fisticuffs at once!"
Blake: "Nonsense, my good chap. I did nothing of the sort. Let's bury the hatchet and set up a tee time at the country club for next weekend."
Connor: "Silence! I believe Dr. Dre put it most eloquently: 'So many crackaz like to keep up shit, and just like a bitch, crackaz be talkin' shit. Smilin' in my face and then you blast me in the back, crackaz stay strapped from way back, cuz payback'll make crackaz wanna pop that shit. If you ain't ready for the game, cracka stop that shit'...well, I'm not going to recite it all, but he finishes with, 'If you act like a bitch, then you smacked like a bitch!' That is precisely what will be your fate! Please note that I replaced all instances of the N-word with the C-word since you are white. Indeed, you, sir, are a bitch cracka! Get over here! I'm going to slap you silly!"
Madeline: "Why, rather swell, Connor. I have some rather disturbing news from you, however. I heard from Emily that Blake was verbally disparaging you. He said that your racquetball game was mediocre at best and that you performed rather poorly at last week's poetry reading. Furthermore, he thinks you are a hypocrite since you claim to eat only organic free-range chicken but he saw you go into KFC the other day."
Connor: "Well I never! I shall confront that scoundrel!"
(later)
Connor: "You fool! How dare you sully my good name? We must engage in fisticuffs at once!"
Blake: "Nonsense, my good chap. I did nothing of the sort. Let's bury the hatchet and set up a tee time at the country club for next weekend."
Connor: "Silence! I believe Dr. Dre put it most eloquently: 'So many crackaz like to keep up shit, and just like a bitch, crackaz be talkin' shit. Smilin' in my face and then you blast me in the back, crackaz stay strapped from way back, cuz payback'll make crackaz wanna pop that shit. If you ain't ready for the game, cracka stop that shit'...well, I'm not going to recite it all, but he finishes with, 'If you act like a bitch, then you smacked like a bitch!' That is precisely what will be your fate! Please note that I replaced all instances of the N-word with the C-word since you are white. Indeed, you, sir, are a bitch cracka! Get over here! I'm going to slap you silly!"
by nicholas d November 6, 2009