nicholas d's definitions

what's up now

A rhetorical question used when one is in a difficult predicament and the circumstances suddenly change in his/her favor, such as when the person in trouble pulls out a gat or when his/her posse shows up ready to whoop some ass. Often followed by "bitch" or "punk" to further assert dominance.

Barack Obama: "Now that I've won the Iowa caucus, I have the Democratic nomination in the bag. The New Hampshire primary is going to be a walk in the park."
(Hillary Clinton wins New Hampshire primary)
Hillary Clinton: "Hell yeah! What's up now, bitch???"
(Barack Obama wins the Democratic nomination)
Hillary Clinton (obviously insincerely): "Congratulations, Senator Obama. I am so happy for you. The American people definitely made the right choice."
Barack Obama: "Three words, Senator Clinton: WHAT'S UP NOW?!?!?!"

by Nicholas D February 26, 2009

getcha popcorn ready

A phrase coined by Terrell Owens of the Dallas Cowboys which signifies that one is about to put on a show, i.e. a spectacular performance. Refers to the act of getting one's popcorn before watching a movie.

Note posted on Terrell Owens' locker, October 2007:

"Dear Reporters,

Due to the magnitude of this week’s game and high volume of questions for the Original 81 (T.O.) about the other 81 (Randy Moss), I will be taking all questions immediately following Sunday’s game.

Sincerely,
Terrell Owens

P.S. Getcha Popcorn Ready"


Piano teacher: "Timmy, have you been practicing that Beethoven piece for the upcoming recital? This is your chance to show everyone how much your skills have improved over the past few months."
Timmy: "Hell yeah, I've been on that shit like white on rice. I'm fin' to blow all you bitches away. I'm gonna rock that shit better than Ludwig himself. Better getcha popcorn ready! King Kong ain't got shit on me!"

by Nicholas D January 14, 2009

gobbler

1) A male turkey.
2) A woman of loose morals. Short for cockgobbler.

1) "Son, I can't believe you brought that big ol' gobbler home for Thanksgiving dinner. I'm so proud of you."
2) "Son, I can't believe you brought that big ol' gobbler home for Thanksgiving dinner. You're a disgrace to this family...and so is your grandfather, who paid that fat skank $20 for a hummer."

by Nicholas D May 8, 2007

Toob

To masturbate on a Zoom call. Progressive form: Toobin. Past tense: Toob'd.

The New Yorker staff fired Jeffrey Toobin for Toobin on an election simulation Zoom call after he misread the event as an erection stimulation call.

by Nicholas D October 20, 2020

Σ

1) The Greek letter sigma
2) The summation operator, indicating a series to be summed
3) A synonym for "summer" due to definition (2) above
4) A synonym for "count it" due to definition (2) above, indicating agreement with someone

Guy 1: "Hey man, can't believe tomorrow is June 1st and it's almost Σ. What do you want to do after we finish these Σ exercises for math class? Maybe go to the ΣAE frat party?"
Guy 2: "Nah, let's chill with the broskis and watch '500 Days of Σ' while we drink some White Claw and Aperol spritzers."
Guy 1: "Σ! But it bothers me in that movie how Σ really screwed over JGL, NGL."
Guy 2: "Σ."

by Nicholas D August 8, 2023

naked run

The standard consequence of losing a beirut/beer pong game very badly. The losing team is required to run naked around the outside of the building in which the game is being played. Depending on house rules, a naked run rule may be enforced either when a team loses before making it to their first re-rack (6 cups left) or when a team does not sink a single cup in an entire game. This rule is often not enforced in a game where all players are male because that would be considered "too gay."

Steve: "How'd you guys do in the Sigma Chi beirut tournament?"
John: "Not too great. We lost to 'Wet Balls' in the semifinals."
Steve: "Man, in every tournament there's a team called 'Wet Balls.' So unoriginal."
John: "Word to your mother. But at least we got to see Vicky and Sarah lose a game by 9 cups and do a naked run around the building."
Steve: "Hell yeah! Vicky is pretty hot. I would have loved to see those things bounce around, if you know what I mean."
John: "Yeah it was pretty awesome. Skeet skeet!"

by Nicholas D February 13, 2009

nannarchy

A combination nanny state and anarchy: A government that cracks down on trivial everyday things while letting actual criminals run rampant, failing to prosecute serious crimes. Example: San Francisco 2020 under DA Chesa Boudin.

John was caught breaking into fifty cars, dealing crack to kids, and stabbing a cop. The San Francisco DA let him off with $1 bail for these silly but harmless shenanigans. But then they caught him drinking through a plastic straw rather than a compostable one while celebrating his release, and sentenced him to 20 years in maximum security prison for committing such a serious felony. Just another victim of the nannarchy...

by Nicholas D January 31, 2020