nicholas d's definitions
An unhealthy obsession with the iPhone game Angry Birds. The disease is named as such because "irritable fowl" has a meaning similar to that of "angry bird."
Boss: "Hey Joe, would you mind stepping into my office? I think we need to have a little talk."
Joe: "Sure, what is it?"
Boss: "That was your third half-hour trip to the bathroom today and it's only 1:30. What's going on?"
Joe: "Unfortunately I suffer from Irritable Bowel Syndrome. We had chili for dinner last night, and it really hasn't been sitting well with me today."
Boss: "Hmm...well I asked some of your coworkers about it and they mentioned hearing sounds of chirps and snorts coming from one of the stalls on several occasions. It's Irritable Fowl Syndrome you're really suffering from, isn't it?"
Joe: "All right, I admit it! I can't stop playing Angry Birds!"
Boss: "Well lucky for you, you'll have plenty of time to chase those golden eggs during your unemployment!"
Joe: "Sure, what is it?"
Boss: "That was your third half-hour trip to the bathroom today and it's only 1:30. What's going on?"
Joe: "Unfortunately I suffer from Irritable Bowel Syndrome. We had chili for dinner last night, and it really hasn't been sitting well with me today."
Boss: "Hmm...well I asked some of your coworkers about it and they mentioned hearing sounds of chirps and snorts coming from one of the stalls on several occasions. It's Irritable Fowl Syndrome you're really suffering from, isn't it?"
Joe: "All right, I admit it! I can't stop playing Angry Birds!"
Boss: "Well lucky for you, you'll have plenty of time to chase those golden eggs during your unemployment!"
by Nicholas D December 11, 2010

Someone who is washed up, has gone soft, and no longer commands respect in the hood. From Ice Cube's song "Check Yo Self."
"You're gone, used to be the Don Juan, now your name is just Twan."
-Ice Cube, "Check Yo Self"
Carlos: "Whats up dogg, long time since you been back in the hood."
Tony: "For real. What's going on with J.D. these days? That dude used to run shit around here."
Carlos: "Fool has gone soft. Now he ain't nothin' but a twan. He settled down with some bitch and she's got him whipped. I saw him last week walking her weak-ass chihuahua around the block, cleaning up its shit and shit. Then I saw him with that ho the other day going into the movies to watch 'Confessions of a Shopaholic.'"
Tony: "Man that is some mark-ass shit! We gotta straighten that twan-ass bitch out. Let's ride on that fool."
Carlos: "Word."
-Ice Cube, "Check Yo Self"
Carlos: "Whats up dogg, long time since you been back in the hood."
Tony: "For real. What's going on with J.D. these days? That dude used to run shit around here."
Carlos: "Fool has gone soft. Now he ain't nothin' but a twan. He settled down with some bitch and she's got him whipped. I saw him last week walking her weak-ass chihuahua around the block, cleaning up its shit and shit. Then I saw him with that ho the other day going into the movies to watch 'Confessions of a Shopaholic.'"
Tony: "Man that is some mark-ass shit! We gotta straighten that twan-ass bitch out. Let's ride on that fool."
Carlos: "Word."
by Nicholas D February 18, 2009

Waiter: "Now for our appetizer special, we've got escargot and haricots verts. For our dinner special, we've got coq au vin and filet mignon. Finally, for our dessert special, we've got creme brulee. First, here's an amuse-bouche from our chef."
Joe: "Sounds great. We'll have all the specials. For our appetizers, we'll get the freedom snails and the freedom beans. For our main courses, we'll get the freedom steak and the freedom...um...cock. And for our dessert, we'll split a bowl of the freedom cream. That freedom bite sure looks delicious!"
Joe: "Sounds great. We'll have all the specials. For our appetizers, we'll get the freedom snails and the freedom beans. For our main courses, we'll get the freedom steak and the freedom...um...cock. And for our dessert, we'll split a bowl of the freedom cream. That freedom bite sure looks delicious!"
by Nicholas D December 29, 2009

The New York Jets. New Jersey Jest is a more appropriate name for the team because:
1) They play in the Meadowlands a.k.a. Giants Stadium, which is in East Rutherford, New Jersey. Yes, the Jest is so pitiful that they actually play in a stadium named for another NFL team.
2) The team is a joke - or in other words, a jest.
Also called the New York or New Jersey Puddle Jumpers (since "Jets" is a bit of an overstatement given the team's performance).
1) They play in the Meadowlands a.k.a. Giants Stadium, which is in East Rutherford, New Jersey. Yes, the Jest is so pitiful that they actually play in a stadium named for another NFL team.
2) The team is a joke - or in other words, a jest.
Also called the New York or New Jersey Puddle Jumpers (since "Jets" is a bit of an overstatement given the team's performance).
After Chad Pennington and Kellen Clemens led them to a series of embarrassing losses in 2007, the New Jersey Jest toyed with the idea of bringing back legendary quarterback Joe Namath...at the age of 64.
In Italian, the last name of head coach Eric Mangini is the masculine plural form of "mangina".
In Italian, the last name of head coach Eric Mangini is the masculine plural form of "mangina".
by Nicholas D January 6, 2008

To shamelessly increase diversity, inclusion, and references to modern-day issues in a story to promote social justice. The opposite of whitewash.
Writer: “I’ve got a movie idea! Let’s do the moon landing, except all the astronauts are morbidly obese paraplegic non-binary Muslim Australian aboriginals!”
Director: “Brilliant! This is your best idea since we won that Oscar for ‘D-Dayversity’, the story about the Normandy invasion except with all autistic pansexual transgender Kalahari bushpeople. You can wokewash like nobody I’ve ever seen!”
Director: “Brilliant! This is your best idea since we won that Oscar for ‘D-Dayversity’, the story about the Normandy invasion except with all autistic pansexual transgender Kalahari bushpeople. You can wokewash like nobody I’ve ever seen!”
by Nicholas D March 1, 2020

Zero Interest Rate Phenomenon. In the period of near-zero interest rates that lasted from roughly 2008-2021, cash was cheap and many people - especially large tech companies - were throwing away money on silly things. Those things went away in 2022 and are now known as ZIRPs.
Googler 1: “Arrrgh I can’t fix this bug! Can you call the office fluffer down here to help get my mind off this for a bit?”
Googler 2: “Sorry chief, they got rid of the fluffers in ‘22. Just like the dog spa and the corporate Segways. Those were all ZIRPs, bud. Welcome to the age of austerity.”
Googler 2: “Sorry chief, they got rid of the fluffers in ‘22. Just like the dog spa and the corporate Segways. Those were all ZIRPs, bud. Welcome to the age of austerity.”
by Nicholas D March 24, 2024

A mildly offensive term that refers to a beirut or beer pong shot that misses back and to the left like John F. Kennedy's head did when he was shot (which supports the grassy knoll theory). Typically results from excessive follow-through from a right-handed shooter.
When Steve was starting his shot on the last cup, Tim shouted, "Your mom!" at precisely the right moment. This shocking insult hit too close to home and caused Steve to overdo his throwing motion, unleashing a wicked kennedy arm that sailed back and to the left of the cups.
by Nicholas D January 7, 2012
