12 definitions by monkeymoo ✨

something that most teenagers don’t have. basically the ability to control yourself and not randomly burst out laughing/talking.

also a banger cavetown song.
teacher: “alex, give me an example of a planet
alex: “uranus
karl: “HAHAHHAHAHAHA -dies laughing”
teacher: “have self control, karl”
by monkeymoo ✨ January 31, 2023
the author of harry potter who has probably caused too many trans people to commit seppuku since… idk, the 2010s?

seemed perfectly fine at first, but NOW people are realizing the amount of racism, antisemitism and transphobia/terf-ness in her.

for example, cho chang? she literally came up with the most racist sounding “asian” name ever. in fact, im pretty sure “cho” is a korean/chinese LAST NAME, and “chang” is a chinese LAST NAME as well. she didnt even try here.

OH, AND WHY DOES NO ONE TALK ABOUT KINGSLEY SHACKLEBOLT? like… HIS LAST NAME IS A REFERENCE TO SLAVERY. we know that for a fact… because who actually has the last name “shacklebolt”? funny thing is, hes like, the one prominent black character outside of lavender brown, but no one ACTUALLY likes her.

oh yeah, and in hogwarts legacy (please dont go after anyone who plays it, its their choice kbye) theres a trans mtf character, right? if you didnt know about this, you would say “OH MY GOD!!! TRANSPHOBIA IS SOLVED FOREVER!!!”. thing is… her name is sirona ryan. SIRona RYAN. SIR RYAN. not only that, but MOST PEOPLE IN THE WIZARDING WORLD ARE REFERRED TO BY LAST NAMES. THEYRE CALLING HER A MASCULINE NAME ON PURPOSE. this one COULD be a stretch tho.

theres a lot more, but end of rant.
person 1: “bro I LOVE J.K ROWLING
trans person: “…”
trans person: -slaps- -leaves-
by monkeymoo ✨ February 15, 2023
the day after christmas where everyone is either in a food coma, depressed because they realized there’s a whole 364 days until christmas next year, already bored of half their presents or losing their shit realizing that the next year starts in less than a week.
girl: “its december 26th. -sigh-“
boy: “christmas is in forever from now… i miss all i want for christmas is you already”
girl: -screams- “THERE ARE 6 DAYS UNTIL JANUARY 1ST, 20XX!”
boy: -fucking dies-
by monkeymoo ✨ December 26, 2022
-sigh- so lickgate is an “incident” involving twitch streamers Foolish_Gamers and Punz. so one day, foolish goes live and chat immediately starts questioning him about something that punz said on sapnap’s stream earlier. foolish checks the clip. punz said “i licked foolish’s bicep.” and sapnap responds with “someone had a good time at fucking twitch rivals”. foolish acts like nothing happened whatsoever and eventually punz comes into chat spamming “I PLEAD THE 5TH” (the 5th amendment). foolish responds with “YOURE PLEADING THE 5TH NOW? YOURE PLEADING THE 5TH NOW, WELL YOU CERTAINLY WERENT PLEADING THE 5TH EARLIER!” and yeah thats lickgate
“bro did you know that hannahxxrose has footage of lickgate?”
“according to her”
by monkeymoo ✨ December 26, 2022
depression day for the single people and the aromantic/aroace people. AKA the reason why so many babies are born in november. also the day many schools host dances that arent really dances, but more or less raves. trust me, i mean that.

today (feb 14th, 2023) at school we had our dance and they were BLASTING the music. we SCREAMED along to it. when Last Friday Night played, and we were screaming the “TGIF” part, the dj said “its only tuesday” and i yelled “TUESDAY WOO”. im in 7th grade and an 8th or 9th grader asked me to dance :|. THEY WERE LIFTING PEOPLE INTO THE AIR- at the end, they played CARELESS WHISPER and my toxic ex friend and my old crush were dancing. ALMOST EVERYONE WAS FILMING THEM, AND SOMEONE SHOVED THEM TO TRY AND GET THEM TO KISS, WHICH DIDNT WORK.

all in all, almost average day at a catholic school!
student 1: “the valentine’s day dance is tomorrow”
student 2: “yup, perfectly normal day i hope”


school: -fucking rave-
student 2: “AAAAAAAH”
by monkeymoo ✨ February 15, 2023
shark plushie from ikea (blahaj = blue shark) that is an icon within the trans/LGBTQIA+ community. is very cuddly and fluffy, and he is love and he is life. yes, i am writing this with my blahaj in my arms :D

common nicknames include shonk, haj, smolhaj (for the smaller varient), and probably many more.
me: “my blahaj only arrived on thursday (feb. 2nd) but he is already the greatest thing ever. he has gone on a car ride buckled in, helped me with homework AND eaten ice, chocolate cake and cheesy rice crackers. i do not need anything else. he is best shonk.”
by monkeymoo ✨ February 5, 2023
Icy Wyte and Let’s go brandon, i agree’s definitions/their entire existence
Icy Wyte and Let’s go brandon, i agree have mental retardation”
by monkeymoo ✨ March 5, 2023