vagtable sex

When a women uses vegetables to masterbate, a play on the words vagina and vegtables

Women- how much is that cucumber,
Shop keeper- 70pence love,
Women - great I will take it, its big enough for the vagtable sex I've got planned,
Shop keeper- want another for ur ass, i can do two for a pound.

by mitch00uk March 28, 2015

sick munch

Going down on a pussy only to find out to late that it hasn't been washed from night before

I had a right sick munch this morning, I went down on my girlfriend, she didn't tell me she hadn't cleaned the mingling thing, I threw up on her muff

by mitch00uk April 03, 2015

old knackers yard

A old women's pussy

Simon.. She alright for her age isn't she, she's giving you the eye

Mike... Your joking mate, she must be 60, I am not going up that old knackers yard

by mitch00uk April 02, 2015

pussy scrumping

when one takes pussy without consent. (Also see rape)

Prisoner 1..What are you banged up for?
Prisoner2.. I got caught pussy scrumping, I got 6 years, its my 2nd time for rape
Prisoner 1.. You nasty prick, I'm going ass scrumping tonight, see you then

by mitch00uk April 11, 2015

granny fannying

Seeking out mature women for sexual adventures

Are you coming to the tea dance tonight Jim,

Yep I'm up for some granny fannying

by mitch00uk April 03, 2015

last minute desperation

When it comes close to kicking out time at a club, and you haven't pulled, u go for anything

I tried to pull all last night , but I couldn't till the end, she was a right munter , that's last minute desperation for you

by mitch00uk April 03, 2015

filthy gusset

A very rotting stenching pussy

It was horrible, I've shed a stone since I took her knickers off and saw her filthy gusset, it was every kind of rank possible, i got a S.T.I just looking at it

by mitch00uk March 29, 2015