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miskatonic Jack 2's definitions

Homeowners Association

An omnipresent force in suburbia, or at least in most of it's residential neighborhoods.

A quasi-fascist governing board, often set up by a subdivision's real-estate developer, who strictly enforce such rules and building codes as...

-Grass must be kept watered, golf course green and closely manicured, even during times of drought and water shortages

-No one uses their yard to grow their own food

-No patch of land may be permitted to return to it's natural state

-No rooms or other additions may be permitted above or in front of the existing home

-No potter's shed or tool shed may be allowed anywhere on the property

-No yard ornaments

-No rain barrels

and so on.
The homeowners association says you can't put an addition onto the front of the house. They also said you couldn't add a 2nd level (which would keep any additional property from being paved over.) They said that the only place you could add on was the back (which paradoxically is the only yard anyone ever actually uses.)

To get another idea of what a homeowner's association is like, watch the 1999 episode of the X-Files by the name of "Arcadia."
by Miskatonic Jack 2 January 11, 2011
mugGet the Homeowners Associationmug.

yard ape

A small child, roughly between the ages of 2 and 8 years, who hangs out in a back yard, usually white, usually male and usually suburban.

This was the definition used extinsively in magazine advertisements and television shows, especially comedy, during the 1980's and 90's
"Heavens to burgitroid, what is that detestable little yard ape doing in my movie? He's ruining it!

- Sir Boris von Orloff,

Eerie Indiana

from the episode "America's Scariest Home Video (a.k.a. Scariest Home Videos)"
Air Date
Sunday October 20, 1991
by Miskatonic Jack 2 June 27, 2010
mugGet the yard apemug.

exurban

♦ Where people live who drive an hour to a well paying job.

♦ Where your neighbor's house is 100 ft from your own and both are 50 meters (164.041 feet) from the road.

♦ Where gated communities are built with 2 acre lots and the homeowners association is constantly in fear of non-conformity and people using that land to grow their own food as well as any landscape which is reverting to it's natural state.

♦ Where your neighborhood centers around a golf course and the closest retail is 4 miles (6.43737 km) away

♦ Where your zip code's tallest building rises 2 storeys and the population density never goes beyond 1,000 people per square mile.

♦ Where rich white people go in order to avoid ethnic minorities, same thing with their country clubs.

♦ Where the water table is irreversibly contaminated by all the lawn chemicals the residents use.

♦ Where the treeless lawn surrounding one's ranch house is used for parking, sports, and an area where one's many dogs and children can run wild and wreck havoc.

♦ Areas idealized by people like Frank Lloyd Wright and Joel Garreau (writer of Edge Cities).

♦ Areas reviled by people such as Paolo Soleri and James Howard Kunstler.
Land in exurban areas is used in the most wasteful, unsustainable and impractical ways. It's not at all uncommon for property owners to have a half acre of their spread paved over. I've even heard of aviation enthusiasts
by Miskatonic Jack 2 November 23, 2010
mugGet the exurbanmug.

spread

The land which belongs to someone.
They had a 4 acre spread on the outskirts of "town" and a large gun collection. They were afraid of the government.
by Miskatonic Jack 2 November 23, 2010
mugGet the spreadmug.

Paducah

The largest city in western Kentucky's Jackson Purchase region, and the only significant city in Kentucky who's name is of native american origin. Has alot of character for a town it's size, even having it's own Symphony Orchestra. Paducah once had a light rail system, as all significant cities once did, now has a bus system. The founder of Dr Pepper was from here, and the first factory was in the nearby suburb of Lone Oak (also the hometown of Jeri Ryan).
Paducah has long had a significant jewish community, which was periodically evacuated during the civil War.
Lower Town, which borders downtown to the northeast is Paducah's fine arts district. Once a slummy red light district with crackhouses, meth labs and crime, but thanks to the artist relocation program, artists from as far as NYC, San Fransisco, Hawaii and Paris France have relocated here and have fixed up the dilapidated old mansions which were often sold for less than $10 apiece. This is where the Yeiser Art Center and many galleries are.
Paducah Is finally being reborn, like a phoenix from the ashes.
Did you see the story about Lower Town on the national news the other night?
by Miskatonic Jack 2 December 13, 2008
mugGet the Paducahmug.

Little Saigon

Any neighborhood with a significant Vietnamese presence

e.g. the Southside neighborhood of Louisville KY & the Tenderloin District in San Francisco.

Many are a separate enclave within a larger, pre established Chinatown.
Texas, Northern and Southern California each have multiple cities containing one or more Little Saigon.
by Miskatonic Jack 2 June 30, 2010
mugGet the Little Saigonmug.

builder's special

Whenever a house is built in a subdivision for the momentary gain of the evil developers and "home builders", this is what the landscaping is refered to.
Often in place of a wooded area that contains irreplacable diversity in it's flora and fauna, The builder will select a generic assortment of bushes, trees, and other plants. These will typically include the short lived Bradford Pear, Red Maple, Pin oak (both native to marshy areas), Burning Bush, Japanese Barberry (both considered invasive), various Junipers & arborvites, Korean Boxwood, and whatever other generic plants they have to choose from at places like WAL-MART, Lowes, Home Depot, K Mart and Target.
This is even the case around 2 million dollar McMansions.

This is one of the reasons why suburban sprawl is so damaging and why it disrupts the delicate ecological balance.

The builders special can also be seen around commercial development.
What a waste of land, this was 100 acres of farmland plus another 50 acres that was forested, and now we have a generic sudivision with 2 acre lots, McManions and ranch houses set all the way to the back of their lots. And whatever varity of plants that was found in the wooded portion will be lost forever to be replaced by the builder's special.
by Miskatonic Jack 2 November 6, 2008
mugGet the builder's specialmug.

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