mark h's definitions
1. A phrase used to express that something will or will not happen. This expression alludes to the ages-old superstition that literally knocking on wood would ward off evil spirits.
2. To masturbate, said of males.
2. To masturbate, said of males.
(made-up scene from GTA San Andreas)
(at the beach)
Kent Paul: (ogling a hot girl come out of the water) Oi Maccer, just take a look at what just breezed out of the blue. That height, that arse, those jugs, those curves! Blimey if I'd be given the chance now I'd get to chuck my junk in that, knock on wood!
Maccer: Indeed man! Knock on wood, eh. Well alright then! *starts masturbating*
Kent Paul: No, jack-off Jimmy, not... ohh, *mumbles* fucking Northeners!
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Mark H. Proud Urban Dictionary slang author since February 2004.
(at the beach)
Kent Paul: (ogling a hot girl come out of the water) Oi Maccer, just take a look at what just breezed out of the blue. That height, that arse, those jugs, those curves! Blimey if I'd be given the chance now I'd get to chuck my junk in that, knock on wood!
Maccer: Indeed man! Knock on wood, eh. Well alright then! *starts masturbating*
Kent Paul: No, jack-off Jimmy, not... ohh, *mumbles* fucking Northeners!
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Mark H. Proud Urban Dictionary slang author since February 2004.
by Mark H October 10, 2005
Get the knock on wood mug.Curious George always wondered what the Man in the Yellow Hat has been smoking lately that smelled so good. And so George then sneaked into a weed cabinet which the Man in the Yellow Hat has left unattended, grabbed a few J's and a lighter and then started enjoying himself. He could not stop afterwards. What a grass monkey he now is!
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Mark H. Proud Urban Dictionary author since February 2004.
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Mark H. Proud Urban Dictionary author since February 2004.
by Mark H October 2, 2005
Get the grass monkey mug.1. Someone(usually a female) who is such a complete and total bitch; mean, annoying, whiny, obnoxious, and/or just generally unpleasant to be around you.
2. A VERY large female dog.
2. A VERY large female dog.
Little Fido would never want to sleep in the doghouse with Maggie, our new German Shepheard, since she's a real bitch and a half.
Mark H. Pround provider of new(and some existing) slang vocabulary since February 2004.
Mark H. Pround provider of new(and some existing) slang vocabulary since February 2004.
by Mark H October 1, 2005
Get the bitch and a half mug.A common name that parents would call their kids whom they think are successfully raising to be morally upstanding individuals in society.
Joey's parents think their kid is such a little angel as they raise him up around their close-minded Southern Baptist mentality, but we already know the truth. He has an entire porno mag collection and a handbook on black magic under his bed and he also has half of Mexico stored in his toy chest in his closet. Plus, he secretly watches Sodomy Street every day in his room.
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Mark H. Proud UrbanDictionary Slang Author since February 2004.
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Mark H. Proud UrbanDictionary Slang Author since February 2004.
by Mark H October 1, 2005
Get the little angel mug.1. A significantly important, valuable, or influential person or thing. Synonym of big cheese.
2. Slang for a rather large penis.
2. Slang for a rather large penis.
Ron Jeremy is and has always been the big enchilada of America's porn scene.
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Mark H. UD slang author since February 2004.
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Mark H. UD slang author since February 2004.
by Mark H September 27, 2005
Get the big enchilada mug.A combination of the words "whoa" and "holy" used to express and exclaim surprise, amazement, or astonishment. Can either be used by itself, or be placed before the words "shit,""crap,"fuck,",etc.
Jeff: "Whoaly shit man, look at the big pink elephant over there walking in our direction!"
Matt: "Whoaly crap dogg, your are WAAAASTED! That's really your girlfriend coming toward us. And whoaly... she sure is beat!"
Jeff: "But whoaly fuck yo, she sure knows how to slob my nob!"
Mark H. Expanding the universal English slang vocabulary on Urban Dictionary since February 2004.
Matt: "Whoaly crap dogg, your are WAAAASTED! That's really your girlfriend coming toward us. And whoaly... she sure is beat!"
Jeff: "But whoaly fuck yo, she sure knows how to slob my nob!"
Mark H. Expanding the universal English slang vocabulary on Urban Dictionary since February 2004.
by Mark H September 1, 2005
Get the whoaly mug.When not used in a sexual sense, a "rim job" can refer to customizing the wheel rims of a car to make it look more spiffy and pimped out.
Girl's mom: Now where's little Susan at? I really hope she doesn't get into any "fleshy" situations with that new beau of hers!
Girl's dad: Why don't worry honey! She just went to her boyfriend's auto garage so he can give her a rim job!
Mark H. Proud Urban Dictionary author since February 2004.
Girl's dad: Why don't worry honey! She just went to her boyfriend's auto garage so he can give her a rim job!
Mark H. Proud Urban Dictionary author since February 2004.
by Mark H September 1, 2005
Get the rim job mug.