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magickdio's definitions

Ear Rapist

A person who tells you things which are a total waste of your time, or whines and complains at you. Forcing you to hear things you don't want to hear means they are virtually raping your ears with their words.
Tyrone will never be invited to another dinner party after he complained about every dish served at Sheila's. Then he told everyone about the time he met Sting. Now warnings have been issued about him being an ear rapist.
by MagickDio August 10, 2010
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Internet Explorer

someone who is otherwise unemployed, and spends their entire waking life trawling the internet for free pornography.
"Since Gary lost his job, he has become a full time Internet Explorer"

"Don't be an internet explorer all your life. Get some real sex"
by MagickDio February 6, 2010
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Hard Eye

1) To give someone the hard eye is to look at them with disapproval/disdain/dislike. You give someone the hard eye when you don't know them- you just know you don't like them. Like when someone won't stop swearing when you've got small children with you. That merits a serving of hard eye.

2) To appraise something critically. One assumes that aspiring models are given the hard eye when they apply to an agency. It's when you look for things to dislike rather than things to like.
1) The mouthy teens on the bus continued to talk at deafening volume and play offensive rap music on their mobile phones, despite being given the hard eye by 90% of the passengers.

2) After giving Vanessa the hard eye as she walked to the loo, Doug decided he wouldn't be taking "her" home after all.
by MagickDio January 9, 2011
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Fuck This Shit O'Clock

That time of day when whatever you're doing becomes so irritating that you simply have to cease immediately and exit the area. No matter what the clock states as the actual time, it is still Fuck This Shit O'Clock. Morning, noon and night, any second of any hour can become Fuck This Shit O'Clock. So named because when the moment is reached, people tend to either do a wild, exasperated hand flinging gesture or smash their hands down onto a surface and say "Fuck this shit!!" And then leave.

It should be noted that although the time of Fuck This Shit O'Clock is randomly assigned, some people hate their jobs so intensely that 5pm Monday to Friday becomes Fuck This Shit O'Clock.
"Dave, can you just run me off twenty copies of this on your way past the photocopier?"

"Sorry Sir, no can do. It's Fuck This Shit O'Clock and I'm outta here."
by MagickDio October 9, 2012
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Disco Fever

What ungroomed ladies and gentleman have going on in their pants. Pubic 'fro. It is an outdated practice that people look back on with some embarrasment that they ever conducted themselves in such a fashion. The only people that enjoy Disco Fever are people that have never experienced a smoother style, or people that can't let go of the hairy, disgusting past.
So, I undressed her and it was like, Boom!! Welcome to the 70's! Disco fever going on in Gem's pants!
by MagickDio September 14, 2010
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Man Strop

The sudden and alarming hissy fit that grown men have when confronted with information that they don't like, or when asked to do something that they don't want to do. Asking for some attention to be paid to you instead of a games console, for instance, will almost always result in a man strop. Likewise, the dreadful crime of informing him that he has behaved like a twat will be punishable by a full on man strop.
"I sked him to stop playing that thing for 5 minutes and listen to me, and he threw the controller down and stormed around in a total man strop"

"Grow up, you fucking baby, stop throwing such a man strop!"
by MagickDio February 4, 2010
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Hold Your Tongue

1) Ridiculous old-school talk which means "Don't say anything". It's right up there with "Pick your feet up", "Pull your socks up", "Hold your horses" and "Sleep tight". These are also phrases which, if taken literally, would be amusing viewing.

2) A cautionary comment to a bloke who may be considering sex with a woman whose disease status is unknown, but looks rife. (Condoms won't help if you're making oral contact with females, kids. They're not magic.) It obviously means "Don't go down on her, you'll get herpes"
1) "My mummy says you're a harlot"
"Hold your tongue, Julia! And pick your feet up!"

2) "Right, I'm leaving now. Guys, this is Kelly"
(gestures to bleach blonde wearing velour tracksuit and giant hoop earrings, chewing gum and smoking at the same time)
"Alright, but Dave? Take this durex and for the love of God, hold your tongue"
by MagickDio April 27, 2010
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