kung-fu jesus's definitions

family affair

(n.) when redneck families try to figure out which one impregnated thier seven year old daughter. There is a good chance it was a brother, but uncle dad has a 5% chance.

It's a family affair.

by Kung-Fu Jesus May 29, 2004

prime

a) First
b) to prepare

You are the prime suspect.

He primed his gun for firing.

by Kung-Fu Jesus April 26, 2004

Before Ze Germans Get here

(Idiom) You are working too slow.

The base is rather obviously World War Two, and the source is southern Britain, flooded by fleeing French with a Ze accent. The term was used by British towards French to make them work faster so there was a hope of liberation.

Come on Pierre, before ze germans get here we need that milk crate!

by Kung-Fu Jesus May 10, 2004

wings

a) A band with ex-beatle Paul McCartney
b) One's ability to fly aircraft or helicopters
c) arms perpendicular to the body that allow something to fly

a) wings suck
b) get your wings!
c) aeroplane without wings?!?!?!?!

by Kung-Fu Jesus April 30, 2004

shotgun wedding

(Idiom) where extenuating circumstances mean that for either honour or pressure from a family.

The source of this is a wedding where a man was forced to marry a woman he impregnated. Her father held a shotgun to him at all times.

by Kung-Fu Jesus May 4, 2004

nutcracker

In military history, a nutcracker is where two nations, either side of a strong one attack on both fronts, making it near impossible for the cracker'd country to win. This was how world war II was won, when the soviet union attacked Germany, eventually pushing it inwards. The best defence against this is to merely use a small battalion of guerilla-styled troops to bombard all the attack points of the weaker and less enthusiastic enemy with long range weaponry, while taking the main army to the main enemy. The weaker enemy will just camp up while the stronger enemy, disheartened to hear the nutcracker did not work, will have to go solo.

The French attempted to nutcracker the English and Welsh by means of alliance with Scotland. When the countries united in 1705, the new United Kingdom was an almost invincible force on home territory.

by Kung-Fu Jesus May 3, 2004

beans of coolness

See cool beans

Gumba's workout equipment are the beans of coolness fo' shizzle!

by Kung-Fu Jesus October 21, 2006