kung-fu jesus's definitions

Sphinx

The sphinx is a limestone/rock structure located in the Valley of the Kings, Egypt. It consists of a lions' body and the head of King Khafra. Until 1926 only the head could be seen above ground, until a French-led team excavated the area revealing the entire statue. However, since it has been exposed to both the desert air and pollution from poorly drained 300,000 populous tourist city nearby the condition has declined greatly. The head is expected to fall within 200 years, and it is being eaten away at a rate of 1/5th of an inch per year. Since it was built the shpinx has been under constant maintanence, although the decline of the conquerers of Egypt, the Romans left it to gather dust after withdrawl frrom Egypt. Both the romans and the greeks however did make good efforts to rebuild the crumbling outers of the shpinx. This differes from the industrial-hardcore-and-cement methods used in 1981 by a hasty group of investors. The supreme council of antiquities has since commisioned skilled labourers to do the work properly, using the same methods as were origianally used. The 1981 attempt resulted in repair sections simply falling away, and further eroding the inner beast with high salt adhesives. Ideas for saving the battered head include a steel pole being driven through to the neck. There was a beard added in the eighteenth dynasty, although this fell off, and the fragments are scattered among private collections and museums. The largest chunk is approx. 1/13th of the beard located in London.


The nose of the sphinx is missing, and the face badly damaged.

Contrary to popular myth, the nose was not knocked off by french in the napoleonic wars, nor by the brits in WWI. Photographs show the nose being missing long before WWI, and accounts of the face being in present state predate the napoleonic wars by half a millenia.

by Kung-Fu Jesus June 6, 2004

up di batty

(v.) anal sex, buggery.

"Let's ave sum up di batty" said Eliturk to the cow.

by Kung-Fu Jesus May 7, 2004

steering lock

(n.) A bar that goes across the steerin wheel of a car, preventing the wheel from being turned unless the lock is unlocked.

Why are steering locks only used by people with cars not worth taking?

by Kung-fu Jesus July 27, 2004

Cornwallis

The man who lost america for Britain. Almost as much of an idiot as Neville Chamberlain.

Cornwallis was one of the worst Britons ever. He should have joined France.

by Kung-Fu Jesus April 30, 2004

molten metal punishment

(adj.) to be ostracized into silence by one's peers because of a fatal error on your part.


The origins lay in the times molten metal was poured down the throat of those who were found guilty of treachery in England or Wales. This practise was unused by the Scots, and was abolished when King James IV of Scotland ascended the throne of England and created a united kingdom

I screwed up that pass and cost us the game, I've got molten metal punishment.

by Kung-Fu Jesus May 1, 2004

mile high club membership

Having intercourse while on an aeroplane. To qualify, it must be moving.

I'm going to go to the bathroom. You come in and we'll get our mile high club memberships.

by Kung-Fu Jesus April 21, 2004

MG

A British motoring company, now run by BMW (And merged with another comapny, Rover.) It's 50's and 60's heyday saw it dominate the world sportscar market, along with the Jaguar XK120, prompting the United States to start making sportcars, which GM did with the corvette.

The MG TF, Midget, ZF etc.

by Kung-Fu Jesus May 3, 2004