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kittridge's definitions

put on a wig

To cheer up. When one forgets one's problems and improves in mood.
Put on a wig, Samantha! We'll go out and cut up the rug/s.
by Kittridge October 15, 2008
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hamburglar

a person who steals the lunches of others from the work fridge or lunch room.
Worker1: Where's my egg salad?!
Worker2: I saw Larry eating it before...
Worker1: Damn that little hamburglar
by Kittridge February 29, 2008
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lecturd

A thoroughly unsatisfactory lecture.
I got out of bed at 1pm for this? What a fucking lecturd!
by Kittridge February 29, 2008
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theftpos

Theftpos is the ridiculous practice observed by many businesses that requires a minimum purchase (usually ten or twenty dollars) before you can pay via eftpos.

Theftpos can also refer to any additional charge or surcharge levelled at a customer for using eftpos.

Although theftpos is referred to by the merchant as a "store policy" it is in fact a price gouge applied to people born after 1930 who don't carry cash with them everywhere.
Theftpos at work:

cashier: that'll be thirty cents.
customer: can I eftpos that?
cashier: no, the minimum purchase is twenty dollars.
customer: ...are you serious?
cashier: yes, it's store policy.
customer: god dammit, I should be able to buy gum on eftpos! This is America!
cashier: no, it's Australia
by kittridge January 23, 2011
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bureaucunt

A bureaucrat (or public servant / official, etc) who denies service, delays you, makes things difficult for or generally screws you over solely for their own pleasure / amusement / possible sexual arousal. May also result from bitterness and their being dead inside.
Man: did you get the application form?
Woman: No, he showed it to me but wouldn't hand it over, he said it had to be mailed to me.
Man: But you were right there!
Woman: I know, what a bureaucunt!
by Kittridge February 29, 2008
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Government Vacation

1) To be deployed to another country for military service. Usually as a result of forced conscription eg: WW2, Vietnam. More recently it can be due to poverty and/or stupidity eg: Iraq, Afghanistan.

2) To be detained and moved to another country by the Government in order to be tortured. Also known as extraordinary rendition.
Take a Government Vacation and you may never come back.

David Hicks enjoyed a 5 year Government Vacation in Cuba.
by kittridge October 18, 2008
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refreeze

The failure of conversation to continue after breaking the ice. All parties resume ignoring each other and don't talk.

CAUTION: attempts to re-break the ice are extremely hazardous and should only be attempted by professionals!
I sat next to that hot guy in psych and introduced myself. I got his name but then we had a refreeze.
by Kittridge February 29, 2008
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