utopiary

The bliss of a well-kept lady-garden.

She's so neat and tidy, so serene; this utopiary is the ideal of a perfect pudenda. I want to live here forever.

by jwgrooves July 07, 2010

Obsessive Computing Disorder

Psychological / neurological condition.

The inability to pass a single moment without interacting with a computer screen of some sort.

The inability to pause and relax and actually think about nothing, without feeling the overwhelming need to fill your consciousness with the inane drivel that your extended circle of "friends" post on their social media.

The inability to interact with real people in a social situation without fucking tweeting that you're doing so and instagramming a photo of it onto fucking pinterest.

Work was utterly hectic so I took five minutes away from the desk to do a crap, but I have Obsessive Computing Disorder so before I knew it I was getting my phone out for a quick game of turds with friends

by jwgrooves October 24, 2013

textonym

When using predictive text to write an SMS, sometimes an unexpected word of similar / humorous meaning may pop up.

Pint / shot / riot

Kiss / lips

Shag / rich

Sips / piss

Cock / anal

Dual / fuck

Oh no! I meant to send my boyfriend a text saying I wanted to suck his cock tonight.

Don't worry, it's just a textonym. Besides, I heard he's into that sort of thing.

by jwgrooves June 27, 2011

snofro

After you've scraped the snow from the windscreen and windows, the neat patch of snow left on the roof of your car.

My car looks wicked, all blinged up with snow chains and a crucial snofro.

by jwgrooves December 19, 2010