jwgrooves's definitions

textonym

When using predictive text to write an SMS, sometimes an unexpected word of similar / humorous meaning may pop up.

Pint / shot / riot

Kiss / lips

Shag / rich

Sips / piss

Cock / anal

Dual / fuck

Oh no! I meant to send my boyfriend a text saying I wanted to suck his cock tonight.

Don't worry, it's just a textonym. Besides, I heard he's into that sort of thing.

by jwgrooves June 29, 2011

analogue poo

When you go for a poo but forget to take your phone with you. Devoid of the stimuli of checking emails and social media you're obliged to spend a few minutes on analogue pursuits, such as thinking, meditating, singing, or perhaps reading a book or newspaper.

I'd already started to let one out when I realised my phone was on my desk, so I had to do an analogue poo. But that's ok, I came up with a great plan for the next book I'm never going to write.

by jwgrooves June 13, 2017

utopiary

The bliss of a well-kept lady-garden.

She's so neat and tidy, so serene; this utopiary is the ideal of a perfect pudenda. I want to live here forever.

by jwgrooves July 9, 2010

deleterious

adjective

1 - having a harmful effect, eg to health

2 - the panicky paranoid state of mind which inspires one to go through old emails, texts, etc, deleting anything which may be vaguely incriminating

I found my girlfriend going through my phone, but it's ok cos I got a bit deleterious last week and wiped those drunk text messages to my ex from my outbox

by jwgrooves September 5, 2010