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jwgrooves's definitions

preemptive gay strike

The practise, usually employed by sexually insecure males around men they suspect may be homosexual, of firmly establishing their heterosexuality even before it was called into question.
Dale: Nice hat, John.

John: Yeah, thanks, my wife bought it for me. She's a girl. With tits and everything. Mmmm, tits.

Dale: No need for the preemptive gay strike, dude. You're so not my type.

John: Hmph.
by jwgrooves August 17, 2010
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gastrognome

A connoisseur of fine food and wine, who is small and ugly.

Michael Winner.
Michael Winner: Waiter! This steak is diabolical. It is clearly medium rare when I specified medium! The pasta course was unimaginative and barely tepid, and as for the soup, it was redolent of a Montmartre fille du joie's vaginal secretions after a hard night's work.

Waiter: What do you expect in a Travelodge? Bloody gastrognome. *spits on desert*
by jwgrooves March 20, 2011
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textonym

When using predictive text to write an SMS, sometimes an unexpected word of similar / humorous meaning may pop up.

Pint / shot / riot

Kiss / lips

Shag / rich

Sips / piss

Cock / anal

Dual / fuck
Oh no! I meant to send my boyfriend a text saying I wanted to suck his cock tonight.

Don't worry, it's just a textonym. Besides, I heard he's into that sort of thing.
by jwgrooves June 29, 2011
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utopiary

The bliss of a well-kept lady-garden.
She's so neat and tidy, so serene; this utopiary is the ideal of a perfect pudenda. I want to live here forever.
by jwgrooves July 9, 2010
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