11 definition by jwgrooves

The practise, usually employed by sexually insecure males around men they suspect may be homosexual, of firmly establishing their heterosexuality even before it was called into question.
Dale: Nice hat, John.

John: Yeah, thanks, my wife bought it for me. She's a girl. With tits and everything. Mmmm, tits.

Dale: No need for the preemptive gay strike, dude. You're so not my type.

John: Hmph.
by jwgrooves August 17, 2010

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A state of the art, compact, portable electronic device with an LCD display, capable of carrying out complex mathematical calculations.

A calculator.
What's the area of a circle with a 5cm radius? Dammit, why didn't I upload the pi-calculator app to my ipod 5 GTi?

Don't worry, we can check the answer on my Pi-Pod.

*blows dust off calculator*
by jwgrooves January 04, 2012

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When using predictive text to write an SMS, sometimes an unexpected word of similar / humorous meaning may pop up.

Pint / shot / riot

Kiss / lips

Shag / rich

Sips / piss

Cock / anal

Dual / fuck
Oh no! I meant to send my boyfriend a text saying I wanted to suck his cock tonight.

Don't worry, it's just a textonym. Besides, I heard he's into that sort of thing.
by jwgrooves June 27, 2011

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When you go for a poo but forget to take your phone with you. Devoid of the stimuli of checking emails and social media you're obliged to spend a few minutes on analogue pursuits, such as thinking, meditating, singing, or perhaps reading a book or newspaper.
I'd already started to let one out when I realised my phone was on my desk, so I had to do an analogue poo. But that's ok, I came up with a great plan for the next book I'm never going to write.
by jwgrooves June 13, 2017

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