analogue poo

When you go for a poo but forget to take your phone with you. Devoid of the stimuli of checking emails and social media you're obliged to spend a few minutes on analogue pursuits, such as thinking, meditating, singing, or perhaps reading a book or newspaper.

I'd already started to let one out when I realised my phone was on my desk, so I had to do an analogue poo. But that's ok, I came up with a great plan for the next book I'm never going to write.

by jwgrooves June 13, 2017

dicknob

Someone who is so annoying that to call them only one penis-based-insult just isn't enough.

A compound insult that should be reserved for truly special individuals.

A bit like twatcunt.

Peter: I say! That man's pissing in our front garden.

Susan: What a dicknob! Fetch the musket.

by jwgrooves October 08, 2010

textonym

When using predictive text to write an SMS, sometimes an unexpected word of similar / humorous meaning may pop up.

Pint / shot / riot

Kiss / lips

Shag / rich

Sips / piss

Cock / anal

Dual / fuck

Oh no! I meant to send my boyfriend a text saying I wanted to suck his cock tonight.

Don't worry, it's just a textonym. Besides, I heard he's into that sort of thing.

by jwgrooves June 27, 2011

snofro

After you've scraped the snow from the windscreen and windows, the neat patch of snow left on the roof of your car.

My car looks wicked, all blinged up with snow chains and a crucial snofro.

by jwgrooves December 19, 2010