Definitions by jumpingrat

Jesus nut 

Anything that holds together a critical assembly, such as a main roter on a helicopter. If the nut, bolt ect. in question fails then the equipment will catastrophically fail and everyone in/around it will be on their way to see Jesus.

"Tighten that damn Jesus nut down good cause I ain't in the mood to see him today".

Jesus nut by Jumpingrat September 4, 2008

A boil on the ass of society 

Someone who is literally a pain in the ass. Not only to one or several people but to society as a whole.

"Stop with your complaining, you are quickly becoming a boil on the ass of society".

A boil on the ass of society by Jumpingrat September 3, 2008

I don't give half a fuck 

To care so little about something that one half of the standard fuck will suffice. Used when you want to make clear that you truely could care less.

Mary: "Do you want to go have sushi or steak?"
Joe: "Whatever, I don't care".
Mary: "Or should we go to Benihana?"
Joe: "I don't give half a fuck! Let's just eat!"

I don't give half a fuck by Jumpingrat September 2, 2008

who pissed in your coffee 

When someone is in a particularly foul mood first thing in the morning. Many people will have a cup of coffee before anything else is taken care of. Therefore their coffee must have been pissed in to start their day off so badly.

Joe: "Hi Jack! Wonderful day isn't it?"
Jack: "Ah fuck yourself you fucking fuck!"
Joe: "Well who pissed in your coffee this morning asshole!"

who pissed in your coffee by Jumpingrat March 29, 2007

3rd degree blowout 

The highest possible level of an uncontained explosive bowel movement, Unlike a 1st or 2nd degree episode, the 3rd degree will always make its mark down your pant leg, on your chair or in the shower. Nothing can be done but to clean up the inevitable mess.

Jim: That was some fine chili we had at dinner.
Bob: Yes it was, but it set a bit funny with me.
Jim: Set a bit funny? How so?
Bob: Well... (running to bathroom yet loosing bowel control 10 feet from his salvation).
Jim: Oh sweet Jesus in Heaven! Mary get your mom's adult diapers Bob's had a full 3rd degree blowout!

3rd degree blowout by Jumpingrat January 31, 2007

fuck a dead duck 

An expression one uses when caught totaly by surprise. Or when something improbable happens.

Boss: "The customer just called me and said that their order was right on the count, good job."
Packer: "Well I'll fuck a dead duck!"

fuck a dead duck by Jumpingrat January 28, 2007