iLikeSoup's definitions

Ohio University

A public university in Athens, Ohio, OU is a huge party school where the only things to do are party or study because, again, it's in Athens, Ohio. Unfortunately for its reputation, most people choose the former if given a choice. Although obviously not true of absolutely every student, the majority of its students are only there because they couldn't get into the academically superior Ohio State University or Miami University.

Why did Ohio University have to cancel its reenactment of the story of Christmas? It couldn't find three wise men and a virgin

by iLikeSoup May 8, 2010

thin privilege

In theory, this is the "privilege" that thin people earn for being thin, including not being perceived as lazy, lower healthcare costs, increased likelihood of finding a sexually attractive partner, increased earnings potential, and more. While all of the preceding examples may be true, it misconstrues the definition of privilege. Privileges are given, not earned, and the recipients and those without them can do nothing to change them. White privilege is a good example of that; either you're born white or you're not. Thin privilege, on the other hand, is often worked for by people who would otherwise be fat but instead eat right and exercise. Therefore, thin privilege doesn't actually exist.

Doctor: Ms. BBW, I'm afraid that if you don't start working out regularly and cutting down the saturated fat very soon, you'll likely be dead before you're fifty.
Fat girl: What? How dare you say that?!! THIN PRIVILEGE RACIST!!! There's nothing I can do about it, this is my body type! *Wolfs down a Big Mac.*
Doctor: How did you get a hamburger in here? Nevermind; did you know that about 100 years ago, obesity was very rare? Fast forward three or four generations. People live increasingly sedentary lifestyles, eat more, and the food they eat is higher in fat, cholesterol, and sodium. You're saying this is all a coincidence?
Fat girl: What do you know about science and medicine? I have a random article that proves I'm right! YOU CAN'T HANDLE MUH CURVES!!!

by iLikeSoup November 3, 2013

Surface Warfare Officer

Easily the largest community of officers in the United States Navy, SWOs drive ships, launch missiles, oversee safety procedures, control the public affairs outlook of ships, plan tactics, conduct safety inspections, make sure the engines are running smoothly, stand watches, maintain weapons caches, ensure smooth power flow, throw everyone around them under a bus so they can sleep and/or get promoted, cry nonstop, attempt to commit suicide but fail because they have absolutely no energy, and much more. Basically, they do everything on a ship with the notable exceptions of: sleep, have free time, and enjoy their life.

Despite the financial, educational, and prestige incentives, the Navy has an extremely difficult time retaining SWOs because their lives suck so badly. It's generally the last choice of designators, filled by people who either have to serve in the Navy because it paid for their college, or lunatics who volunteer to be a SWO and almost immediately regret their decision.

Navy Pilot: Hey guys, wanna go to a bar after work?
Intel Officer: Sure!
SEAL Officer: Sounds like a good idea.
Supply Officer: I'm in.
Public Affairs Officer: Definitely!
Surface Warfare Officer: After work? Work never stops...ever...(cries)

by iLikeSoup March 28, 2011

Multi-Level Marketing

Commonly abbreviated MLM, it's a form of selling a product whereby one person recruits other salespeople, who recruits other salespeople, ad nausea and after each sale, everybody above the salesman gets a small piece of commission. To make money in one (98%+ of people don't), one should place much more emphasis on recruiting than sales. Amway is probably the most well-known MLM.

Many MLMs have "optional" national meetings, motivational books and tapes, and other various expenses. The cost of these comes out of pocket of the individual. As a general rule, if you can be one of the first people to join a successful MLM, you'll make a lot of money, especially if you can sell all of this crap to your downline. However, if you're not in this lucky 1-2%, you'll honestly be lucky to break even in your expenses.

There is some technical difference between a pyramid scheme, which is illegal, and an MLM, which is legal. However, nobody but the high-priced lawyers which keep MLMs in business and stealing the money of its starry-eyed employees seem to know what this difference is.

There are too many Multi-Level Marketing organizations to count. After one is shut down by bankruptcy or the government, two new ones sprout from the ground.

by iLikeSoup March 28, 2011

acai berry

Acai is a berry native to South America that is pretty healthy, but hasn't been scientifically proven to be any healthier than many other types of berries, such as blueberries, raspberries, or blackberries. However, since many gullible people have never heard of acai berries, they jump at ridiculous advertisements which claim their acai berry extracts will help them lose weight. Incidentally, many of the companies selling these extracts are pyramid schemes.

Fat woman: I can't lose this excess belly fat! I've tried everything except for a sensible diet and exercise plan. What ever should I do?
Snake oil salesman: Have no fear! For only $299.99/month plus shipping and handling, you can order some acai berry extract!
FW: Does it work?
SOS: Yes.
FW: Can you prove it?
SOS: Yes.
FW: Sounds good to me! How do I sign up?

by iLikeSoup March 28, 2011