4 definitions by iHateWindstream
The only man on planet earth who contains the power to drag a teacher down the hall by her hair and is able to do so by claiming he is, "Retarded". This man absolutely loves the smell of farts, especially his own. He is known to trap his rancid farts in his XXL shirt and sniff it all up. (Not one bit of that gas goes to waste) He is also known to fart and blame it on other people. His way of blaming it on other people is the classic, "*point* It was him" method. Many have caught on to his antics and know that he is lying but still respect him for who he is.
Situation 1:
Teacher: Stephen who are you pointing at?
Stephen: He farted it wasn't me I swear.
Teacher: Okay, please sit down.
Situation 2:
Student 1: Hey did you hear about that kid Stephen Kelly?
Student 2: Yeah I did, he is awesome I am a fan!
Student 1: I am a bigger fan I follow him on Twitter #StephenKellyFan
Teacher: Stephen who are you pointing at?
Stephen: He farted it wasn't me I swear.
Teacher: Okay, please sit down.
Situation 2:
Student 1: Hey did you hear about that kid Stephen Kelly?
Student 2: Yeah I did, he is awesome I am a fan!
Student 1: I am a bigger fan I follow him on Twitter #StephenKellyFan
by iHateWindstream March 5, 2018
Poop Balancing is a fine art. It involves trying to balance your poop vertically like a little tower as you take a shit. The balancer is NOT limited to a specific surface. The beatiful thing about poop balancing is that it can be performed both indoor and outdoor at your leisure.
Betty: Eric why are there towers of poop all over the countertops and living room floor!
Eric: I am poop balancing sweetheart....
Eric: I am poop balancing sweetheart....
by iHateWindstream March 6, 2018
Pulling a Stephen Kelly is not easy. Whether it be trapping that impressive fart you've been saving all day in your shirt, or farting out loud and blaming it on the poor person next to you, or even dragging a poor teacher down the hallway by her hair, it takes a special person such as Stephen himself to pull it off. You just have to claim that you are slow in the head and everything will settle in.
Stephen: *fart*
Teacher: Who farted? That was so rude!
Stephen: *Pointing rapidly at the person next to him*
Teacher: You just pulled The Stephen Kelly you sneaky bastard!
Stephen: *Drags the teacher down the hall by her hair*
Class: What the hell is going on?
Student 1: Oh my lord, he is going to get expelled.
Student 2: No he won't he is slow in the head.
Teacher: Who farted? That was so rude!
Stephen: *Pointing rapidly at the person next to him*
Teacher: You just pulled The Stephen Kelly you sneaky bastard!
Stephen: *Drags the teacher down the hall by her hair*
Class: What the hell is going on?
Student 1: Oh my lord, he is going to get expelled.
Student 2: No he won't he is slow in the head.
by iHateWindstream March 6, 2018
Randyman spends most of his time in indoor habitats. The general temperature in which he prefers is roughly 65 degrees fahrenheit with low humidity. His main diet consists of whiskey and vodka. He also smells like Mac'n cheese.
WARNING: Please approach the Randyman with caution. Randyman tends to facebash objects and other human beings at random. At this time it currently unknown as to what causes him to facebash. More scientifical studies are underway as scientists predict that they will have a better understanding about this violent behaviour that is causing the world so much grief.
History:
1961 facebashed John F. Kennedy
1970 facebashed his wife
1974 facebashed a gas station clerk
1976 facebashed the leader of a bowling team
1994 facebashed his way out of prison
1996 facebashed a fire truck
1998 facebashed Willy Wonka
2001 facebashed the twin towers
2002 facebashed the stock market
2011 facebashed Garrett
WARNING: Please approach the Randyman with caution. Randyman tends to facebash objects and other human beings at random. At this time it currently unknown as to what causes him to facebash. More scientifical studies are underway as scientists predict that they will have a better understanding about this violent behaviour that is causing the world so much grief.
History:
1961 facebashed John F. Kennedy
1970 facebashed his wife
1974 facebashed a gas station clerk
1976 facebashed the leader of a bowling team
1994 facebashed his way out of prison
1996 facebashed a fire truck
1998 facebashed Willy Wonka
2001 facebashed the twin towers
2002 facebashed the stock market
2011 facebashed Garrett
Garrett: I have a gun and I will kill everyone in this bank if you don't hand over the money.
Randyman: Put down the gun, your unibrow is making people throw up and go blind.
Garrett: You asked for it!
Randyman: *facebashes Garrett* He got what he deserved now everyone can go home safely.
Bank clerk: Omg Randyman is so sexy!
Randyman: Put down the gun, your unibrow is making people throw up and go blind.
Garrett: You asked for it!
Randyman: *facebashes Garrett* He got what he deserved now everyone can go home safely.
Bank clerk: Omg Randyman is so sexy!
by iHateWindstream November 14, 2016