5 definitions by hecktor dangus, esq.
A private place of residence that has a steady flow of shady visitors due to the nature of business within said dwelling, i.e. the exchange of cash for black market goods and/or services, such as illegal drugs, weapons, prostitution, or some combination thereof.
Yo man, let's roll over to Sampson's place to score an ounce of weed.
Fuck that sketch pad, broham! Last time I bought herb from that dude, he opened up to me like I was Barbra Walters...told me he was impotent and shit...plus, one of his bitches was buggin' out on PCP and bit my goddang nuts. Let's just scrape some resin outta my bong instead.
Fuck that sketch pad, broham! Last time I bought herb from that dude, he opened up to me like I was Barbra Walters...told me he was impotent and shit...plus, one of his bitches was buggin' out on PCP and bit my goddang nuts. Let's just scrape some resin outta my bong instead.
by hecktor dangus, esq. February 17, 2008
a highly undesirable circumstance; the state in which fucktards are doomed to continually exist. Paradoxically, fucktards (consciously or unconsciously) also perpetuate the state of fucktardation everywhere they go. Thus, the fucktard essentially functions as a living virus of fucktardation.
"Dude, did any fly hookers show up for the party at dangus' place?"
"Hell naw dawg, that joint was nothin' but a sausage party...but the REAL fucktardation didn't start until the pigs rolled up."
"Hell naw dawg, that joint was nothin' but a sausage party...but the REAL fucktardation didn't start until the pigs rolled up."
by hecktor dangus, esq. October 23, 2007
A one-way conversation wherein the passive participant cannot break away from the one who is speaking, despite the tediously protracted passage of time. This is a common manifestation of fucktardation.
The 'hostage taker' often falls into (but is certainly not limited to) one of these categories:
1. the drunk person with whom one is barely acquainted, but who adamantly refuses to recognize their lack of a substantial past connection with the hostage and continues to shout about themselves over whatever noise is happening at the bar/club/concert/tractor pull
2. a person who has experienced a recent break-up, and feels compelled to verbally re-hash the experience ad nauseum
3. someone who habitually takes otherwise harmless small talk to the worst possible extreme, talking the ear off of anyone who will listen about insubstantial trivia because they cannot comprehend the beauty of conversational brevity
The 'hostage taker' often falls into (but is certainly not limited to) one of these categories:
1. the drunk person with whom one is barely acquainted, but who adamantly refuses to recognize their lack of a substantial past connection with the hostage and continues to shout about themselves over whatever noise is happening at the bar/club/concert/tractor pull
2. a person who has experienced a recent break-up, and feels compelled to verbally re-hash the experience ad nauseum
3. someone who habitually takes otherwise harmless small talk to the worst possible extreme, talking the ear off of anyone who will listen about insubstantial trivia because they cannot comprehend the beauty of conversational brevity
person one: "Hey Dangus, how did things go at your family reunion?"
person two: "Sketchy! I got spotted by my drunk-ass aunt...the bitch talked my ear off for an hour about her divorce, like I give a shit...her crackhead ex is probably getting his fudge tunnel reamed in some sketch pad right now. The hostage crisis went on for so long that I was getting desperate...so I farted really loud on purpose while she was talking, and then remarked, 'HEY, DID YOU HEAR WHAT THAT ASSHOLE SAID?' The lush's mouth dropped open and I bailed...crisis averted!"
person two: "Sketchy! I got spotted by my drunk-ass aunt...the bitch talked my ear off for an hour about her divorce, like I give a shit...her crackhead ex is probably getting his fudge tunnel reamed in some sketch pad right now. The hostage crisis went on for so long that I was getting desperate...so I farted really loud on purpose while she was talking, and then remarked, 'HEY, DID YOU HEAR WHAT THAT ASSHOLE SAID?' The lush's mouth dropped open and I bailed...crisis averted!"
by hecktor dangus, esq. May 17, 2008
A euphemism that describes the willing anal opening of a recipient of some sort of penetration, usually of the gay male variety.
Did you hear about the latest conservative Republican gay sex scandal?
Yeah man, those dudes keep getting caught with their hands in the fudge jar!
Yeah man, those dudes keep getting caught with their hands in the fudge jar!
by hecktor dangus, esq. November 1, 2007
A purse or handbag left behind in the work area of a female who has gone temporarily AWOL from her job, but who wishes to mislead co-workers into thinking she is still nearby. A stunt purse normally contains no personal effects of actual value, but may be stuffed with worthless items to give the appearance of being an actively-used accessory.
Wage Slave A: "Girl, I gotta know...how the fuck did you get away with taking a 3-hour lunch break yesterday?"
Wage Slave B: "AAHahaha, those dumb bastards in upper management always fall for the stunt purse trick! Now pass me that crack pipe before you burn your goddamn lips!"
Wage Slave B: "AAHahaha, those dumb bastards in upper management always fall for the stunt purse trick! Now pass me that crack pipe before you burn your goddamn lips!"
by hecktor dangus, esq. May 5, 2008