harris bergstein's definitions
The practice of purchasing an item and then returning a different (usually inferior or obsolete) item in the original packaging for a refund or credit. The term is usually applied to electronic components (video cards and the like), where such substitutions are likely to pass unnoticed. The practice is also generally limited to big-box stores like Best Buy or Wal*Mart, where sales volume, employee apathy, and managerial incompetence combine to create an extremely subterfuge-friendly environment.
The word may originate from a bastardized tense of "take."
For an example of primitive reverse teeking, please consult www.tomsphotos.com/router
The word may originate from a bastardized tense of "take."
For an example of primitive reverse teeking, please consult www.tomsphotos.com/router
"Wow, an 80 Gig iPod! How much did that set you back?"
"Nothing, I teeked out my 30."
"Did you sell your old box?"
"Not yet. I think I'm gonna teek the parts at CompUSA."
"Nothing, I teeked out my 30."
"Did you sell your old box?"
"Not yet. I think I'm gonna teek the parts at CompUSA."
by Harris Bergstein December 27, 2006
Get the teek mug.1. Like a sitrep, but in a civilian / corporate context and, more specifically, describing a situation that has absolutely no silver lining.
WALT: Hey boss, looks like we have a big problem here.
JAMES: Gimme the shithap.
WALT: Well, it looks like the production line is down because of civil unrest in Thailand and when I tried to get in touch with the COO, he was freaking out about a dead prostitute in his hotel room.
JAMES: Not good.
WALT: Male prostitute.
JAMES: Really not good.
WALT: Potentially a Jonas brother.
JAMES: Top grade shithap, Walt. Get my chopper fueled for Phuket and keep up the good work.
JAMES: Gimme the shithap.
WALT: Well, it looks like the production line is down because of civil unrest in Thailand and when I tried to get in touch with the COO, he was freaking out about a dead prostitute in his hotel room.
JAMES: Not good.
WALT: Male prostitute.
JAMES: Really not good.
WALT: Potentially a Jonas brother.
JAMES: Top grade shithap, Walt. Get my chopper fueled for Phuket and keep up the good work.
by Harris Bergstein May 12, 2010
Get the shithap mug.The art of playing the rules instead of playing a game. For example, trying to work out a walk in slow-pitch softball. Swing the bat, you puss!
Also applicable to weenies who demand free throws after the slightest contact in a pick-up basketball game and d-bags who take yardage penalties in backyard football games.
Also applicable to weenies who demand free throws after the slightest contact in a pick-up basketball game and d-bags who take yardage penalties in backyard football games.
Pops: Hit it out of the park, boy!
Son: Don't pressure me, I'm trying to work the count.
Pops: Don't play lawyer ball, son.
Son: Don't pressure me, I'm trying to work the count.
Pops: Don't play lawyer ball, son.
by Harris Bergstein December 24, 2006
Get the Lawyer Ball mug.by Harris Bergstein December 27, 2006
Get the sweet Jesus in a smoking birchbark canoe mug.An individual of Scandinavian descent. Also applicable to landlocked enclaves of Scandinavian emigrants, such as the entire state of Minnesota, even though these communities no longer choke their herring in the traditional fashion but instead rely on commercial canneries to pre-choke and pickle their fish.
by Harris Bergstein December 27, 2006
Get the herring choker mug.1. A poorly maintained tambourine. Perhaps because it got dropped in a puddle or left outside or something.
2. Like a rusty trombone, but for people who can't really play an instrument.
2. Like a rusty trombone, but for people who can't really play an instrument.
1.
"Hey buddy, that's a pretty rusty tambourine."
"Yeah, I guess I dropped it in a puddle or left it outside or something."
2.
"I thought it would be hot if I got a rusty trombone from Janet, but it was sort of like getting an amateur prostate exam and an indian burn at the same time. It's like kids aren't learning anything at band camp nowadays."
"You shouldn't say 'indian burn,' dude. That's not cool."
"Hey buddy, that's a pretty rusty tambourine."
"Yeah, I guess I dropped it in a puddle or left it outside or something."
2.
"I thought it would be hot if I got a rusty trombone from Janet, but it was sort of like getting an amateur prostate exam and an indian burn at the same time. It's like kids aren't learning anything at band camp nowadays."
"You shouldn't say 'indian burn,' dude. That's not cool."
by Harris Bergstein November 3, 2007
Get the rusty tambourine mug."Hey Janet, could we move the sales meeting to the conference room? The pornophile across from my office is watching a three-way on his widescreen."
"It's nine thirty in the morning."
"It's porno, Janet, not gin."
"It's nine thirty in the morning."
"It's porno, Janet, not gin."
by Harris Bergstein December 19, 2006
Get the pornophile mug.