harris bergstein's definitions
1. Like a sitrep, but in a civilian / corporate context and, more specifically, describing a situation that has absolutely no silver lining.
WALT: Hey boss, looks like we have a big problem here.
JAMES: Gimme the shithap.
WALT: Well, it looks like the production line is down because of civil unrest in Thailand and when I tried to get in touch with the COO, he was freaking out about a dead prostitute in his hotel room.
JAMES: Not good.
WALT: Male prostitute.
JAMES: Really not good.
WALT: Potentially a Jonas brother.
JAMES: Top grade shithap, Walt. Get my chopper fueled for Phuket and keep up the good work.
JAMES: Gimme the shithap.
WALT: Well, it looks like the production line is down because of civil unrest in Thailand and when I tried to get in touch with the COO, he was freaking out about a dead prostitute in his hotel room.
JAMES: Not good.
WALT: Male prostitute.
JAMES: Really not good.
WALT: Potentially a Jonas brother.
JAMES: Top grade shithap, Walt. Get my chopper fueled for Phuket and keep up the good work.
by Harris Bergstein May 12, 2010
Get the shithapmug. The practice of purchasing an item and then returning a different (usually inferior or obsolete) item in the original packaging for a refund or credit. The term is usually applied to electronic components (video cards and the like), where such substitutions are likely to pass unnoticed. The practice is also generally limited to big-box stores like Best Buy or Wal*Mart, where sales volume, employee apathy, and managerial incompetence combine to create an extremely subterfuge-friendly environment.
The word may originate from a bastardized tense of "take."
For an example of primitive reverse teeking, please consult www.tomsphotos.com/router
The word may originate from a bastardized tense of "take."
For an example of primitive reverse teeking, please consult www.tomsphotos.com/router
"Wow, an 80 Gig iPod! How much did that set you back?"
"Nothing, I teeked out my 30."
"Did you sell your old box?"
"Not yet. I think I'm gonna teek the parts at CompUSA."
"Nothing, I teeked out my 30."
"Did you sell your old box?"
"Not yet. I think I'm gonna teek the parts at CompUSA."
by Harris Bergstein December 27, 2006
Get the teekmug. That last cup of coffee left in the office pot at 4:30 in the afternoon, you know, the one that's been cooking down all day until it's thick as molasses, burned, and dirty like 10,000-mile-old engine oil. Mmmm-mmmh.
Bob: That smells delightful. What is it, a vente americano from Starbucks?
Nancy: Nope, I just added some hot tap water to three fingers of office espresso.
Nancy: Nope, I just added some hot tap water to three fingers of office espresso.
by Harris Bergstein January 24, 2007
Get the office espressomug. A user-written compendium of cocktail recipes.
Bert: "I can't find 'Flaming Nazi Buster' in bourbon dictionary."
Jan: "Look under 'Nazi Buster, Flaming.'"
Bert: "Oh."
Jan: "Look under 'Nazi Buster, Flaming.'"
Bert: "Oh."
by Harris Bergstein April 2, 2007
Get the bourbon dictionarymug. The artful display of the bared nipples or cooter, typically while entering or exiting a limousine, possibly while accompanied by other tween queens or noted amateur pornographers, in the hopes that such displays of surgery-mangled teats or Cletus-ravage pissflaps will attract the fickle lens of an itinerant paparazzo, with the ultimate goal of garnering column inches in Entertainment Weekly. Historically, actresses and singers of dubious talent have had the dignity and self-respect to limit such displays to the centerfolds of men's magazines--where the graces of airbrushing and a little vaseline on the lens masks all manner of caesarean scars, razorburns, and waxrashes. If this trend continues, it is only a matter of a short span of time and a large pile of blow before the phrase "to go Lohando," in addition to the traditonal nip and quim slips, will also come to include deliberate public displays of one's horribly distended anal pucker and the televised insertion of specula into every unplumbed orifice. But hey, it still beats watching <I>Freaky Friday.</I>
Carlo: I think I might go Lohando, but I'm worried that these Daisy Dukes might interfere with my dangle.
Gustav: Is that really appropriate for a job interview?
Gustav: Is that really appropriate for a job interview?
by Harris Bergstein December 24, 2006
Get the go Lohandomug. The culinary delight that results from riding the subway with your lunch in your back pocket. Kind of like a modern-day saddle steak.
My wallet felt a little softer than usual when I sat down on the L this morning and then I remembered I'd put a PBJ in my pocket. By the time I got to work, it was the perfect back-pocket panini, flat and warm. Only thing missing was grill marks.
by Harris Bergstein April 30, 2009
Get the back-pocket paninimug. 1. A poorly maintained tambourine. Perhaps because it got dropped in a puddle or left outside or something.
2. Like a rusty trombone, but for people who can't really play an instrument.
2. Like a rusty trombone, but for people who can't really play an instrument.
1.
"Hey buddy, that's a pretty rusty tambourine."
"Yeah, I guess I dropped it in a puddle or left it outside or something."
2.
"I thought it would be hot if I got a rusty trombone from Janet, but it was sort of like getting an amateur prostate exam and an indian burn at the same time. It's like kids aren't learning anything at band camp nowadays."
"You shouldn't say 'indian burn,' dude. That's not cool."
"Hey buddy, that's a pretty rusty tambourine."
"Yeah, I guess I dropped it in a puddle or left it outside or something."
2.
"I thought it would be hot if I got a rusty trombone from Janet, but it was sort of like getting an amateur prostate exam and an indian burn at the same time. It's like kids aren't learning anything at band camp nowadays."
"You shouldn't say 'indian burn,' dude. That's not cool."
by Harris Bergstein November 3, 2007
Get the rusty tambourinemug.