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harris bergstein's definitions

bourbon dictionary

A user-written compendium of cocktail recipes.
Bert: "I can't find 'Flaming Nazi Buster' in bourbon dictionary."
Jan: "Look under 'Nazi Buster, Flaming.'"
Bert: "Oh."
by Harris Bergstein April 2, 2007
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General Lee

The Hasslehoff isn't cool enough to squeegee the windshield of the General Lee.
by Harris Bergstein December 25, 2006
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sweet Jesus in a smoking birchbark canoe

The superlative form of Jesus. (Comparative: "Jesus H. Christ" or "Sweeter Jesus.")
Sam: "Sweet Jesus in a smoking birchbark canoe!"
by Harris Bergstein December 27, 2006
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Chrismukkah

Apparently celebrated by Jews for Jesus, according to this pamplet I was given on the F train. Not to be confused with Groundhog Luther King Day, which isn't celebrated by anybody. Yet.
Jew for Jesus: Happy Chrismukkah!
Me: No.
by Harris Bergstein December 25, 2006
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Lawyer Ball

The art of playing the rules instead of playing a game. For example, trying to work out a walk in slow-pitch softball. Swing the bat, you puss!

Also applicable to weenies who demand free throws after the slightest contact in a pick-up basketball game and d-bags who take yardage penalties in backyard football games.
Pops: Hit it out of the park, boy!
Son: Don't pressure me, I'm trying to work the count.
Pops: Don't play lawyer ball, son.
by Harris Bergstein December 24, 2006
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office espresso

That last cup of coffee left in the office pot at 4:30 in the afternoon, you know, the one that's been cooking down all day until it's thick as molasses, burned, and dirty like 10,000-mile-old engine oil. Mmmm-mmmh.
Bob: That smells delightful. What is it, a vente americano from Starbucks?
Nancy: Nope, I just added some hot tap water to three fingers of office espresso.
by Harris Bergstein January 24, 2007
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shithap

1. Like a sitrep, but in a civilian / corporate context and, more specifically, describing a situation that has absolutely no silver lining.
WALT: Hey boss, looks like we have a big problem here.

JAMES: Gimme the shithap.

WALT: Well, it looks like the production line is down because of civil unrest in Thailand and when I tried to get in touch with the COO, he was freaking out about a dead prostitute in his hotel room.

JAMES: Not good.

WALT: Male prostitute.

JAMES: Really not good.

WALT: Potentially a Jonas brother.

JAMES: Top grade shithap, Walt. Get my chopper fueled for Phuket and keep up the good work.
by Harris Bergstein May 12, 2010
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