harris bergstein's definitions
That last cup of coffee left in the office pot at 4:30 in the afternoon, you know, the one that's been cooking down all day until it's thick as molasses, burned, and dirty like 10,000-mile-old engine oil. Mmmm-mmmh.
Bob: That smells delightful. What is it, a vente americano from Starbucks?
Nancy: Nope, I just added some hot tap water to three fingers of office espresso.
Nancy: Nope, I just added some hot tap water to three fingers of office espresso.
by Harris Bergstein January 24, 2007
Get the office espressomug. 1. Like a sitrep, but in a civilian / corporate context and, more specifically, describing a situation that has absolutely no silver lining.
WALT: Hey boss, looks like we have a big problem here.
JAMES: Gimme the shithap.
WALT: Well, it looks like the production line is down because of civil unrest in Thailand and when I tried to get in touch with the COO, he was freaking out about a dead prostitute in his hotel room.
JAMES: Not good.
WALT: Male prostitute.
JAMES: Really not good.
WALT: Potentially a Jonas brother.
JAMES: Top grade shithap, Walt. Get my chopper fueled for Phuket and keep up the good work.
JAMES: Gimme the shithap.
WALT: Well, it looks like the production line is down because of civil unrest in Thailand and when I tried to get in touch with the COO, he was freaking out about a dead prostitute in his hotel room.
JAMES: Not good.
WALT: Male prostitute.
JAMES: Really not good.
WALT: Potentially a Jonas brother.
JAMES: Top grade shithap, Walt. Get my chopper fueled for Phuket and keep up the good work.
by Harris Bergstein May 12, 2010
Get the shithapmug. The practice of purchasing an item and then returning a different (usually inferior or obsolete) item in the original packaging for a refund or credit. The term is usually applied to electronic components (video cards and the like), where such substitutions are likely to pass unnoticed. The practice is also generally limited to big-box stores like Best Buy or Wal*Mart, where sales volume, employee apathy, and managerial incompetence combine to create an extremely subterfuge-friendly environment.
The word may originate from a bastardized tense of "take."
For an example of primitive reverse teeking, please consult www.tomsphotos.com/router
The word may originate from a bastardized tense of "take."
For an example of primitive reverse teeking, please consult www.tomsphotos.com/router
"Wow, an 80 Gig iPod! How much did that set you back?"
"Nothing, I teeked out my 30."
"Did you sell your old box?"
"Not yet. I think I'm gonna teek the parts at CompUSA."
"Nothing, I teeked out my 30."
"Did you sell your old box?"
"Not yet. I think I'm gonna teek the parts at CompUSA."
by Harris Bergstein December 27, 2006
Get the teekmug. A form of cross-country training originally from Sweden, but adapted to a city environment. Like traditional backcountry fartlek, stoplight fartlek involves changing the tempo of the run, except instead of instinctually changing pace, the speed is governed by traffic and lights.
"I thought I'd take a leisurely jog around the park, but it turned into a stoplight fartlek when I tried to ride a greenwave and dodge a couple buses."
by Harris Bergstein August 8, 2008
Get the stoplight fartlekmug. 1. A poorly maintained tambourine. Perhaps because it got dropped in a puddle or left outside or something.
2. Like a rusty trombone, but for people who can't really play an instrument.
2. Like a rusty trombone, but for people who can't really play an instrument.
1.
"Hey buddy, that's a pretty rusty tambourine."
"Yeah, I guess I dropped it in a puddle or left it outside or something."
2.
"I thought it would be hot if I got a rusty trombone from Janet, but it was sort of like getting an amateur prostate exam and an indian burn at the same time. It's like kids aren't learning anything at band camp nowadays."
"You shouldn't say 'indian burn,' dude. That's not cool."
"Hey buddy, that's a pretty rusty tambourine."
"Yeah, I guess I dropped it in a puddle or left it outside or something."
2.
"I thought it would be hot if I got a rusty trombone from Janet, but it was sort of like getting an amateur prostate exam and an indian burn at the same time. It's like kids aren't learning anything at band camp nowadays."
"You shouldn't say 'indian burn,' dude. That's not cool."
by Harris Bergstein November 3, 2007
Get the rusty tambourinemug. An individual of Scandinavian descent. Also applicable to landlocked enclaves of Scandinavian emigrants, such as the entire state of Minnesota, even though these communities no longer choke their herring in the traditional fashion but instead rely on commercial canneries to pre-choke and pickle their fish.
by Harris Bergstein December 27, 2006
Get the herring chokermug. Remember that one part where Billy Dee Williams calls up his buddy with the robotic bluetooth headphones and he goes and IMs Darth Vader, who's all like "L0LZ, 1 4/\/\ j00r f4t-3r!!! PWN3|)!" That was awesome.
by Harris Bergstein December 28, 2006
Get the bluetoothmug.