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Definitions by harris bergstein

herring choker

An individual of Scandinavian descent. Also applicable to landlocked enclaves of Scandinavian emigrants, such as the entire state of Minnesota, even though these communities no longer choke their herring in the traditional fashion but instead rely on commercial canneries to pre-choke and pickle their fish.
Torvald: Hey, this bar got any Tuborg?
Barkeep: Sorry, we don't serve herring chokers here.
herring choker by Harris Bergstein December 27, 2006
The practice of purchasing an item and then returning a different (usually inferior or obsolete) item in the original packaging for a refund or credit. The term is usually applied to electronic components (video cards and the like), where such substitutions are likely to pass unnoticed. The practice is also generally limited to big-box stores like Best Buy or Wal*Mart, where sales volume, employee apathy, and managerial incompetence combine to create an extremely subterfuge-friendly environment.

The word may originate from a bastardized tense of "take."

For an example of primitive reverse teeking, please consult www.tomsphotos.com/router
"Wow, an 80 Gig iPod! How much did that set you back?"
"Nothing, I teeked out my 30."

"Did you sell your old box?"
"Not yet. I think I'm gonna teek the parts at CompUSA."
teek by Harris Bergstein December 27, 2006

sweet Jesus in a smoking birchbark canoe 

The superlative form of Jesus. (Comparative: "Jesus H. Christ" or "Sweeter Jesus.")
Sam: "Sweet Jesus in a smoking birchbark canoe!"
A man, usually of Mediterranean or Latin origin, who receives gifts from a woman in exchange for providing her with companionship and sex. Typically, this relationship involves a younger man and an older woman. The younger man will usually have a name like Carlo or Konstantine and he will regularly wax his scrotum and will under no circumstances ever button his shirt higher than his sternum.
"Man, there were a lot of juggalos at that ICP concert last night."
juggalo by Harris Bergstein December 27, 2006

General Lee 

The Hasslehoff isn't cool enough to squeegee the windshield of the General Lee.
General Lee by Harris Bergstein December 25, 2006

Chrismukkah 

Apparently celebrated by Jews for Jesus, according to this pamplet I was given on the F train. Not to be confused with Groundhog Luther King Day, which isn't celebrated by anybody. Yet.
Jew for Jesus: Happy Chrismukkah!
Me: No.
Chrismukkah by Harris Bergstein December 25, 2006

go Lohando 

The artful display of the bared nipples or cooter, typically while entering or exiting a limousine, possibly while accompanied by other tween queens or noted amateur pornographers, in the hopes that such displays of surgery-mangled teats or Cletus-ravage pissflaps will attract the fickle lens of an itinerant paparazzo, with the ultimate goal of garnering column inches in Entertainment Weekly. Historically, actresses and singers of dubious talent have had the dignity and self-respect to limit such displays to the centerfolds of men's magazines--where the graces of airbrushing and a little vaseline on the lens masks all manner of caesarean scars, razorburns, and waxrashes. If this trend continues, it is only a matter of a short span of time and a large pile of blow before the phrase "to go Lohando," in addition to the traditonal nip and quim slips, will also come to include deliberate public displays of one's horribly distended anal pucker and the televised insertion of specula into every unplumbed orifice. But hey, it still beats watching <I>Freaky Friday.</I>
Carlo: I think I might go Lohando, but I'm worried that these Daisy Dukes might interfere with my dangle.

Gustav: Is that really appropriate for a job interview?
go Lohando by Harris Bergstein December 24, 2006