h.s. willsy's definitions

Fettlers

A Prestonian word for old men who exist as soon as the pubs are open. They're usually identifiable by their brown, slouched appearance and the musk of cheap tobacco and piss. They may surround themselves with a ring of empty pint glasses as if they were under siege from reality.

"Those fettlers are dying out."

"Yeah?"

"There’s not any less of them, dying out is just their style."

by H.S. Willsy August 25, 2011

Funky Trap

A form of preversion. Involves inviting a group of foot fetishistists to a house in which shoes must be removed to gain entry. They'll all come assuming that they can sneak away at some point to have an illicit sniff of the shoes left by the door. However, what actually happens is you steal the shoes while they are in the other room and take them away for a horrible sniffing.

"Shoes?!? Where are the goddamn shoes?"

"You after the shoes too?"

"I was after the shoes, was everybody after the shoes?"

"Fuck! It's a funky trap!"

See preversions and prevert

by H.S. Willsy August 25, 2011

Kurt Cobrained

When someone gets wasted to the point that there brains are literally no longer in their skull, they are Kurt Cobrained.

"Ah, fuck! This kid on the sofa's Kurt Cobrained man!"

"What?"

"His brains are all external to his skull and shit!"

"Ahhh! Fuck! Put a lamp shade over his head or something!"

"Ahhh! Okay, there we go. Now what?"

"Now we warm these Pot Noodles up."

by H.S. Willsy August 26, 2011

Drunk Reset

A vomit that restores you to an earlier save point of soberness

"I don't feel too bad now but I don't remember anything between here and the club."

"Yeah, you hit the drunk reset on the way back."

"Oh, that's good."

"Not really dude, you were french kissing your girlfriend's brother when it happened."

"Yish, not again."

by H.S. Willsy August 23, 2011

Whoa

The collective noun of hippies, as in- a whoa of hippies

"Which whoa were you in, the one with the drum circle or the one that Timothy Leary was hanging around?"

"Err...it was the one with the dragon that kept vomiting itself inside out... I think."

"Okay so the second one then. Now lets just go over there and get your goddamn shoes back so we can leave."

by H.S. Willsy August 18, 2011

Action Satchel

An alternative name for man-bags that was invented to make insecure men feel less effeminate about owning what is essentially a handbag.

Clutching his action satchel, Timmy barged through the closed wooden doors and out into the storm.

"I'll show those lousy lumberjacks who's a real man," he shrieked, stomping his foot against the floor like some sort of wet sissy grasshopper. "I'LL SHOW EM, I'LL SHOW EM, I'LL SHOW EM!!!"

by H.S. Willsy August 25, 2011

Trick of the Thai

Mistaking a male Thai prostitute for a female one can be called a 'trick of the thai' due to how ladylike many of them look. It's usually an excuse made by men who were out shopping for some ladyboy action, got caught getting it and then didn't want to admit to it after. Because why would they not just check up front if they didn't want it? It's not like we don't know that they're out there. Lurking.

"Whoa, hey Stan, this girls got balls!"

"Wha...err...oh, no way. Total trick of the thai man, I well thought it was a girl. Honest."

"Hmm."

"Yeah...can I have five minutes to finish off?"

by H.S. Willsy August 26, 2011