h.s. willsy's definitions
Ket cramps (or K cramps) is the name of the abdominal pain suffered by users of ketamine who take 1g + per day for a prolonged period of time
by H.S. Willsy August 26, 2011
Get the Ket Cramps mug.A prevert is a person who pre-empts a pervert by doing to the pervert what they would have done to them, e.g. when a ballerina takes an illicit sniff of a foot fetishists loafer or when a child rapes a paedophile
"Mrs. Robinson? Mrs. Robinson? Hi, I'm sorry to have to tell you this but your son Billy molested me last night. Molested me badly."
"Oh my god! Billy did?"
"Yes I'm afraid so."
"Hey, wait a minute, aren't you that paedophile that just moved into the area?"
"Err...yeah...Frank's the name. But I didn't initiate anything, I swear to god."
"Oh that's just mummy's little prevert taking matters into his own hands. I mean, you would have done it to him wouldn't you? Wouldn't you pervert?"
"Yeah...yeah I suppose I would."
"You have to wake up pretty early in the morning to surprise my Billy!"
"Oh my god! Billy did?"
"Yes I'm afraid so."
"Hey, wait a minute, aren't you that paedophile that just moved into the area?"
"Err...yeah...Frank's the name. But I didn't initiate anything, I swear to god."
"Oh that's just mummy's little prevert taking matters into his own hands. I mean, you would have done it to him wouldn't you? Wouldn't you pervert?"
"Yeah...yeah I suppose I would."
"You have to wake up pretty early in the morning to surprise my Billy!"
by H.S. Willsy August 25, 2011
Get the Prevert mug."Did you see Zoidberg sand crabbing on Futurama last night?"
"No, I had to slay that dragon-witch didn't I."
"Dragon-witch?"
"It's a dragon with the powers of a witch. Or it was anyway. Now it's just 18 tonnes of value to premium grade dog food."
"No, I had to slay that dragon-witch didn't I."
"Dragon-witch?"
"It's a dragon with the powers of a witch. Or it was anyway. Now it's just 18 tonnes of value to premium grade dog food."
by H.S. Willsy August 27, 2011
Get the Sand Crabbing mug.The panel of judges that attach a monetary reward to insane stunts performed by reckless vehicleists. Points are rewarded for:
height, length, helicopters taken down, hoes annihilated, hoes impregnated, pimps flattened, homages to Scarface made, police evaded, FBI humiliated, single file rows of, "Gouranga," shouting Hare Krishnas ploughed down, cars exploded, tanks exploded, rescue services exploded and pedestrians splattered.
The committee is currently comprised of Pope Ratzenberger, Kermit the Frog, Tinky Winky, Jerry Bruckheimer and Ringo Starr
height, length, helicopters taken down, hoes annihilated, hoes impregnated, pimps flattened, homages to Scarface made, police evaded, FBI humiliated, single file rows of, "Gouranga," shouting Hare Krishnas ploughed down, cars exploded, tanks exploded, rescue services exploded and pedestrians splattered.
The committee is currently comprised of Pope Ratzenberger, Kermit the Frog, Tinky Winky, Jerry Bruckheimer and Ringo Starr
"I came off my motorbike the other day and totally splodged a load of old ladies and the Insane Stunt Bonus Award Committee gave me £300!"
"Nice. I only got £30 last week when I accidentally reversed over that penguin."
"You probably wouldn't have got anything if it hadn't have been so endangered."
"Flightless birds are dumb."
"Nice. I only got £30 last week when I accidentally reversed over that penguin."
"You probably wouldn't have got anything if it hadn't have been so endangered."
"Flightless birds are dumb."
by H.S. Willsy August 25, 2011
Get the Insane Stunt Bonus Award Committee mug.The act of using Urban Dictionary to impress the object of your desire by listing their first name with a definition that's somewhere along the lines of:
X is the most amazing girl in the world, she is really pretty and amazing and she was kind to an animal and when she smile it light up all of the world and she would make anyone fall in love with her because she is amazing and I am lucky to know her and I thank god every day for making such an amazing girl and hope please that she on love with me also.
Almost certainly doesn't get these dweebs the sex they think it will.
X is the most amazing girl in the world, she is really pretty and amazing and she was kind to an animal and when she smile it light up all of the world and she would make anyone fall in love with her because she is amazing and I am lucky to know her and I thank god every day for making such an amazing girl and hope please that she on love with me also.
Almost certainly doesn't get these dweebs the sex they think it will.
"Hey X, have a look at this what I have done for you."
"Err...are you UD wooing me you fucking mong?"
"...no?"
"Die. Die now. Kill yourself while I watch and eat these Doritos."
"Okay..."
"Err...are you UD wooing me you fucking mong?"
"...no?"
"Die. Die now. Kill yourself while I watch and eat these Doritos."
"Okay..."
by H.S. Willsy August 26, 2011
Get the UD Wooing mug.Apple fanboys who know everything about the company from the first line of code on the first Macintosh's operating system to the colour of the inner walls of Steve Job's small intestine
"OMG, I cannot, CANNOT, beliiiiiieve that you still don't have an iPod yet."
"I kind of like my mp3 player dude. I can carry a spare battery around with me in case it runs out and you can't do that with an iPod right?"
"OMG, OMG! Do you know anything about lithium-ion batteries or are you just trying to be cool? Apple bashing is so cool now right? Just get a fucking iPod and an iPhone like uuuuurverybody else."
"Look, iSpod, it's not cute anymore. I'm sick of you sticking your iPhone in my face and showing me some lame app that was seemingly designed by a twelve year old retarded kid. I'm sick of you holding up your iPad in the middle of town and shouting about how cool augmented reality is whilst running about like a fairy. And I'm sick of the sound leak from your shitty, white Apple brand head phones. So. Just. FUCK! OFF!!!!"
"OMG, like whatever."
*KILLS*
"I kind of like my mp3 player dude. I can carry a spare battery around with me in case it runs out and you can't do that with an iPod right?"
"OMG, OMG! Do you know anything about lithium-ion batteries or are you just trying to be cool? Apple bashing is so cool now right? Just get a fucking iPod and an iPhone like uuuuurverybody else."
"Look, iSpod, it's not cute anymore. I'm sick of you sticking your iPhone in my face and showing me some lame app that was seemingly designed by a twelve year old retarded kid. I'm sick of you holding up your iPad in the middle of town and shouting about how cool augmented reality is whilst running about like a fairy. And I'm sick of the sound leak from your shitty, white Apple brand head phones. So. Just. FUCK! OFF!!!!"
"OMG, like whatever."
*KILLS*
by H.S. Willsy August 27, 2011
Get the iSpod mug.When a person who has just recieved pay-off anal sex goes into the bathroom afterwards to freshen up, the noise that they produce as they sit down on the toilet and fart out depraviar is known as a quack echo.
"Whoa! You just hear that quack echo? Leanne must have got lucky!"
"Err, no, i'm in here," shouts Leanne from the kitchen.
"Fuck! It must have been Albert then! That sly old dog."
"Oh yeah, he loves it. And i've got a silencer anyway," explains Leanne, "so you wouldn't hear a quack echo of that magnitude from me."
"A silencer eh? I just do mine in the shower to drown out the noise."
"Classy."
"Oh yeah. Very."
"Err, no, i'm in here," shouts Leanne from the kitchen.
"Fuck! It must have been Albert then! That sly old dog."
"Oh yeah, he loves it. And i've got a silencer anyway," explains Leanne, "so you wouldn't hear a quack echo of that magnitude from me."
"A silencer eh? I just do mine in the shower to drown out the noise."
"Classy."
"Oh yeah. Very."
by H.S. Willsy August 25, 2011
Get the Quack Echo mug.