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h.s. willsy's definitions

UD Wooing

The act of using Urban Dictionary to impress the object of your desire by listing their first name with a definition that's somewhere along the lines of:

X is the most amazing girl in the world, she is really pretty and amazing and she was kind to an animal and when she smile it light up all of the world and she would make anyone fall in love with her because she is amazing and I am lucky to know her and I thank god every day for making such an amazing girl and hope please that she on love with me also.

Almost certainly doesn't get these dweebs the sex they think it will.
"Hey X, have a look at this what I have done for you."

"Err...are you UD wooing me you fucking mong?"

"...no?"

"Die. Die now. Kill yourself while I watch and eat these Doritos."

"Okay..."
by H.S. Willsy August 26, 2011
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Sand Crabbing

Sidling crab-like whilst simultaneously making a high pitched, "w00p w00p w00p w00p," noise.
"Did you see Zoidberg sand crabbing on Futurama last night?"

"No, I had to slay that dragon-witch didn't I."

"Dragon-witch?"

"It's a dragon with the powers of a witch. Or it was anyway. Now it's just 18 tonnes of value to premium grade dog food."
by H.S. Willsy August 27, 2011
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Funky Trap

A form of preversion. Involves inviting a group of foot fetishistists to a house in which shoes must be removed to gain entry. They'll all come assuming that they can sneak away at some point to have an illicit sniff of the shoes left by the door. However, what actually happens is you steal the shoes while they are in the other room and take them away for a horrible sniffing.
"Shoes?!? Where are the goddamn shoes?"

"You after the shoes too?"

"I was after the shoes, was everybody after the shoes?"

"Fuck! It's a funky trap!"

See preversions and prevert
by H.S. Willsy August 25, 2011
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Drunk Reset

A vomit that restores you to an earlier save point of soberness
"I don't feel too bad now but I don't remember anything between here and the club."

"Yeah, you hit the drunk reset on the way back."

"Oh, that's good."

"Not really dude, you were french kissing your girlfriend's brother when it happened."

"Yish, not again."
by H.S. Willsy August 23, 2011
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Kurt Cobrained

When someone gets wasted to the point that there brains are literally no longer in their skull, they are Kurt Cobrained.
"Ah, fuck! This kid on the sofa's Kurt Cobrained man!"

"What?"

"His brains are all external to his skull and shit!"

"Ahhh! Fuck! Put a lamp shade over his head or something!"

"Ahhh! Okay, there we go. Now what?"

"Now we warm these Pot Noodles up."
by H.S. Willsy August 26, 2011
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Geeks

A type of carnival freak known for eating live animals
"Remember that tattoo freak in the X-Files?"

"Err...oh yeah."

"What's the name of that type of carnival performer?"

"One that eats live animals?"

"Yeah, that kind."

"They're called geeks."

"Right, right. How fucking hot was Gillian Anderson in that series?"

"Yeah. Definitely yeah."
by H.S. Willsy August 25, 2011
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Robert Downey Juniored

When someone is wasted to the point that they are indiscriminately unloading their weapon on a busy street, they are Robert Downy Juniored
"The fuck's that noise?"

"It's this guy outside, he's Robert Downey Juniored!"

"It's Robert Downey Jr?" Ted asked, having misheard over the drunken gunfire. "I gotta go get his autograph!"

"No!" Billy screamed over the hail of gunfire that met his friend. "No!"
by H.S. Willsy August 26, 2011
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