h.s. willsy's definitions

Robert Downey Juniored

When someone is wasted to the point that they are indiscriminately unloading their weapon on a busy street, they are Robert Downy Juniored

"The fuck's that noise?"

"It's this guy outside, he's Robert Downey Juniored!"

"It's Robert Downey Jr?" Ted asked, having misheard over the drunken gunfire. "I gotta go get his autograph!"

"No!" Billy screamed over the hail of gunfire that met his friend. "No!"

by H.S. Willsy August 26, 2011

Shepherd's Delight

A form of preversion.

When a wily sheep dog catches a pervert breaking in and molesting its flock, it may decide to teach the offender a lesson by giving them a brutal doggy raping. The way they do this is by setting up a fake sheep with a mouse trap inside its fake anus. Obviously, the mouse trap catches the perv with his pants down leaving them open to a terrible raping. Which they then get. Doggy style.

"Come here sheepy. AAAAARRRGGGGHHHH!!!!"

"Woof."

"Oh no!!!! Shepherd's delight!"

See preversions and prevert.

by H.S. Willsy August 25, 2011

Shitemare

1) To find oneself in a public toilet that is lacking a door lock, a toilet seat or a loo roll

2) Any situation in which poo becomes a visible nuisance

1) "Aww man. there's no toilet paper up in this smelly joint. What a shitemare."

"I've got paper for you buddy, in return for a little something something that is."

"Ted? Is that you?"

"It was always me Bill, it was always me."

2) The Indian Commonwealth Games

by H.S. Willsy August 23, 2011

Radio Foured

When someone is completely sober and doing something dull whilst all their friend are out partying, they are radio foured.

"Where were you last night?"

"Radio foured."

"Doing what?"

"I had to go to my girlfriend's grandma's ninety fifth birthday party. What did you get up to?"

"We were snorting comedown-free drugs off naked porn stars for a bit and then we got kebabs."

*SIGHS*

by H.S. Willsy August 26, 2011

Anti-Fetus

People who are anti-fetus believe in the same rights as people who are pro-choice but for more sinister reasons

(For the English spelling see 'Anti-Foetus')

"So you're anti-fetus rather than pro-choice but we all agree that women have the right to choose right?"

"Kind of but really I just hate fetuses. Those things freak me out."

"They are ugly."

"Yeah, like a monkey with the AIDS or something."

by H.S. Willsy August 27, 2011

Fettlers

A Prestonian word for old men who exist as soon as the pubs are open. They're usually identifiable by their brown, slouched appearance and the musk of cheap tobacco and piss. They may surround themselves with a ring of empty pint glasses as if they were under siege from reality.

"Those fettlers are dying out."

"Yeah?"

"There’s not any less of them, dying out is just their style."

by H.S. Willsy August 25, 2011

Preversions

Preversions are acts commited by preverts, i.e. people who preempt the actions of perverts by doing to a pervert what a pervert would have done to them.

"So what preversions do we know of Inspector?"

"Well there's the reverse jackson, the funky trap, the shepherd's delight and the razorblade romance."

"Nasty stuff, nasty stuff."

"Yes. Beware of the prevert perverts, beware!"

by H.S. Willsy August 25, 2011