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Definitions by gnostic1

v. calculate without using actual statistics, facts, or reasoning; act in a Glen Beck-esque manner.
Check out the way Sarah Palin is beckoning in her speeches. I beckon she'll be president soon!

I beckon most NFL fans are overweight cheese doodlers.
beckon by gnostic1 May 10, 2011
n. small town in Alberta, Canada largely populated by the interbred offspring of hippies and American draft-dodgers who didn't hear about the amnesty. Furtively growing weed and selling each other badly-strung beaded necklaces are the major industries. Tourism has been in decline since 1897 when the three-headed calf died. In 1999 a death-punk band played a gig at the pool hall prompting the passage of a country music only bylaw. Gopher heads are accepted as currency by most shop owners and, for reasons lost in the mist of time, every resident must carry a live rooster.
I shot a few gophers on the weekend. Would you like to drive to Rimbey to pick up some necklaces?

No. Not really.
Rimbey by gnostic1 May 1, 2011

baby blanket 

n. the layer of excess new humanity threatening to consume the earth's resources.
All these people twinsing and tripleting are creating a baby blanket that will cover the earth in spit-up and used diapers.
baby blanket by gnostic1 April 27, 2011

cricket match 

n. incendiary device used to light a candle, lamp etc. during the late stages of cricket games, long after the sun has set, so the umpire, players, and any remaining spectators, can watch the "action".
Cor Blimey! If Master Perriwether can judiciously bend a googly to silly mid on for six during the next over, off their fading leg-spinner, we may not need a cricket match this eventide.

Rippingly astute observation my good fellow! "Tempus fugit," as my ruddy manservant used to say!
cricket match by gnostic1 April 22, 2011

concussion prone 

n. face down position of the senseless player's body after a severe hit to the head during a sporting event.
Wow! What a great series of bodychecks! A lot of the Manitoba Moose players are lying motionless in the goal crease!

Yeah, those Canadians are kind of concussion prone.
concussion prone by gnostic1 April 22, 2011

soiler alert 

n. secret notification, usually from one nurse to another, that a patient has been incontinent of feces or urine; a signal used by care staff who wish to avoid the clean-up or who wish to save the patient's dignity by removing visitors from the room.
This is a funny time for emergency blood work. And what the heck is a serum reiff-trenchel osmolality?

Don't be a dweeb doctor. That was just a soiler alert.
soiler alert by gnostic1 April 21, 2011

gadhafing 

v. overstaying ones welcome.
Is it safe to bring the girls over tonight or are your parents still gadhafing?

Better wait until next weekend dude. I may have to call for an air strike to get the wrinklies out of the house.
gadhafing by gnostic1 March 22, 2011