gnostic 1's definitions

tour de france

n. Any pursuit that seems pointless, needlessly difficult, lacking in spectator appeal, and corrupt.

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WE are going to bring a planeload of Canadians down to the casino for an ice-curling tournament.

Isn't that kind of a tour de france?

by gnostic 1 May 19, 2013

peleton

n. The collection of average riders in a bike race who are just phoning it in.

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Okay, the leaders have rushed by, are we going to wait for the peleton?

How much wine is left?

by gnostic 1 June 15, 2013

shoveling white

v. Clearing snow off the skatepark or, by extension, other surfaces such as sidewalks and stairways.

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Dude! It's blizzardy! Looks like we'll be shoveling white tomorrow.

"Blizzardy"? Do you ever speak proper English?

by gnostic 1 February 1, 2013

bourbon dictionary

n. Compedium of liquors and liquor-related knowledge.

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Dude! Can we mix corn mash and cactus juice and let them ferment together?

Can't see why not, but check on Bourbon Dictionary. We don't want no explosions.

by gnostic 1 April 26, 2013

five-hole

n. Ice hockey term for the space between the goalie's legs. Also a sexual euphemism.

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Hey Pierre. Stick it in the five-hole, eh!

by gnostic 1 July 18, 2012

olympic "athlete"

n. Any participant in an olympic event that obviously isn't a real sport, eg. ice-curling, luge, modern pentathalon. Often these people are smokers, out of shape, and Canadian.

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Hey! Hand me a Snickers bar! It's kind of boring out here on the curling rink. But at least I'm living the dream.

Here you go, eh, my olympic "athlete".

You didn't put air quotes around "athlete" did you?

by gnostic 1 July 21, 2012

harmageddon

n. Confrontation in which hurt, physical or psychological, of Biblical proportion is inflicted one's opponent. Often used in jest or in sporting circumstances.

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Yo! This weekend me and my crew are going to lay some harmageddon on you. You hear me? You will cry!

You know it's just a chess match, right?

Whatever dude. Just bring your tear-proof pawns.

by gnostic 1 October 2, 2013