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gf's definitions

pirate ahmed

a lad who is a true swine
there's pirate ahmed, being a swine again.
by GF April 6, 2005
mugGet the pirate ahmedmug.

Blarted

One of those rare unique phrases which has no physical meaning however when uttered everyone in the vacinity knows what you mean.

Used in conjuction with something going wrong for somebody, usually as a result of your mischievous doing. Can be used with similar words like shell.
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhh Blarted you beanhead!" yelled Shahzhad as Ahmed tripped over a stool on the floor. Unbeknown to Ahmed, Shahzad had planted this stool in a compromising juxtaposition with the door, a few minutes previously as he hear Ahmed marching forth from the great beyond. Then for no reason Shahzad said "Lung fainted over a lung" and chortled to himself and said blarted again a few more times.
by GF July 12, 2006
mugGet the Blartedmug.

oxford road

Oxford Road is a road in Manchester that joins directly to Wilmslow Road providing transport throughout the city and nobody knows exactly where Wilmslow Road ends and Oxford Road begins.

Fed up with rural life, Roy Wilmslow decided he would begin building a road to travel through to the lively city centre. At the same time Andrew Oxford decided he would also build a road from Manchester to Didsbury. Without knowledge of the others plans, they wer shocked as half way through making their roads the two roads joined and the pair could not reach a decision other than to name both sides of the road and have it as 1 road.

Oxford Road is known for its more industrialised part of the road with its universities and clubs and BBC offices.

The remaining Wilmslow family still reside in Didsbury and pride themselves of their heritage. Every now and then power mad family members try to campaign to get the entire road named as Wilmslow Road which have been unsuccesful to date.
by GF November 18, 2006
mugGet the oxford roadmug.

swear down

A statement made to signify that what you speak is 100% the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. Usually used when someone doesn't believe what you say, as it is bullshit, but this is used to try and make that person believe its true as its probably not.

What it actually means may derive from the old saying of "I swear on my mum's life!" which means absolutely nothing but some people think if that statement is said that they can't be lying.
"I swear down your honour, i didn't do it"

Nick: Did you know that Ahmed got arrested last night?
Keane: No he didn't.
Nick: Yeah man, swear down.
by GF November 30, 2006
mugGet the swear downmug.

3 second rule

The nationally acknowledged time in which after leaving a seat unoccupied it is then acceptable for people to take your seat, usually in a pub or somewhere which has a variety of good chairs and bad chairs. Any attempt to do so before this is an illegal move and that person will have to leave the seat. Although this rule is acceptable amongst your group you are sat with, any attempt to utilise this rule with strangers is not seen as a good idea.
Ahmed "What you doin lad? That is my seat."
Swann "3 second rule. You were at the bar for 5 minutes."
Ahmed "Ah fair play mate. I'll just sit here instead then."
by GF May 21, 2006
mugGet the 3 second rulemug.

don't touch what you can't afford

What was once the ultimate put down. The strongest diss you could say to somebody who was annoying you by being physical with something you own.

Starting off with expensive things that other poor kids couldn't afford, this was a snobbish insult used by richer kids who had the flashest new gear and one of the poorer kids wanted to touch it as they could never afford somethign so extravagent. This was in fear of the poorer kids leaving germs or nits on the item leaving the richer kid fucked later on. This would put them in their place and the poor kids would know their place in society.

However, things started to get a bit out of hand circa 1997. The diss spread wildly across Britain's schools and soonn became used in day to day conversations heard in the playground; the cheaper the tackier the item the better the insult. It was a witty way of saaying "you're so poor that..." but without having to use the brainpower to think of an item and and it would leave people hurt inside.

Soon enough people found a way of responding to this comment which was to get your wallet out and show you have enough money to indeed afford the item, thus making the person who used it look silly and make their point completely void. Soon after this was discovered people stopped using it, and thus sending a classic diss to the history books along with "your mum gives head for bread" and other such insults.
Person 1 "Hey, Let me have a look at that pen."
Person 2 "Oi, don't touch what you can't afford!"
Person 1 "Damn...you didn't have to go there."
by GF February 18, 2007
mugGet the don't touch what you can't affordmug.

Touch

The universailly known hand gesture for scallies. It involves the outstretching of the arm in the form of a fist and tapping somebody else on their fist as they do this also. If received back it is used as a gesture of respect or as a greeting or a way of saying goodbye. Sometimes if the other person is a dick then you can smash their fist as hard as you can with yours, ensuring they won't try and give you the touch again in the near future.
"Safe man....Touch?"
*outsretches fist*
"Ahhh fuck! That fuckin hurts!"
by GF October 9, 2006
mugGet the Touchmug.

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