geekmalone's definitions

The High School Vanity Continuation Industry

The industry of service providers that allow adults to continue their vain high school lifestyles into adulthood.

Facebook and Twitter are two of the biggest companies in The High School Vanity Continuation Industry. Who would have ever thought that a billion people wanted to continue high school bullshit into adulthood?

by geekmalone May 5, 2020

Does anyone have any questions?

I am a soulless corporate fuckwad.

Whenever you hear "Does anyone have any questions?" after a long speech of zero value; you know you're dealing with a soulless corporate fuckwad.

by geekmalone November 5, 2020

smug idiots

People who have become somewhat wealthy due to inheritance or luck; and who are also certain that they are above others, even though they are dumb as fuck.

Every city has its share of smug idiots. They're so fucking proud of themselves. But on closer inspection, you'll see that they're as empty as the post modern bullshit lofts that they live in.

by geekmalone August 16, 2020

THE PLAN

Term coined by Rudy Giuliani to refer to the coordinated effort to steal Donald Trump's victory in the November 3rd 2020 Presidential election.

THE PLAN was the brainchild of Warren Buffet when he exclaimed at a meeting of the DICS (Dem Inner Circle Society) in November 2010 "We can't let these stupid peasants choose their leaders anymore!". All of the other DICS members (Zucky, Bezos, Gates, Dorsey, and Brennan) immediately agreed and the creation of THE PLAN began. Many components of THE PLAN were easy: The cooperation of the county voting boards, the compliance of the main stream media, and the bribing of Judges who might preside over any legal challenges. But some components of THE PLAN were not easy: The acceptance of the Dominion voting system in 13 states, the simultaneous stopping of the vote counting in six states, and the payoffs of members of the Conservative media. As time went by, THE PLAN grew in complexity. In 2016, the DICS tested THE PLAN in Orange County, California. This test was highly successful. Then in 2018, THE PLAN was tested on the entire state of Virginia, also very successful. In 2020, THE PLAN was implemented nationwide to steal the election from Donald Trump. Most of THE PLAN was successful, but there were some glitches, including: The complete dumping of Fox News by Conservatives when Fox hosts sided against Trump, numerous tattle-tale voting board employees who spilled the beans about THE PLAN to Trump's lawyers, and Donald Trump's incredible tenacity. Only time will tell if THE PLAN will be successful in 2020, but its chances of succeeding decrease as more Americans learn about it.

by geekmalone November 19, 2020

fuck up my narrative

To deliver facts that hurt my comfortable little bubble of idiocy.

Mike: I wish Republicans had at least the minimal level of respect for women and people of color...
Jen: Republicans picked up 10 seats in the House in the 2020 election. Most were women and people of color.
Mike: Don't fuck up my narrative!

by geekmalone December 4, 2020

3D Colored Cubes

Catch-all term for all of the nonsensical bullshit spewed by business consultants and middle managers.

Speaker: As you can see from this diagram, an exponential ROI can be realized from our rapid adoption of this strategy.
Me: Fuck me. More 3D Colored Cubes from the boneheads downtown.

by geekmalone August 18, 2020

badigity

The little items that come along with the product you bought such as little cables, brushes, cords, adapters etc. You're not sure if you will need them later, so you keep them along with the box that the product came in. But you never use them. Badigity grows over time and can become dangerous if not controlled.

The Johnson household suffered from a severe case of badigity. Eventually a professional had to be called in to address the problem.

by geekmalone August 2, 2020