frank klaune's definitions

Blatz splatz

This phrase, related in part to the "blat" (see "blat"), describes the logical aftermath of drinking too much Blatz beer. If one drinks far too much Blatz, the next morning's activities are dominated by the "Blatz splatz" in which bodily fluids are emitted from various orifices in a semi-involuntary spasm. This term is obviously only used in those areas of the country where "Blatz" beer is found. For additional information see "hershey squirts" and "the shits".

Man, Frank brought a few cases of Blatz to the stag party. Damn, the next day let me tell you, I had the Blatz splatz big time!

by Frank Klaune November 21, 2004

glued

Yet another term designating a high level of inebriation (drunkenness).

"Damn, after drinking that fifth with Grotee, Frank was really glued!"

by Frank Klaune March 15, 2004

squirts, the

Excessively moist excrement which causes occasional accidental releases of liquid shit in your shorts. Commonly called the "Hershey Squirts", "the shits" or "the trots", "the squirts" are marked by the perceived need to pass a fart, and while attempting to fart, shitting one's drawers.

"I ate that damn crap they served up, and it was so greasy, that now I've got the squirts all night long."

by Frank Klaune March 6, 2004

walking waste of sperm

The ultimate insult. Reserved for only the most hateful, stupid, obnoxious or contemptible people known.

That islamic suicide bomber killed several innocent people. What a walking waste of sperm he was.

by Frank Klaune January 26, 2005

dickstick

In nominal terms, a dickstick is another term for a dildo. By extrapolation, "dickstick" is a Tomism (see Tomism) and used as a mild insult to one's intelligence. Useable as a substitute for "dipshit", "dickstick" usually indicates one's displeasure of another person's actions.

P1: "Hey, Tom look. Frank just took the last piece of pizza."

T: "Oh, that dickstick! I didn't even get to eat any!"

by Frank Klaune March 15, 2004

jim jam

Code-word euphemism for semen. Combination of "jim" (black slang for "penis") and jam (obvious implication). Often used in polite conversation to add a subtle, humorous sexual reference to a sexual act.

"Frank might be a bit late for dinner. He had to change his pants since he spilled some jim jam on them."

by Frank Klaune March 7, 2004

snorgasm

Frat-house term for an unsatisfactory orgasm. The term is often used to describe a relatively disappointing ejaculation (cum shot) in a pornographic movie.

Man, Frank bought that French porn movie and we thought it was going to be real cool, but in the end, it was nothing but a snorgasm.

by Frank Klaune March 5, 2004