frank klaune's definitions

test fart

When you are in a social / public situation and have the urge to pass a considerable amount of gas. If it has been a long time since your last fart, you are unsure of:

1) The sound level (volume) of the fart
2) The smell level (stench) of the fart

... so you let out a small amount of the fart in a discreet fashion- thus you have let a test fart.

Frank was in church the other day and had to fart really bad. He said he intended to let a test fart but instead of a squibbler, it turned out to be a blastus and he wound up shitting his pants in the middle of the sermon. Damn, what an idiot!

by Frank Klaune April 14, 2005

dial tone

To hit or smack another with unmerciful velocity. Often used in the context of a sports game, it indicates a severe body blow. See ring the bell.

Damn, when Frank flipped off the other driver, the guy jumped out of his car and dial toned him right then and there.

by Frank Klaune March 29, 2005

funnel cake

To use your dong as the \"funnel\", your baby gravy as the \"cake batter\" and some hot chick\'s stomach area (near her belly button) as the frier. If you\'ve ever watched or made a funnel cake, it is now abundantly clear.

Damn! Frank was so worried about knocking up his girlfriend he pulled out and made a funnel cake!

by Frank Klaune April 26, 2005

geemer

A cross between "Geek" and "Gomer" (as in "Gomer Pyle", the bumbling army private from the television series of the same name). The term "geemer" was popularized by A.J. "Vakodak" and was also used as a term for the once famous international tennis star, Guiliermo ("Geemer") Vilas.

"Look at that guy with the pocket protector and the highwater pants. God, what a geemer!"

by Frank Klaune March 5, 2004

jackin' the beanstalk

One of many euphemisms for "masturbation" (e.g. slappin' the salami, jack off, beat off, buffing the bishop, glean the obscene bean, choking the chicken, spanking the monkey, waxing the wonker, greasing the guppy, shooting putty at the moon, and Rosie Palmer and her Five Sisters doing the Four Knuckle Shuffle.

Frank will be a little bit late. He's still back at his house jackin' the beanstalk.

by Frank Klaune January 24, 2005

click it and stick it

A phrase used by many American right-thinking, freedom-loving people who are keenly aware of the continual erosion of civil rights, privacy and disintigration of Constitutional liberties brought on by whiney, liberal nanny-state do-gooders who think big government is needed to protect individuals from themselves.

I was riding in Frank's car, napping in the passenger seat when the cop pulled us over. I got ticketed for not wearing my seat belt. Seat belt, my ass... it's now an oppression belt! I say CLICK IT AND STICK IT!

by Frank Klaune November 21, 2004

palm balm

Euphemism for any substance (usually hand lotion, soap, KY jelly, etc.) used as lubricant to facilitate male masturbation activity.

Man, Franq was so drunk the other night. He got home and didn't know what he was doing so he used Easy Off for palm balm. Now he has a rash on his dick. That Franq is an idiot.

by Frank Klaune November 11, 2004