frank klaune's definitions

sprog

v. Synonyms: cum, ejaculate, blow gravy, spoo.

Damn, Frank has a porn tape where a guy sprogs in some chicks nose like a Vicks nasal inhaler.

by Frank Klaune May 2, 2005

click it and stick it

A phrase used by many American right-thinking, freedom-loving people who are keenly aware of the continual erosion of civil rights, privacy and disintigration of Constitutional liberties brought on by whiney, liberal nanny-state do-gooders who think big government is needed to protect individuals from themselves.

I was riding in Frank's car, napping in the passenger seat when the cop pulled us over. I got ticketed for not wearing my seat belt. Seat belt, my ass... it's now an oppression belt! I say CLICK IT AND STICK IT!

by Frank Klaune November 21, 2004

jackin' the beanstalk

One of many euphemisms for "masturbation" (e.g. slappin' the salami, jack off, beat off, buffing the bishop, glean the obscene bean, choking the chicken, spanking the monkey, waxing the wonker, greasing the guppy, shooting putty at the moon, and Rosie Palmer and her Five Sisters doing the Four Knuckle Shuffle.

Frank will be a little bit late. He's still back at his house jackin' the beanstalk.

by Frank Klaune January 24, 2005

mazupas

My favorite term for the female breasts, also known as chesticles, boobies, cans, jugs, headlights, titties and rack.

"Damn, check out the mazupas on our waitress tonight!"

by Frank Klaune March 15, 2004

silly putty

A euphemism for merconium. Immediately after a baby is born, the first few shits he makes is full of merconium which is nearly like messy, nasty, sticky, gooey tar. Thus, "silly putty".

When Frank opened the diaper, silly putty leaked out on his shirt. Yuck!

by Frank Klaune January 24, 2005

barney

A small-town, provincial putz of a policeman. The name represents "Barney Fife", the bumbling, inept deputy sherfiff from the "Andy Griffith Show." The typical small-town Barney is a doughnut-chomping fat bastard whose only purpose is to write as many speeding tickets and seat belt "safety" violations to out-of-town licence plated cars as humanly possible. This daily pattern continues until the barney has padded his resume sufficiently to move on to a real job far from the provincial putzville which was his first job for a couple of years. The outrageous pattern of excessive ticket-writing also works in the favor of the inbred, corrupt, fuck-headed town officials who reap an obscene profit from the fine largesse. This, in turn, self justifies the continuance of the salary for the Barney. This pattern is particularly effective in towns which are so ridiculously quiet and small that an actual "law enforcement officer" has no substantive reason to be on the public payroll. The next time you are pulled over in some backward Hooterville for driving 4 MPH over the posted limit, remember where your fine money is going.

Damn, Frank was only going 27 in the 25 zone but the Barney pulled him over anyway!

by Frank Klaune April 25, 2005

glued

Yet another term designating a high level of inebriation (drunkenness).

"Damn, after drinking that fifth with Grotee, Frank was really glued!"

by Frank Klaune March 15, 2004