frank klaune's definitions

prostate pudding

Euphemism for cum, jizz, spoo, goo, baby gravy, white delight, slop, spunk, or sperm.

Jane's parents were alarmed when they found Jimmy's prostate pudding on her dress.

by Frank Klaune January 20, 2005

penito

The smallest designation of penis size / length. Similar to the "schlort", the penito represents a laughably short size of the male anatomy.

"When she got his pants off, she laughed out loud at his small penito."

by Frank Klaune March 5, 2004

derelict

A foolish person. Can be interchangeable with "idiot", "moron", "dillweed" or any similar term. Widespread use of "derelict" in this sense is due chiefly to it's status as a tomism (see "tomism")

P1: "Who the hell dumped this load of manure on the front porch?"

P2: "Frank just dropped it there this morning."

P1: "Oh that son of a bastage! That derelict!"

by Frank Klaune July 12, 2006

fuckin' suck it

Phrase used in an extremely, utterly exasperating moment when no other execration will do. The phrase is best appreciated with one's temper at full steam, red in the face and at least one hand balled up in a fist, banging on something.

Chris was driving along 53rd, minding his own business when some dumbass in a pickup swerved out of the Convenience Store, blatantly cutting him off. When Chris hit the horn, the dumbass flipped him off. When they got to the intersection, Chris was red in the face and, with one hand banging on the steering wheel, he gestured "the bird" back at the dumbass while yelling, "FUCKIN' SUCK IT!"

by Frank Klaune April 22, 2005

Lett

The second smallest category in the scientific measurement of farts. Usually involuntarily released, the lett ranks between the SBD and a squibbler.

"Frank bent over to change the tire and a lett squeaked out."

by Frank Klaune March 5, 2004

urf

Euphemism for the vomit. "Urf" is useable as a noun or verb and is directly synonymous with "ralph". Urf is a much more useful word as it best approximates the wretched sound of a person who is delivering street pizza by inverting their tummy.

Man, Frank was so screwed up on bourbon last night he stepped outside to urf. In the morning the neighbors smelled something nasty and saw the urf in the bird bath.

by Frank Klaune November 24, 2004

first cut them off then flip them off

The phrase is used as advice for impatient drivers (usually impatient, incompetant yuppy sorts in overly expensive cars) who hesitate when a much slower car approaches the intersection (usually driven by an old fart with a handicapped sign on the mirror). If the yuppy waits, he will inevitably be trapped behind the slow old fart for a long time. Thus the advice, "first cut them off, then flip them off" intended to not only offend the other driver by cutting them off, but also to infuriate them by giving them "the bird" immediately thereafter. A totally un-called-for move which is very hilarious, it is also summed up by the phrase, "those who hesitate, wait". Either phrase perhaps best summarizes the attitude of extreme, offensive driving- skills not taught in your average Driver's Ed Class.

"Frank slowed down at the intersection, but when he saw that handicapped sign on the approaching car in the cross traffic, he gunned it without stopping. As the tires squealed around the corner, he rolled the window down and flipped off the cross traffic. I asked him what the hell he was doing and he replied, "first cut them off, then flip them off". Man, Frank is an asshole!"

by Frank Klaune November 11, 2004