frank klaune's definitions

spray paint

The forceful, sometimes violent expulsion of liquid shit into the toilet at high velocity. The "spray paint" term relates to the viewing of the underside of the toilet seat and the general condition of the toilet bowl which is usually well sprayed with dumpage.

"Man, I had such a gut cramp, I ran to the bathroom and let go with spray paint. Damn, it's a good thing we're at Frank's house. I wouldn't want to clean that up at my house."

by Frank Klaune March 6, 2004

ahs-wee-pay

Less commonly as of late, it is the phonetic, literal pronounciation of "asswipe" (said usually with a fake foreign accent). The term is used as a direct replacement for "asswipe" just with the foreign-sounding pronounciation for any of a number of stupid reasons.

"Hey ahs-wee-payyyy... wot's up mon?"

by Frank Klaune March 6, 2004

Bop the Top and Drop the Slop

"Masturbate and ejaculate." Humorous reference to male masturbation (and it's messy aftermath).

Man, no wonder Jimmy took so long in the shithouse. He had to bop the top and drop the slop.

by Frank Klaune May 28, 2004

shatman

The highly-underrated, sadly misunderstood, less-well-known stand-in for the popular super-hero, Batman. Shatman, dressed in a toilet tissue cape was conspicuous by the plunger hanging from his utility belt, and led his civilian life as an innocuous, janitor with tourettes syndrome, horn rimmed glasses and voyeuristic tendencies named "Floyd Furpkin". The writers for the comic series used weak plots and suggestive themes and the general public was not amused with such episodes as "exploding toilet mayhem" and "exlax world submission" and thus the series was cancelled in it's first season, relegating Shatman sadly to a lifetime of widely acclaimed obscurity.

SHATMANNNN... da-da-da-da-da-da-da... SHATMANNN... da-da-da-da-da-da-da... SHATMANNN!

by Frank Klaune November 30, 2003

dial tone

To hit or smack another with unmerciful velocity. Often used in the context of a sports game, it indicates a severe body blow. See ring the bell.

Damn, when Frank flipped off the other driver, the guy jumped out of his car and dial toned him right then and there.

by Frank Klaune March 29, 2005

squirt the dirt

The act of relieving one's self (urinating) outside. Typically the term is used by truck drivers and travelers who have driven many miles (without a truck stop or rest area) and- needing to piss, they pull over to a side road to "squirt the dirt".

Damn, Frank bought that big-ass 200 ounce bladder buster at the truck stop and the next thing you know, we have to pull over to squirt the dirt.

by Frank Klaune February 2, 2005

barn drop

An unusual athletic maneuver used for excretion. The "barn dropper" shimmies up the stall wall in a public restroom with a high ceiling. With one foot on top of each side wall and the pants dropped, the barn dropper lets go with the dump. A successful barn drop results in the target (the toilet) sucessfully hit. The barn drop is a common tactic in men's dormitories and frat houses across the USA and often done in the presence of a large, loud drunken crown of well wishers and spectators.

"Damn, the other night we got back to the frat. I heard all this commotion, and there was a huge crowd at the party chanting while Jack was doing a barn drop. He missed the target. The janitor resigned the next day."

by Frank Klaune March 7, 2004