frank klaune's definitions

Harry Palmer

The protagonist of K.J. Rowling's book. This ignorant teenage zitfaced twit received international acclaim for his masturbatory tendencies.

Man, did you read Rowling's latest Harry Palmer book?

by Frank Klaune November 13, 2004

dial tone

To hit or smack another with unmerciful velocity. Often used in the context of a sports game, it indicates a severe body blow. See ring the bell.

Damn, when Frank flipped off the other driver, the guy jumped out of his car and dial toned him right then and there.

by Frank Klaune March 29, 2005

shatman

The highly-underrated, sadly misunderstood, less-well-known stand-in for the popular super-hero, Batman. Shatman, dressed in a toilet tissue cape was conspicuous by the plunger hanging from his utility belt, and led his civilian life as an innocuous, janitor with tourettes syndrome, horn rimmed glasses and voyeuristic tendencies named "Floyd Furpkin". The writers for the comic series used weak plots and suggestive themes and the general public was not amused with such episodes as "exploding toilet mayhem" and "exlax world submission" and thus the series was cancelled in it's first season, relegating Shatman sadly to a lifetime of widely acclaimed obscurity.

SHATMANNNN... da-da-da-da-da-da-da... SHATMANNN... da-da-da-da-da-da-da... SHATMANNN!

by Frank Klaune November 30, 2003

scratch the patch

Literally, for one to "scratch where it itches", in particular to scratch the genital area. Often seen as a sign of some disgusting disease or STD.

Man, Frank was picking up that chick in the bar, but when he saw her scratch the patch, he flipped her off and left. I think he figured she had VD or crabs or something.

by Frank Klaune November 13, 2004

Bop the Top and Drop the Slop

"Masturbate and ejaculate." Humorous reference to male masturbation (and it's messy aftermath).

Man, no wonder Jimmy took so long in the shithouse. He had to bop the top and drop the slop.

by Frank Klaune May 28, 2004

butt rust

The off-brown discoloration inside the undershorts. Butt rust, also known as "skid mark" is usually the result of high pressure farting and / or lack of sufficient wiping of the anus.

"Damn, Frank sure has butt rust on his undies here."

by Frank Klaune March 5, 2004

squirt the dirt

The act of relieving one's self (urinating) outside. Typically the term is used by truck drivers and travelers who have driven many miles (without a truck stop or rest area) and- needing to piss, they pull over to a side road to "squirt the dirt".

Damn, Frank bought that big-ass 200 ounce bladder buster at the truck stop and the next thing you know, we have to pull over to squirt the dirt.

by Frank Klaune February 2, 2005