frank klaune's definitions

transatlantic cable

Humorous reference to shitting in the lavatory on an airplane which is en-route across the Atlantic ocean.

About two hours after leaving JFK airport, Frank got out of his seat and shitted in the lav. He said he was going to lay some transatlantic cable.

by Frank Klaune April 14, 2005

double barreled slingshot

Humorous reference to a brassiere.

Damn, Frank shagged some fat chick from the party. He almost got away with it, but his folks found her double barreled slingshot under the couch.

by Frank Klaune March 29, 2005

urinal anxiety

An affliction of males characterized by unusual behaviours in the men's room. Urinal anxiety is manifest in the actions of a man who walks into the men's room and heads directly toward the urinals, but -upon seeing another man already standing at a nearby urinal- immediately changes course for the stalls. Urinal anxiety afflicts a substantial number of males who have a phobia about pissing in a location where another male might notice their schlong (as if other males would have an interest in someone else's schlong...). The most extreme form of urinal anxiety is usually seen in locations using the old "trough" urinals often placed in ball park restrooms. The afflicted male approaches the other happy, piss-spattering companions, pulls his dick out, and... and... and... (after a long delay) zips his dick back up, unable to urinate, and shame-facedly departs the restroom unsatisfied.

Damn, Frank never uses the urinals. The other day he went into the women's room at the ball park to avoid the trough. I think he's gripped by urinal anxiety.

by Frank Klaune February 20, 2005

skunk piss

Any low quality, generic, substandard, crappy tasting, lousy beer or booze.

Frank threw a party last weekend. It was a good time except for the skunk piss the bartender was serving. I got all pissed up at the party and got even with him. First I did an upper deck in his john, then I did a Cleveland Rewind and on my way out, I did a technicolor yawn on his living room floor. Frank is such an idiot!

by Frank Klaune June 24, 2006

blastus

Aside from being the name of a biblical character, "blastus" is another term designating a type of fart. A very large amount of intestinal gas is expelled at considerable force. As the flattus is violently expelled through the anus, the high amplitude oscillation of the sphincter results in a great, explosive, low tone of frightful volume. The term may also be applied as a proper noun as necessary.

Grotee let loose (with a "blastus") and it shook the walls. That's why they call him Blastus.

by Frank Klaune October 18, 2004

fucknob

1) A contemptible person of low intelligence.
2) A term of endearment for a person who has just done you wrong.
3) Relating a contemptible person to a sexual device in such a way as to equate such low intelligence with an inanimate object of gratification (i.e. a head with no brains).

"Oh you fucknob! You just ran into my car!"

"That Frank... he's one colossal fucknob!"

by Frank Klaune November 5, 2003

nut rot

Term pertaining to the deleterious effect of the sweat from your nut sack upon surrounding tissue and material. Nut rot causes your underwear to prematurely fail in the crotch area immediately beside where your sack rides. Nut rot becomes visible as a tan or brown stain in the area where your crotch is on the inside of the underwear. Next, the seam and the stretchy elastic gives way and eventually the entire crotch area of the underwear gives out and your nuts hang out from beneath your underwear in the area where the underwear material used to be. Nut rot also affects the skin of the crotch in cases where a person uses poor hygiene and / or lack of bathing or showering. See crotch rot.

Damn, when Frank was on the campout, his nards hung out of his skivvies. He must have major nut rot in his tighty whities.

by Frank Klaune April 22, 2005