frank klaune's definitions

walking waste of sperm

The ultimate insult. Reserved for only the most hateful, stupid, obnoxious or contemptible people known.

That islamic suicide bomber killed several innocent people. What a walking waste of sperm he was.

by Frank Klaune January 26, 2005

dickstick

In nominal terms, a dickstick is another term for a dildo. By extrapolation, "dickstick" is a Tomism (see Tomism) and used as a mild insult to one's intelligence. Useable as a substitute for "dipshit", "dickstick" usually indicates one's displeasure of another person's actions.

P1: "Hey, Tom look. Frank just took the last piece of pizza."

T: "Oh, that dickstick! I didn't even get to eat any!"

by Frank Klaune March 15, 2004

clipped dick

1) A male with a circumcised schlong (putz).

2) The actual dong itself with it's "permanent haircut".

3) By extension, the term has also been used to describe entire groups of people who practice circumcision for religious, cultural or other reasons. "Clipped dick" has been noticeably applied as slang for Jewish people.

There goes Frank. He's got a clipped dick.

There goes Frank. He's a clipped dick.

by Frank Klaune January 2, 2005

Cleveland Rewind

An extremely sick, disgusting joke which is occasionally done in frat houses, public toilets or the home of your enemy. The "Cleveland Rewind" consists of un-hinging a toilet paper roll from it's holder, pull out a considerable portion of the paper, and very carefully wipe one's ass on the portion in the middle, then "rewinding " the roll back, and replacing it into the dispenser. Thus, a subsequent patron gets shit on their fingers. The "Cleveland Rewind" supposedly gets its name from the equally disgusting "Cleveland Steamer" term.

Man, some asshole did a Cleveland Rewind on me and I got a handful when I was trying to wipe!

by Frank Klaune November 20, 2004

Polish fly swatter

The spash screen placed in the bottom of a urinal to stop spattering pissors from getting ocean spray on their trousers. The Polish fly swatter often is embedded with a urinal cake or scented sustance to enable you to spend many hours of enchanting sniffing in such a delightful environment.

Damn, what the hell? Some sick bastard stuck a Polish fly swatter in my gym bag last night!

by Frank Klaune February 20, 2005

über moron

One of many possible fun uses of the über prefix. An über moron represents the pinnacle of pea-brain, the apex of asshole and the depth of dipshit. An über moron embodies the highest (or is that the lowest) level of stupid, home-grown, industrial strentgh, heavy duty idiocy.

Damn, we just convinced Frank that he grew up on a mayonnaise farm. Now he's looking it up online. Man, he's such an über moron!

by Frank Klaune March 21, 2005

Tomism

General term pertaining to any of a wide number of comical vulgarities, invented insults and mismangulated obscenities and curses made famous by a certain Tom K. (last name omitted)

"Oh, you MOTHER!"
"You FUCKNOB!"
(insert name) "...has an I.Q. of a peanut butter sandwich"
"sons-of-bastages"
"Cancel Christmas forever"
"butt buddy bubba with the burlap balls"
"rump ridin' ridge runner"

by Frank Klaune November 6, 2003