frank klaune's definitions

liquid thunder

Low viscosity excrement. The term "liquid thunder" is mainly used when describing loud, nasty shitting done by small babies.

Damn, Frank handed me the baby but just as soon as he did that I noticed there was liquid thunder running down the kid's leg.

by Frank Klaune January 21, 2005

palm balm

Euphemism for any substance (usually hand lotion, soap, KY jelly, etc.) used as lubricant to facilitate male masturbation activity.

Man, Franq was so drunk the other night. He got home and didn't know what he was doing so he used Easy Off for palm balm. Now he has a rash on his dick. That Franq is an idiot.

by Frank Klaune November 11, 2004

squirts, the

Excessively moist excrement which causes occasional accidental releases of liquid shit in your shorts. Commonly called the "Hershey Squirts", "the shits" or "the trots", "the squirts" are marked by the perceived need to pass a fart, and while attempting to fart, shitting one's drawers.

"I ate that damn crap they served up, and it was so greasy, that now I've got the squirts all night long."

by Frank Klaune March 6, 2004

jim jam

Code-word euphemism for semen. Combination of "jim" (black slang for "penis") and jam (obvious implication). Often used in polite conversation to add a subtle, humorous sexual reference to a sexual act.

"Frank might be a bit late for dinner. He had to change his pants since he spilled some jim jam on them."

by Frank Klaune March 7, 2004

SuperSlap

A difficult maneuver in which one person repeatedly slaps the face of another in a furiously rapid pace. Usually done so quickly that the hand is almost a blur.

"Frank just superslapped the dumbass who insulted him."

by Frank Klaune November 6, 2003

Tomism

General term pertaining to any of a wide number of comical vulgarities, invented insults and mismangulated obscenities and curses made famous by a certain Tom K. (last name omitted)

"Oh, you MOTHER!"
"You FUCKNOB!"
(insert name) "...has an I.Q. of a peanut butter sandwich"
"sons-of-bastages"
"Cancel Christmas forever"
"butt buddy bubba with the burlap balls"
"rump ridin' ridge runner"

by Frank Klaune November 6, 2003

longshot

Contest similar to "silly swords" or "pissing contest" where two (or more) males stand behind a straight line and urinate as hard as they can. The winner of "longshot" is the one who is able to piss the farthest.

"Mike and Frank were in the back yard playing longshot. Mike won, but I think he shit his pants straining."

by Frank Klaune March 6, 2004