frank klaune's definitions

oh you MOTHER

By far and beyond, the most commonly used Tomism (see "Tomism"). The phrase has it's origins when Tom was using his very last respirator mask while baling hay and took it off for lunch break. Chris quietly put a lump of horse shit in the middle of the mask. When Tom got up to put it back on, he stared at it for a few seconds, his face got red and he did a slow motion turn to Chris saying, "OHHHH... you MOTHER!!!" Since this event, it has become his signature phrase.

After saying, "OH you MOTHER", he proceeded to chase Chris around the barn, tackle him and perform Malaysian Chest Implosion Torture on him for revenge.

by Frank Klaune November 24, 2004

electric slide

When a dog (or any animal or even an unruly spouse) has an itchy anus and proceeds to drag it on the ground to soothe the burning anal itch. Typically a dog will sit down, pull the hind legs up in the air and use the frong legs to propel across the floor.

Damn, Frank had the minister and his wife over at their house, and while they were having tea in the living room, Zippy sat right in front of them and did the electric slide. How embarassing!

by Frank Klaune March 29, 2005

zipped up

One of many terms indicating a high level of inebriation (drunkenness). The reference is usually done by referring to someone (or yourself) as being "all zipped up."

"Damn, I can't remember what we did last night, 'cuz I was all zipped up!"

by Frank Klaune March 15, 2004

chappies

An irritated or inflamed anal area. "The chappies" is a condition somewhat like hemorrhoids but on a more temporary basis. Chappies are usually caused by excessive ass wiping due to having the shits or by excessive moist farts causing a sore, irritated anal region.

"Damn, Frank's food was so greasy I had the shits all day. Now I've got the chappies so bad I can hardly sit down!"

by Frank Klaune March 6, 2004

gourd

Slang for the head (the one that rides on your shoulders, that is). See noggin.

Damn, Frank survived that car accident, but he really banged up his gourd.

by Frank Klaune March 29, 2005

take a shit

Aside from the relatively obvious use of the phrase (to designate defecation), "take a shit" as a phrase can apply to mechanical devices. An apparatus which wears out or breaks down at a very inconvenient time can be said to "take a shit".

"I told Frank to fix those worn lifters on his car engine but he didn't listen to me. Then when he went on vacation he was crossing the rockies when it took a shit on him. It ruined his vacation."

by Frank Klaune March 6, 2004

power shit

n. The forceful, violent, sudden expulsion of a considerable amount of fecal matter. "Power shit" generally (but not exclusively) relates to diahhroea. Upon taking a power shit, spray paint is often the outcome.

Damn, Frank had a huge gut cramp so he snuck into his neighbor's yard, went into their RV and took a major power shit. I think he was afraid to make the mess at home. It took his neighbor an hour or more to clean up the spray paint.

by Frank Klaune April 16, 2005