frank klaune's definitions

electric slide

When a dog (or any animal or even an unruly spouse) has an itchy anus and proceeds to drag it on the ground to soothe the burning anal itch. Typically a dog will sit down, pull the hind legs up in the air and use the frong legs to propel across the floor.

Damn, Frank had the minister and his wife over at their house, and while they were having tea in the living room, Zippy sat right in front of them and did the electric slide. How embarassing!

by Frank Klaune March 29, 2005

zipped up

One of many terms indicating a high level of inebriation (drunkenness). The reference is usually done by referring to someone (or yourself) as being "all zipped up."

"Damn, I can't remember what we did last night, 'cuz I was all zipped up!"

by Frank Klaune March 15, 2004

take a shit

Aside from the relatively obvious use of the phrase (to designate defecation), "take a shit" as a phrase can apply to mechanical devices. An apparatus which wears out or breaks down at a very inconvenient time can be said to "take a shit".

"I told Frank to fix those worn lifters on his car engine but he didn't listen to me. Then when he went on vacation he was crossing the rockies when it took a shit on him. It ruined his vacation."

by Frank Klaune March 6, 2004

longshot

Contest similar to "silly swords" or "pissing contest" where two (or more) males stand behind a straight line and urinate as hard as they can. The winner of "longshot" is the one who is able to piss the farthest.

"Mike and Frank were in the back yard playing longshot. Mike won, but I think he shit his pants straining."

by Frank Klaune March 6, 2004

liquid thunder

Low viscosity excrement. The term "liquid thunder" is mainly used when describing loud, nasty shitting done by small babies.

Damn, Frank handed me the baby but just as soon as he did that I noticed there was liquid thunder running down the kid's leg.

by Frank Klaune January 21, 2005

Tomism

General term pertaining to any of a wide number of comical vulgarities, invented insults and mismangulated obscenities and curses made famous by a certain Tom K. (last name omitted)

"Oh, you MOTHER!"
"You FUCKNOB!"
(insert name) "...has an I.Q. of a peanut butter sandwich"
"sons-of-bastages"
"Cancel Christmas forever"
"butt buddy bubba with the burlap balls"
"rump ridin' ridge runner"

by Frank Klaune November 6, 2003

SuperSlap

A difficult maneuver in which one person repeatedly slaps the face of another in a furiously rapid pace. Usually done so quickly that the hand is almost a blur.

"Frank just superslapped the dumbass who insulted him."

by Frank Klaune November 6, 2003