frank klaune's definitions

finger wave

Term describing the anal prostate check portion of the annual physical examination done on older men. The "finger wave" is done by the gloved hand of the examining physician. One only hopes that while the "finger wave" is being done you don't feel both of the doctor's hands on your shoulders at the same time or you're in trouble.

Old man Klaune went to the doctor and got a finger wave.

by Frank Klaune March 6, 2004

super glued

Yet another term designating a very high level of inebriation (drunkenness).

Damn, Frank drank the rest of that fifth of Jim Beam. By the end of the afternoon, he was super glued!

by Frank Klaune April 23, 2005

quim and tonic

Humorous mismangulation of "gin and tonic". The term indicates a high degree of drunkenness followed by sex with a woman. It seems to specifically imply a man who is highly drunk performing oral sex on a woman. The tonic may, or may not be drank while performing the oral sex.

Damn, I wondered where Frank went at the party, so I walked out to the porch. He was so damn drunk out there with some chick on the porch swing. She was moaning out loud as he was getting some quim and tonic.

by Frank Klaune April 16, 2005

lipstick on your dipstick

Does this really need an explanation? It seems to be used primarily when lecherous drunks are sitting at a bar and a hot bitch walks in.

(Drunks talking in a bar as the hot bitch walks in)...

"Damn, Frank. Check out what just came in the door! Man.... How'd you like to get her lipstick on your dipstick?"

by Frank Klaune January 27, 2005

in the tank

Broken, hopeless, ruined. Synonyms: screwed up or fucked up.

Damn! Frank was going to have a big outdoor barbecue this weekend but when the forecast called for rain, he knew his plans were in the tank.

Frank started his car, depressed the accelerator to the floor and shifted back and forth between "R" and "D". Now his transmission is in the tank.

by Frank Klaune April 29, 2005

Bees

A joint (or spliff) or two of marijuana.

Chris has bees, and bees make you buzz. He's down at the quarry doing bees.

by Frank Klaune January 21, 2005

beer factor

A simple attempt to measure and quantify the amount of alcohol needed in order for you (or your friend) to willingly copulate with any given female. A fun game to play in a pub, the standard of measurement is one draw (draft) of an average strength American beer. While a reasonably attractive female may rate a 5-6 beer factor, a more homely specimen may require a 12 or 15 beer factor. On the other hand, a very attractive female may not warrant the need for any beer at all, resulting in the prized "ZBF" or "Zero Beer Factor".

Frank was scoping over some fat broad playing pool in the back room. She looked like a dyke to me. She was so fugly that she was probably a 24 beer factor.

by Frank Klaune January 23, 2005