fraghappy's definitions

masturbate

1) SYNONYMS: chokin' the chicken, spanking the monkey, flogging the dolphin, beating off, jackin' off, buffing the banana, wanking off, playing with yourself, tootin' your horn, fighting the purple helmet warrior, rubbing the one-eyed snake, commiting spermicide, taking your turn at the self-serve station, fishing with your zipper trout, beating the shit out of your midget friend, makin' mayo, polishing the family jewels, test-firing the old meat missle, wrapping the hand around the penis and moving it in a thrusting movement. (v.) The act of sexually pleasing yourself to orgasm. For males this involves using the hands to massage the penis in a thrusting motion, while for females this involves rubbing and stimulation of the vaginal and clittoral areas. This is often accompanied by some sort of sexually pleasing visual and/or mental stimulation.

2) (n.) Something a true Catholic cannot do because the wrath of the imaginary friend will come down upon them. See wordgod/word.

I was so horny I bought a Playboy and masturbated.

by fraghappy November 6, 2003

Gomlich Effect

The law of physics that states that if one teenage girl is screaming for something, other nearby teenage girls will begin screaming for it, and the mass of screaming girls will grow exponentially until every teenage girl within a four-mile radius is screaming.

Backstreet Boys are the worst band ever, and their success was based only on the Gomlich Effect

by fraghappy December 1, 2004

Christian science

1) (n.) An oxymoron or paradox.

2) (n.) A subject studied by a people who don't believe in the subject.

That Christian science reminds me of the software title "Microsoft Works."

by fraghappy November 6, 2003