figleaf23's definitions

Where's Osama

a game the Bush administration pretended to play for maybe 3 seconds after the 9/11 attacks

Bush: "So, (smirk) where's Osama?"

Cheney: "Yeah (snicker), where's Osama?"

Rummy: "Is he (chortle) under your chair Mr. President?"

Bush: "I think he's (smirk) under you hair-piece, Don."

All: "~Laughter~".

by Figleaf23 January 2, 2009

shakey shakey

a completely non-violent erotic art performed by placing a wet palm or fingers firmly on the clitoral area and giggling the hand as quickly as possible.

Dude, when I gave Karen the shakey shakey last night she was more than willing to swallow my man meat.

by Figleaf23 August 8, 2007

erotic arts

plural of erotic art, qv.

Professor Sex says: The shakey shakey, Rite of Shiva, rusty trombone, throat job, flanjitsu, and cunt grab are all examples of the erotic arts.

by Figleaf23 November 26, 2009

beating a dead horse

an act of sexual perversion combining bestiality, necrophilia and sado-mashocism.

A government study was funded to study various sexual perversions: sado-masochism, necrophilia and bestiality. The study was soon halted however ... the researchers decided they were just beating a dead horse.

by Figleaf23 January 4, 2009

inverted heart syndrome

a condition that can occur when a person who is bent over, or in any awkward position, sneezes, coughs, hiccups, and belches all at the same time, causing the heart to flip over inside the chest cavity.

The condition is extremely painful, but if the victim survives the initial shock, they can recover as the elasticity of the major arteries is usually sufficient to slowly pull the heart back into proper position.

Do NOT move the victim.

Desmond was weak and shaky for days after he had that spell of inverted heart syndrome.

by Figleaf23 November 26, 2009

'roid monster

Short for steriod monster. Someone whose overuse of steroids renders them notably different from the human norm in some respect(s). Typical characteristics include: huge gnarled muscles, bad temper, irritability, leathery skin, grotesqueness of features, puffy, constipated, pain when urinating.

The 'roid monster snarled at all who approached as he stood wimpering at the urinal.

by Figleaf23 August 15, 2007

intellimancy

The process of divination using the medium of cogitation.

Cartomancy uses cards to tell the future, bibliomancy uses a book (often the Bible), geomancy uses earth and stones. Intellimancy is the same, except your mind is your oracle.

For an example of the process of intellimancy see the definition of honkey.

by Figleaf23 August 14, 2011