fearman's definitions

Elephant Man

1. Stage name of Joseph Carey Merrick (1862-90), a man afflicted with two diseases, neurofibromatosis I and Proteus Syndrome, which made his body puff out into a series of tumours that deformed his face, head and one side of his lower body. (Often incorrectly thought to have had elephantiasis). Lived as a circus freak for some time before attracting the attention of British higher society. Died in a tragic attempt to sleep flat on his back at the age of 27; his massive head dislocated his neck. The subject of a biopic in 1980, directed by David Lynch.

2. Any social pariah, anyone seen as monstrous.

The Elephant Man's skeleton has been removed from public view.

After the incident with Hannah's microwave oven, she sees me as an Elephant Man.

by Fearman February 10, 2008

communism

An ideology based essentially on the idea expounded by Karl Marx, that in an ideal society everyone would receive what they needed and would produce according to their capacity. From this idea was elaborated a doctrine whereby a Socialist state would be established that would in time subsume the economic structure of society into itself. At this point the State itself would wither and the new ideal Communist society would emerge. It's surely a beautiful idea on paper, and may even work with small tribal bands ... but just try to apply it to a society made of millions of us naked apes and see what happens.

Marx incidentally suggested that agrarian societies would be more likely to develop in time along such lines; the adoption of Communist doctrine by industrial societies like Leninist-Stalinist Russia may arguably be in itself a perversion of Marx's idea.

Capitalism is the exploitation of man by man. Communism is the exact reverse. - John Gardner

Any man who is not a Communist at the age of twenty is a fool. Any man who is still a Communist at the age of thirty is an even bigger fool. - George Bernard Shaw.

Communism: right idea, wrong species. - Jermaine Evans

The Catholic and the Communist are alike in assuming that an opponent cannot be both intelligent and sincere. - George Orwell.

A Communist is like a crocodile - when it opens its mouth you cannot tell whether it is trying to smile or preparing to eat you up. - Winston Churchill

by Fearman December 21, 2007

kitchen sink

Used in expressions to describe work in which all conceivable (and some inconceivable) sources have been mined; such figures of speech might include "everything except the kitchen sink", "everything and the kitchen sink", and so on. Used in an in-joke in Star Wars III: Revenge of the Sith, in which one of the objects spinning into one of the cruisers in the opening Battle of Coruscant is, according to George Lucas, a (CG)kitchen sink.

In his dissertation, he really did use everything including the kitchen sink.

by Fearman September 10, 2007

Ireland

Twentieth largest island on the planet. West of Great Britain. Home to Brendan Behan, U2 and the original Guinness brewery. Used to get most of the rain in Europe, now thankfully changing due to global warming, proving that it is an ill wind and all that. Exports include the above rock group, an above average slice (for the island's population) of the world's greatest writers, the above dark beverage with a creamy head on, oodles of women with unwanted pregnancies, a few deliveries of Semtex, milk, beef, and formerly, streams of missionaries. Currently is the grip of a "tiger economy" which doesn't seem so feline if you leave out the wobbly property market. Wouldn't be such a bad place if it wasn't for Limerick and a couple of places in the Six Counties.

Ireland. Last chance to make a will before the Atlantic.

by Fearman December 26, 2007

so many puppies, so little time

Expression of repressed rage and anger at the world. Taken as a lament that with so many puppies (vulnerable shitheads/valuable commodities/etc) in the vicinity, one does not have the time or freedom to exercise one's creative vigour in destroying the whole goddamned lot of them.

Twenty CVs sent out, nineteen Dear John letters, one ignored. No money. So many puppies, so little time.

by Fearman January 7, 2008

Westboro baptist church

A significant proportion of the population (not many, but enough people) spend their school days whipping other kids, sneering in their faces, tearing up their copybooks, beating up anyone they can while still looking righteous and popular and generally doing everything they can to crush the spirit out of anyone they can get away with so treating. Fortunately, most of them have the grace to leave this childhood unpleasantness behind in due course, and become people of fairness, maturity and integrity who are man or woman enough to, at the very least, apologise to their former victims. And mean it.

And then, alas, there are a pathetic few like the Phelps clan.

Various forms of behaviour unworthy of the most intelligent species on the planet are exemplified, to take two examples, by schoolyard bullies, and by the Westboro Baptist Church.

by Fearman August 6, 2007

Moreauville

A hick town (US) or boghole (Ireland) so rednecked, inbred, stupid and antsy that you'd swear someone had engineered the locals from cattle. From H.G. Wells' Island of Doctor Moreau, where the title character makes hominid creatures from other species. Irish versions also known as Ballymoreau.

He grew up in Moreauville, Kansas, but got out in the nick of time.

by Fearman March 4, 2008