sloe gin

Alcoholic beverage made by flavouring gin with the juices of sloes, the fruit of the blackthorn bush. The berries are picked traditionally in October to November, although global warming is edging this back into September. The best stuff is a deep shadowy red and tastes like a mixture of woodsmoke, sugar, fire, and something more sublime again. If you want the genuine article, make it yourself.

Good homemade sloe gin is the nectar of the gods.

by Fearman January 06, 2008

Chthulhu

Vast entity seeking to re-enter the stream of terrestrial time-space, as revealed in the visionary works of H. P. Lovecraft. Gibbous, vast, eldritch, gibbering, and infinitely rebulbulous in his extra-terrestrial physics and non-Euclidean geometry. His feelers extend to all the best dinner parties where the unsuspecting taste him in the wine, rip off their clothes and expose the darkest secrets of their splenetic nightmares. The best friend of necrotic occultists everywhere. His friends all call him "Percy". Will sign copies of the Necronomicon for free, with heart-felt dedications ... if you dare look him in his extra-cosmic face.

Chthulhu ... the master of ectopic time.

by Fearman August 31, 2007

catpiss

Nonsense, balderdash. Tiresome old pseudo-argument regurgitated ad nauseam.

She was giving me the same old catpiss about how she couldn't get to work on time because she'd never expected the traffic to be so heavy.

by Fearman November 11, 2007

Humpty Dumpty word

Word used to mean whatever the speaker wants it to mean at the time, usually without further elucidation. From the character of Humpty Dumpty in Through the Looking Glass by Lewis Carroll (Charles Lutwidge Dodgson).

'When I use a word,' Humpty Dumpty said, in a rather scornful tone,' it means just what I choose it to mean, neither more nor less.' ...
- Through the Looking Glass

Here come the right-wingers to this referendum. Expect to hear a lot about natural laws, family values and other Humpty Dumpty words.

by Fearman December 23, 2007

Drowns Syndrome

Urban myth that blames drowning incidents on swimmers entering the water too soon after a meal; supposedly you get cramps and go kerplunk to the bottom. Used by lazy parents who want to get some decent shut-eye after a picnic. Some adults go on actually believing it too. In fact, cramps can affect you at any time and not particularly after a meal; if they hit you in the water they will not adversely affect your buoyancy nor even do too much damage to your swimming skills. If you are in water where, perhaps due to currents, this affliction would likely make the difference between life and death, you shouldn't be there, cramps or no cramps.

Just ask yourself; what do you think the odds would be if you went up to a coroner or pathologist and asked them if they had ever filed a cause of someone's death as "swimming on a full stomach?" No, I didn't think so.

Jimmy was screaming and running along the water's edge and his mum was too fat and lazy to watch out for her kids like she ought to, so she invoked Drowns Syndrome.

by Fearman December 15, 2008

spherical asshole

A complete asshole. An utter waste of chromosomes. Spherical because a complete asshole has no redeeming features whatsoever and is still an asshole no matter which way you look at him/her, just as a sphere presents the same circular outline no matter which direction it is viewed from.

He may have been a junkie for ten years and trashed all his friends, but even when he's gone cold turkey don't expect him to say sorry. He's a spherical asshole.

by Fearman November 11, 2007

take the biscuit

To be the epitome of something, typically something unpleasant. To stand as the best (or more likely worst) example of a series of things.

Of all the slimy schemes Jim's pulled over the years, his attempt to pay a psychologist to testify in court that Marie, whom Jim had actually repeatedly raped the previous year, was merely paranoid, just has to take the biscuit.

by Fearman February 22, 2008