douglas young's definitions

barbecue

The first thing a cashier will guess if you're buying hot dogs and buns, when really you're just a fucking bachelor.

Cashier: Having a barbecue?
Bachelor: ...no.

by Douglas Young October 27, 2007

faux vibe

When you thought your cell phone vibrated in your pocket but it didn't, and what's worse-- it's not even in that pocket.

Dude I think I need to go to the doctor, I've been getting faux vibes all day.

by Douglas Young December 4, 2007

reverse-vasectomy

When a man changes his mind about firing blanks and is willing to have a(nother) kid, then spends the rest of his life making sure the $9,000 was worth it.

My Dad: Well, I'll tell you why I don't want you getting stoned all the time... son, do you know what a reverse-vasectomy is?

by Douglas Young October 6, 2007

vanning

Taking a long ride in a van.

Janitor: Do you like vanning?
Molly Clock: I don't know what that is.
Janitor: Sort of like taking a long drive in a car... except in a van.
Molly Clock: ...still not getting it

by Douglas Young November 13, 2007

swords

Don't fuckin' touch swords!

Swords'll cut your fuckin' hands off!

by Douglas Young October 7, 2007

midnight express

The trains that return to the depot at the end of the night without making any stops to pick up passengers.

I thought there weren't any trains left at this hour, but we're in luck-- here comes one now! Oh fuck it's just the midnight express, god dammit!

by Douglas Young January 26, 2008