5 definitions by dictionaryenchantress

A person who does not believe in the absolute purity or strict adherence to any particular doctrine, philosophy, or set of laws or rules. A person who believes that there are exceptions to almost every rule and that even differing philosophies can be combined to produce the best possible results.
Person A: Don't you believe in capitalism?
Person B: Not without at least some regulation.
Person A: Then, you're not a true capitalist.
Person B: I prefer to think of myself as an anti-purist.
by dictionaryenchantress June 04, 2019
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Someone who decides how much he/she wants to use violence and tear apart government and society solely based on the consequences that come to them personally when others react to their actions, particularly in relation to the insurrectionists who stormed the US Capitol building on January 6, 2021, openly bragged about their participation and pride in their actions in online forums and social media, and then declared that they "regret" their actions after being arrested. It could apply to anyone who wants to cause chaos and tear apart or upend society for any reason but declares a sudden complete reversal upon realizing that others are not in favor of it and that there will be personal consequences for them. The implication is that the consequences and disapproval of others are the main/only reason for their stated regret or the reversal of their position. Related words: Schrodinger's asshole, Schrodinger's idiot
Newscaster: The man, one of many who stormed the Capitol building during the riots on January 6th, has been fired from his job and, if convicted, faces at least ten years in prison. His wife has declined to comment and has stated that she is filing for divorce. The man will be pleading "not guilty" and says that he "regrets" his actions that day. He insists that he did not actually enter the building itself, although he did post a video on Facebook last week of himself standing under the rotunda, screaming, "I have no regrets!" (shows video)
Viewer: Wow. Talk about Schrodinger's insurrectionist!
by dictionaryenchantress February 09, 2021
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A combination of bragging and giving advice or using the giving of advice as a thinly-veiling excuse to brag.
Grandson - I just got laid off of my main job! I'm working two other part-time jobs in addition to that one, but they barely cover the rent. I don't know how I'm going to keep my car running and pay for my health insurance and my student loans! I've been spreading my resume around, but I'm not getting any call backs! What should I do?
Grandfather - Well, I'll tell you what I did when I was your age. First, I didn't have any student loans. I worked for my Uncle Fred while I was going through school, and that was mostly in the summer. Then, I got a good job right out of college and worked at that company for my entire career and retired with a good pension and benefits. Now, your grandmother and I can travel the world and don't have any worries. Life will be great when you're older! Young people today need more initiative.
Grandson: That's no help! I already told you that I've been spreading my resume around. Uncle Fred's been dead for years, and I don't have any relatives who could give me a job, not even you! I'm worried about surviving now, and no company that I know of even offers pensions anymore, no matter what job I get! Look, I'm glad that things are great for you, but you're not helping me. This isn't advice, this is bragvice!
by dictionaryenchantress May 13, 2019
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The way a bully looks around at people around him/her after making a mean joke to make sure that other people are sharing in the "humor." The bully is always laughing or grinning while doing the bully look-around so he/she can both get a buzz from sharing a laugh with someone else against the target of the bullying and to clue others in that the mean joke was supposed to be funny and that they should also laugh. If no one else shares in the "humor", and the bully receives criticism instead of shared laughter, the bully quickly takes the feedback and immediately begins to play the part of the "Schrodinger's asshole", pretending that the mean joke wasn't really that mean and that it was more of a joke than it really was and they didn't really mean it and that everyone else is taking it all too seriously and being meaner to the bully than he/she was to the original target of his/her meanness.
Katie: Oh, my gawd, Marissa! You just spilled that glass of water, and it looks like you've wet yourself! (Does the bully look-around while giggling obnoxiously, checking that others are appreciating her "joke")
Gina: Cut it out, Katie. It's not that funny. Geez.
Katie: (becoming a Schrodinger's Asshole) You people don't know how to take a joke. How come you have to jump on every little thing I say? Geez, yourself!
Marissa: Can someone hand me a towel?
by dictionaryenchantress June 26, 2020
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When someone attempts to say something mean or insulting in a cute way so they can pass off their meanness as an attempt at humor or generally make their meanness seem less obvious or more acceptable to bystanders.
Erin: You sure like telling other people how to live their lives, Karen, oops I mean, Candace! (giggles obnoxiously at her intentional "mistake" and looks around to make sure others are sharing in her "joke")
Candace: For the tenth time, we're in the middle of a global pandemic, and management requires that all shoppers wear masks. If you don't want to do that, just take your cutesy-mean act to another store. There are other customers in line, here!
by dictionaryenchantress May 30, 2020
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