Definitions by chris ord

wrist manual 

A gentlemens interest magazine containing pictures of "Ladies who never say no" also features on classic cars and premium rate phone lines.

whilst walking the dog , I discovered a fantastic stash of dicarded wrist manuals , who says flytipping is all bad.

wrist manual by Chris Ord August 31, 2006

teddy bears arm 

A large lump of excrement,possibly left in the pot overnight,giving it a furry appearence around the edges

i went to perform my morning ablutions and imagine my surprise when i discovered someone had left ateddy bears arm in my toilet.

teddy bears arm by Chris Ord August 31, 2006

hingers 

Womens tits,refers mainly to the large English pendular variety,rather than the smaller pert European type.

Your Mother has a massive pair of Hingers

hingers by chris ord August 31, 2006

lay some cable 

To produce solid waste,often used to amuse workmates,or as an excuse when you are going for a number 3.

Out the way lads,Im going to strech my hoop and lay some cable

lay some cable by chris ord August 31, 2006

knocking shop mattress 

An effect of male pattern baldness,whereby the unfortunate male decides not to do the decent thing ie get the clippers out and grows the floundering folicles hoping to conceal the onset of nature by creative combing,suceeding only in an elaborate , threadbare shaping with a shiney(often sunburnt)beacon of scalp shining through for all to see.Resembling the aformentioned sex workers overused mattress.See Robin Gibb,Footballer Kenny Cunningham etc

See that Alan Shearer on Match of the Day,he's got a head like a knocking shop mattress,though his muscular pressence up front,will be sorely missed by Newcastle this season.

knocking shop mattress by chris ord August 31, 2006