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carl j. maltese's definitions

Jack

Symbolic, alagorical name of that which is evil, bad, or wrong in certain novels, such as "Lord of the Flies."
"In 'Lord of the Flies' by William Golding, the character that represented evil was named 'Jack.' The character that represented good was named 'Roger,' and the character that represented order & rationality was named 'Piggy.'"
by Carl J. Maltese April 15, 2007
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space marine

Technically, the troopers in "Starship Troopers" were known as 'The Mobile Infantry,' storm troopers, shock troops, marines, and army special forces all rolled into one.

The military personal featured in "Aliens" and "Space: Above and Beyond" were 'space marines.'

'Space Marines' were also featured in the Japanimation show "Space Battleship Yamato/Star Blazers." In the original Japanese show they were called 'The Space Calvary."

In the James Bond movie "Moonraker," Drax's space station is attacked by U.S. Astronaut Marines--different beast entirely.
"The Space Marines will make their stand here on Broomus! Victory or death!"
by Carl J. Maltese April 16, 2007
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United Provinces of America

From the movie "Deathrace: 2000"
Comprising all of North America and several overseas possesions and ruled by a 'Big Brother' type leader known as 'Mr. President.' The only political party in the UPA is known as the 'Bipartisan Party,' and order is maintained by a purple tuxedoed Secret Police.
The flag of the UPA consists of 13 gold and red stripes and small field of white in the upper left hand corner sporting a large gold open hand, as if ordering "halt!" surrounded by two gold lightening bolts.
The dulled and jaded popullace of the UPA gets it's only enjoyment from the annual Cross Country Road Race, aka The Deathrace, in which the various racers score points by running down pedestrians.
"I, your beloved Mr. President, have made the United Provinces of America the greates power on earth!"
by Carl J. Maltese April 18, 2007
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commercial comfort

Ancient CB* term from the late 1970's meaning "prostitute in area." Experienced prostitutes would travel three-or-four to a car equiped with a CB radio and/or police scanner and cruise truck stops at night. During the height of the CB craze in America, some truckers would stay-up all night on their CB's talking and jabbering in their strange CB codes. The prostitutes would cut-in on the conversations announcing "commercial comfort" had arrived. This would then be followed by hand signals or flashed headlights indicating who their next "customer" was.

The term "commercial comfort" was last heard on the dying CB airwaves as late as 1998, just prior to affordable cell' 'phone plans and the Internet took over.

(*Citizens Band radio)
"Breaker-breaker, this here is Cinderella offering commercial comfort back by the gas trucks. Come back on that?"
by Carl J. Maltese April 20, 2007
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PTL

1) "Praise The Lord!"

2) "People That Love"

3) "Pass The Loot"

4) "Pay The Lady"
Bob : "The PTL club, founded by Jim and Tammy Baker, was brought to ruin by a combined conspiricy involving Jessica Hahn, Howard Stern, Berkley Brethard, Jerry Falwell, Oral Roberts, Jimmy Swaggart, Pat Robertson, the Liberal/Leftist Media, Ronald Reagan, Fawn Hall-and/or-Donna Rice, Playboy and Penthouse, National Lampoon Magazine, and Satan Himself!"

Eric: "Dude, you're f**king wacked!"
by Carl J. Maltese April 20, 2007
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toasterphobia

Toasterphobia is the dreaded fear of sticking a fork into a toaster even after it's been unplugged....because sometimes the toaster remembers!
Mike: "Because of my severe toasterphobia, I have continuous nightmares about being chased by a giant toaster and a giant fork wearing running shoes!"

Art: "Dude, you're f**king wacked!!"
by Carl J. Maltese April 21, 2007
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blow job

"I could really go for a blow job right about now."
by Carl J. Maltese April 21, 2007
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