carl j. maltese's definitions
Toasterphobia is the dreaded fear of sticking a fork into a toaster even after it's been unplugged....because sometimes the toaster remembers!
Mike: "Because of my severe toasterphobia, I have continuous nightmares about being chased by a giant toaster and a giant fork wearing running shoes!"
Art: "Dude, you're f**king wacked!!"
Art: "Dude, you're f**king wacked!!"
by Carl J. Maltese April 21, 2007
Get the toasterphobia mug.He: "Damn! I should have polished the wood instead of knocking you up!"
She: "You were. But you forgot I was there!"
She: "You were. But you forgot I was there!"
by Carl J. Maltese November 9, 2007
Get the should have polished the wood mug.See: Wannabe's.
See also: Over-privledged high school boys; Overzealous subscriber to "Soldier of Fortune" magazine; Weekend paintballer with too much free time.
See also: Over-privledged high school boys; Overzealous subscriber to "Soldier of Fortune" magazine; Weekend paintballer with too much free time.
"Tony joind the Civil Air Patrol because he was too old for the Boy Scouts and too young for the Air Force. What a lame-ass wannabe!"
by Carl J. Maltese May 20, 2007
Get the Civil Air Patrol mug.This is the imfamous urban myth about the cheerleader who: Gets on the bus with the winning football team, performs oral sex on every guy...swallows...more than once in some cases...and then becomes violently ill and has to be rushed to the hospital to have her stomach pumped!
Alternate versions of the story have said incident occuring in the locker room, at someones house and/or victory party after the game. The sport in particular also varies. Some times it's the basketball team, the lacross team, the soccer team, etc. Also, the girl in question also various. Some times it's the campus slut, sometimes it's even a hot female teacher or someone's MILF mom!
Another variation on this urban myth is that the girl in question has straight 'intercourse with the entire team, gets her genitals ripped-open, and has to be rushed to the hospital to have her ravaged vagina sewn-up/sewn shut!
Alternate versions of the story have said incident occuring in the locker room, at someones house and/or victory party after the game. The sport in particular also varies. Some times it's the basketball team, the lacross team, the soccer team, etc. Also, the girl in question also various. Some times it's the campus slut, sometimes it's even a hot female teacher or someone's MILF mom!
Another variation on this urban myth is that the girl in question has straight 'intercourse with the entire team, gets her genitals ripped-open, and has to be rushed to the hospital to have her ravaged vagina sewn-up/sewn shut!
"In the urban myth known as the Cheerleader story, the girl performed so much hot oral sex on the football team during their bus-ride home she had to have her stomach pumped! Guess she swallowed a little too much!"
by Carl J. Maltese March 27, 2007
Get the Cheerleader story mug.Human Resources Person: "So, what sort of experience do have for this job?"
Trendoid Preppyuppie Throwback: "Well, I went to my senior prom in a stretch limo that cost my father...."
Human Resources Person: "Uh, that's not what I asked you. Do you or do you not have experience? Hmmmm?"
Trendoid Preppyuppie Throwback: "Well, uh....my father's rich and I dated a cheerleader and....did I mention I went to the prom?"
Human Resources Person: "NEXT!!"
Trendoid Preppyuppie Throwback: "Well, I went to my senior prom in a stretch limo that cost my father...."
Human Resources Person: "Uh, that's not what I asked you. Do you or do you not have experience? Hmmmm?"
Trendoid Preppyuppie Throwback: "Well, uh....my father's rich and I dated a cheerleader and....did I mention I went to the prom?"
Human Resources Person: "NEXT!!"
by Carl J. Maltese May 26, 2007
Get the prom mug."I fail to see why all those stupid girls would waste such an incredible amount of money on dresses that can only be worn once. I mean, the guys wear rented tuxedoes. Why can't the girls get rental dresses?"
by Carl J. Maltese June 16, 2007
Get the dresses that can only be worn once mug.From the movie "Deathrace: 2000"
Comprising all of North America and several overseas possesions and ruled by a 'Big Brother' type leader known as 'Mr. President.' The only political party in the UPA is known as the 'Bipartisan Party,' and order is maintained by a purple tuxedoed Secret Police.
The flag of the UPA consists of 13 gold and red stripes and small field of white in the upper left hand corner sporting a large gold open hand, as if ordering "halt!" surrounded by two gold lightening bolts.
The dulled and jaded popullace of the UPA gets it's only enjoyment from the annual Cross Country Road Race, aka The Deathrace, in which the various racers score points by running down pedestrians.
Comprising all of North America and several overseas possesions and ruled by a 'Big Brother' type leader known as 'Mr. President.' The only political party in the UPA is known as the 'Bipartisan Party,' and order is maintained by a purple tuxedoed Secret Police.
The flag of the UPA consists of 13 gold and red stripes and small field of white in the upper left hand corner sporting a large gold open hand, as if ordering "halt!" surrounded by two gold lightening bolts.
The dulled and jaded popullace of the UPA gets it's only enjoyment from the annual Cross Country Road Race, aka The Deathrace, in which the various racers score points by running down pedestrians.
"I, your beloved Mr. President, have made the United Provinces of America the greates power on earth!"
by Carl J. Maltese April 18, 2007
Get the United Provinces of America mug.