carl j. maltese's definitions

Civil Air Patrol

See: Wannabe's.
See also: Over-privledged high school boys; Overzealous subscriber to "Soldier of Fortune" magazine; Weekend paintballer with too much free time.

"Tony joind the Civil Air Patrol because he was too old for the Boy Scouts and too young for the Air Force. What a lame-ass wannabe!"

by Carl J. Maltese May 20, 2007

should have polished the wood

What you should have done...instead of getting her pregnant!

He: "Damn! I should have polished the wood instead of knocking you up!"

She: "You were. But you forgot I was there!"

by Carl J. Maltese November 9, 2007

World War III

Websters Dictionary once defined 'World War III' as: "A hypothetical war of the future involving nuclear and/or biological weapons and resulting in the near or total destruction of mankind."

There are also many, many books, novels, short stories, scenarios, pamphlets, tracts, magazines, comic books, movies, and television shows dealing with this subject.

The One True Comment on World War III:
"I don't know what weapons will be used in the Third World War, but the Fourth will see the survivors...armed with clubs!"--Albert Einstein

by Carl J. Maltese July 17, 2007

prom

Something Your future employers are not going to ask you about or care about.

Human Resources Person: "So, what sort of experience do have for this job?"

Trendoid Preppyuppie Throwback: "Well, I went to my senior prom in a stretch limo that cost my father...."

Human Resources Person: "Uh, that's not what I asked you. Do you or do you not have experience? Hmmmm?"

Trendoid Preppyuppie Throwback: "Well, uh....my father's rich and I dated a cheerleader and....did I mention I went to the prom?"

Human Resources Person: "NEXT!!"

by Carl J. Maltese May 26, 2007

dresses that can only be worn once

Those expensive prom dresses you just had to have.

"I fail to see why all those stupid girls would waste such an incredible amount of money on dresses that can only be worn once. I mean, the guys wear rented tuxedoes. Why can't the girls get rental dresses?"

by Carl J. Maltese June 16, 2007

tea dumping psychos

One of the many colourful slang terms that the British have for Americans.

"The damn tea dumping psychos! Five-thousand-pounds worth of tea thrown right off the bloody ships! The bloody crates are all completley soaked through, making the tea totally unfit for drinking. Even for Americans."

by Carl J. Maltese April 1, 2007

pat robertson

The televangelist who, on national telvision, will peel-off his human mask and reveal to the world that he is the Antichrist!

"How do I know Pat Robertson is the Antichrist?
Jerry Falwell told me so!"

by Carl J. Maltese June 10, 2007