Skip to main content

carl j. maltese's definitions

United Provinces of America

From the movie "Deathrace: 2000"
Comprising all of North America and several overseas possesions and ruled by a 'Big Brother' type leader known as 'Mr. President.' The only political party in the UPA is known as the 'Bipartisan Party,' and order is maintained by a purple tuxedoed Secret Police.
The flag of the UPA consists of 13 gold and red stripes and small field of white in the upper left hand corner sporting a large gold open hand, as if ordering "halt!" surrounded by two gold lightening bolts.
The dulled and jaded popullace of the UPA gets it's only enjoyment from the annual Cross Country Road Race, aka The Deathrace, in which the various racers score points by running down pedestrians.
"I, your beloved Mr. President, have made the United Provinces of America the greates power on earth!"
by Carl J. Maltese April 18, 2007
mugGet the United Provinces of America mug.

UCSA

United Christian States of America.

What the Religious Right would like to see our country become.

Some very good descriptions of America becoming a theocratic tyranny can be found in "The Armageddon Crazy" by Mick Farren and "Revolt in 2100" by Robert A. Heinlein
"I could see the tattered stars-and-stripes with a large gold cross occupying the very center of it. This was the flag of the UCSA: the United Christian States of America.
God help us."
by Carl J. Maltese May 31, 2007
mugGet the UCSA mug.

Bill Frist

This millennia's Perpetual Poster Boy for birth control, incest, congenital mental impairment, miscegnation, sexual debauchery, beastaltiy and animal cruelty.
Also: He is the Incredible Christ Appointed Doctor who was able to determine that Terri Schiavo was responding to visual stimuli simply by watching a video of her for a whole hour! When Miss Shiavo finally did pass-away, her autopsy revealed there was no way she could have been responding to visual stimuli. She was blind.
Be sure to read Bill Frist's self-published genealogy "Assholes beget assholes"...uh, I mean "Good people beget good people."
by Carl J. Maltese December 6, 2007
mugGet the Bill Frist mug.

SHADO

Supreme Headquarters Alien Defense Organization.

Supreme Headquarters Allied Defense Organization.

Fictional secret organization from the British sc-fi TV show "UFO." Said organization was established in the far-flung, futuristic year of 1980 and waged a covert war with maurauding "unhuman" aliens who were kidnapping humans for their own sinister purposes.
"Once you join SHADO, you can never leave!"
by Carl J. Maltese April 12, 2007
mugGet the SHADO mug.

PTL

1) "Praise The Lord!"

2) "People That Love"

3) "Pass The Loot"

4) "Pay The Lady"
Bob : "The PTL club, founded by Jim and Tammy Baker, was brought to ruin by a combined conspiricy involving Jessica Hahn, Howard Stern, Berkley Brethard, Jerry Falwell, Oral Roberts, Jimmy Swaggart, Pat Robertson, the Liberal/Leftist Media, Ronald Reagan, Fawn Hall-and/or-Donna Rice, Playboy and Penthouse, National Lampoon Magazine, and Satan Himself!"

Eric: "Dude, you're f**king wacked!"
by Carl J. Maltese April 20, 2007
mugGet the PTL mug.

Betz

"I dare to shout 'Betz!' the spoken name of the Ultimate Evil! I dare not ever utter It's Unspeakable Name, It's Unspoken Name, It's True Name!!"
by Carl J. Maltese April 15, 2007
mugGet the Betz mug.

should have polished the wood

What you should have done...instead of getting her pregnant!
He: "Damn! I should have polished the wood instead of knocking you up!"

She: "You were. But you forgot I was there!"
by Carl J. Maltese November 9, 2007
mugGet the should have polished the wood mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email