carl j. maltese's definitions

Scurv

1970's term for who are now referred to as burnouts and dirtbags.

"You know that new kid around the corner? The one with the hippie parents? He's a real cigarette smoking Scurv!"

by Carl J. Maltese April 15, 2007

tea dumping psychos

One of the many colourful slang terms that the British have for Americans.

"The damn tea dumping psychos! Five-thousand-pounds worth of tea thrown right off the bloody ships! The bloody crates are all completley soaked through, making the tea totally unfit for drinking. Even for Americans."

by Carl J. Maltese April 1, 2007

Hanes grazer

Derogatory term for a homosexual male. First used by Howard Stern.

"Are you just another turd tapping Hanes grazer!?"

by Carl J. Maltese April 13, 2007

Cheerleader story

This is the imfamous urban myth about the cheerleader who: Gets on the bus with the winning football team, performs oral sex on every guy...swallows...more than once in some cases...and then becomes violently ill and has to be rushed to the hospital to have her stomach pumped!

Alternate versions of the story have said incident occuring in the locker room, at someones house and/or victory party after the game. The sport in particular also varies. Some times it's the basketball team, the lacross team, the soccer team, etc. Also, the girl in question also various. Some times it's the campus slut, sometimes it's even a hot female teacher or someone's MILF mom!

Another variation on this urban myth is that the girl in question has straight 'intercourse with the entire team, gets her genitals ripped-open, and has to be rushed to the hospital to have her ravaged vagina sewn-up/sewn shut!

"In the urban myth known as the Cheerleader story, the girl performed so much hot oral sex on the football team during their bus-ride home she had to have her stomach pumped! Guess she swallowed a little too much!"

by Carl J. Maltese March 27, 2007

Eastasia

One of the three world superstates as described in George Orwell's "1984." Eastasia consists of China, Mongolia, India, parts of the middle-east not occupied by Eurasia, Indochina, Malaysia, New Guinea, Korea, all the Japanese islands, and all the remaining pacific islands not occupied by Oceania. A description of their flag is unknown.
All three superstates have the exact same styles of government, with the same ideologies, but with different names. Oceania calls it "Ingsoc" (English Socialism in newspeak), Eurasia calls it "Neo-Bolshevism," and the Eastasian term translates as "death-of-the-self."
Ostensibly, the three superstates are waging continuous war for the contol of Central Africa, Madagasgar, the middle-east, Indochina, and the north and south polar ice caps.

See also: Oceania, Eurasia, 1984, and George Orwell.

"We are at war with Eastasia. We've always been at war with Eastasia."

by Carl J. Maltese April 24, 2007

chrome covered cuntmobile

1) Any chromed, flashy, tricked-out, or pretentious looking car designed soley for attracting shallow minded women.

2) Any chromed, flashy, tricked-out, or pretentious looking car driven by a pimp.

Tim: "Check-out Danny In is chrome covered cuntmobile!"

John: "Think He'll pick-up chicks in that thing?"

Tim: "Hell! You already know he's a pimp with ten years experience!"

by Carl J. Maltese May 17, 2007

Hannah Montana

Just another damned clone produced by Bell Labs under contract to Disney. When she is all-used-up, they'll produce more to unleash on the public.

"Hannah Montana. Proof you can come from nowhere and bring it with you. Also, few adults know or even care that her last name is spelled with only two "n's", not three."

by Carl J. Maltese February 16, 2008