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carl j. maltese's definitions

should have polished the wood

What you should have done...instead of getting her pregnant!
He: "Damn! I should have polished the wood instead of knocking you up!"

She: "You were. But you forgot I was there!"
by Carl J. Maltese November 9, 2007
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Civil Air Patrol

See: Wannabe's.
See also: Over-privledged high school boys; Overzealous subscriber to "Soldier of Fortune" magazine; Weekend paintballer with too much free time.
"Tony joind the Civil Air Patrol because he was too old for the Boy Scouts and too young for the Air Force. What a lame-ass wannabe!"
by Carl J. Maltese May 20, 2007
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Eurasia

One of the three world superstates as described in George Orwell's "1984." Eurasia consists of all of continental Europe, all of the Russias, North Africa, and some parts of the middle-east. Eurasia's flag is a green banner featuring a black coloured clenched fist and the word "Eurasia" spelled-out in english across the top.
The three superstates all have the exact same styles of government, with their populations kept in a state of controled ignorance. Also, all three superstates are continuousley at war with each other, alliances changing on a monthly basis, with two superstates ganging-up a third.

See also: Oceania, Eastasia, 1984, and George Orwell.
"We are at war with Eurasia. We've always been at war with Eurasia."
by Carl J. Maltese April 24, 2007
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hilary duff

Just another damn clone produced by Bell Labs under contract to Disney.
When she is all-used-up, Disney will just order some new ones to unleash on the public.
Hilary Duff: living proof that you can be beautiful, untalented and stupid.... AND still be rich.
by Carl J. Maltese May 29, 2007
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United Provinces of America

From the movie "Deathrace: 2000"
Comprising all of North America and several overseas possesions and ruled by a 'Big Brother' type leader known as 'Mr. President.' The only political party in the UPA is known as the 'Bipartisan Party,' and order is maintained by a purple tuxedoed Secret Police.
The flag of the UPA consists of 13 gold and red stripes and small field of white in the upper left hand corner sporting a large gold open hand, as if ordering "halt!" surrounded by two gold lightening bolts.
The dulled and jaded popullace of the UPA gets it's only enjoyment from the annual Cross Country Road Race, aka The Deathrace, in which the various racers score points by running down pedestrians.
"I, your beloved Mr. President, have made the United Provinces of America the greates power on earth!"
by Carl J. Maltese April 18, 2007
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pat robertson

The televangelist who, on national telvision, will peel-off his human mask and reveal to the world that he is the Antichrist!
"How do I know Pat Robertson is the Antichrist?
Jerry Falwell told me so!"
by Carl J. Maltese June 10, 2007
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tea dumping psychos

One of the many colourful slang terms that the British have for Americans.
"The damn tea dumping psychos! Five-thousand-pounds worth of tea thrown right off the bloody ships! The bloody crates are all completley soaked through, making the tea totally unfit for drinking. Even for Americans."
by Carl J. Maltese April 1, 2007
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