carl j. maltese's definitions

SHIELD

Supreme Headquarters International Law-enforcement Division.

Fictional super-spy organization from Marvel Comics' "Nick Fury, Agent of SHIELD"

This "organization" also provided a thread of continuity within nearly all of Marvel Comics' titles from the mid-1960's until the early 1990's.

"Just as it looked like the end for Captain America, a helicopter full of SHIELD agents showed up in the nick of time!"

by Carl J. Maltese April 12, 2007

the joy of meaningless studies

What you experience in junior college, community college, and/or beauty school.

"After twelve+ years of elementary-junior-senior-high-school and an exciting job in the lucrative field of fast food preperation, I just can't wait to experience the joy of meaningless studies in junior college!"

by Carl J. Maltese July 16, 2007

should have polished the wood

What you should have done...instead of getting her pregnant!

He: "Damn! I should have polished the wood instead of knocking you up!"

She: "You were. But you forgot I was there!"

by Carl J. Maltese November 9, 2007

World War III

Websters Dictionary once defined 'World War III' as: "A hypothetical war of the future involving nuclear and/or biological weapons and resulting in the near or total destruction of mankind."

There are also many, many books, novels, short stories, scenarios, pamphlets, tracts, magazines, comic books, movies, and television shows dealing with this subject.

The One True Comment on World War III:
"I don't know what weapons will be used in the Third World War, but the Fourth will see the survivors...armed with clubs!"--Albert Einstein

by Carl J. Maltese July 17, 2007

prom

Something Your future employers are not going to ask you about or care about.

Human Resources Person: "So, what sort of experience do have for this job?"

Trendoid Preppyuppie Throwback: "Well, I went to my senior prom in a stretch limo that cost my father...."

Human Resources Person: "Uh, that's not what I asked you. Do you or do you not have experience? Hmmmm?"

Trendoid Preppyuppie Throwback: "Well, uh....my father's rich and I dated a cheerleader and....did I mention I went to the prom?"

Human Resources Person: "NEXT!!"

by Carl J. Maltese May 26, 2007

pat robertson

The televangelist who, on national telvision, will peel-off his human mask and reveal to the world that he is the Antichrist!

"How do I know Pat Robertson is the Antichrist?
Jerry Falwell told me so!"

by Carl J. Maltese June 10, 2007

Scurv

1970's term for who are now referred to as burnouts and dirtbags.

"You know that new kid around the corner? The one with the hippie parents? He's a real cigarette smoking Scurv!"

by Carl J. Maltese April 15, 2007