raining like a double-cunted cow pissing on a flat rock

An archaic "hick" term for heavy rain or snow fall.

"Sheeeeeet! It sure is cumin' down out there! Raining like a double-cunted cow pissing on a flat rock!"

by Carl J. Maltese April 28, 2007

Bill Frist

This millennia's Perpetual Poster Boy for birth control, incest, congenital mental impairment, miscegnation, sexual debauchery, beastaltiy and animal cruelty.
Also: He is the Incredible Christ Appointed Doctor who was able to determine that Terri Schiavo was responding to visual stimuli simply by watching a video of her for a whole hour! When Miss Shiavo finally did pass-away, her autopsy revealed there was no way she could have been responding to visual stimuli. She was blind.

Be sure to read Bill Frist's self-published genealogy "Assholes beget assholes"...uh, I mean "Good people beget good people."

by Carl J. Maltese December 06, 2007

PTL

1) "Praise The Lord!"

2) "People That Love"

3) "Pass The Loot"

4) "Pay The Lady"

Bob : "The PTL club, founded by Jim and Tammy Baker, was brought to ruin by a combined conspiricy involving Jessica Hahn, Howard Stern, Berkley Brethard, Jerry Falwell, Oral Roberts, Jimmy Swaggart, Pat Robertson, the Liberal/Leftist Media, Ronald Reagan, Fawn Hall-and/or-Donna Rice, Playboy and Penthouse, National Lampoon Magazine, and Satan Himself!"

Eric: "Dude, you're f**king wacked!"

by Carl J. Maltese April 20, 2007

SHADO

Supreme Headquarters Alien Defense Organization.

Supreme Headquarters Allied Defense Organization.

Fictional secret organization from the British sc-fi TV show "UFO." Said organization was established in the far-flung, futuristic year of 1980 and waged a covert war with maurauding "unhuman" aliens who were kidnapping humans for their own sinister purposes.

"Once you join SHADO, you can never leave!"

by Carl J. Maltese April 12, 2007

dictionary

>...:"What do you think you are looking at right now! What are you, some kind of smart-ass? Now log-off, get back to work and quit fooling around!!":...<

"In one of Mr. Webster's early editions of his dictionary, he defined "freedom" as: '...deviation from the norm!'"

by Carl J. Maltese April 30, 2007

Creationism

Creationism explained:
God + Adam + Eve -times- Cane -minus- Abel + Seth -divided by- Lilith -times- Eve's sister-in-law -divided by- dinosaurs -times- 42 -times- E=mc2 -divided by- Infinity + H2O -times- Monosodiumglutinate -minus- The Monolith + hot air + the sound of a honking horn + The Secret Ingredient -minus- your opposable thumb = ALL THAT IS AND EVER SHALL BE! AMEN!

I hope that clears things up for you.

According to the Religious Right, "evolution" was just Darwin trying to explain his wife to his friends and the idea caught on! "Creationism" is, of course, the ONE TRUE and ONLY explanation for human existance. Anybody who says otherwise should have their opposable thumbs chopped off!

by Carl J. Maltese October 17, 2007

Jack

Symbolic, alagorical name of that which is evil, bad, or wrong in certain novels, such as "Lord of the Flies."

"In 'Lord of the Flies' by William Golding, the character that represented evil was named 'Jack.' The character that represented good was named 'Roger,' and the character that represented order & rationality was named 'Piggy.'"

by Carl J. Maltese April 15, 2007