Sarah Palin

The surprisingly attractive and fairly successful female governor of Alaska. She belongs to the Republican party. Unlike the party of all these "tolerant" liberals who are demonizing her on this website for being Christian and considering fiscal responsibility, and energy independence a priority.

Liberal 1: I belong to the party of acceptance that respects all people for who they are and what they believe. But Sarah Palin is a stupid cunt of a whore who has the mind of a Neanderthal because she embraces Christian values and enjoys the outdoors and hunting.

Liberal 2: Yeah, tell me about it. Those Republicans are nothing but evil, rich, white Nazi bastards who just want to murder gays and starve our children. I'm so thankful that I belong to the Party of Tolerance that never participates in prejudice or bigotry.

by captmurk December 03, 2013

Mini Van Rage

A person, usually male, who drives a mini van with anger and recklessness. It is a reflection of a person's aggravation with what their life has become. These people likely hate the fact that they had way more kids than they intended, and the pressure of accommodating these high maintenance brats, in combination with having to drive such an embarrassing vehicle, has reached a boiling point. They can be commonly spotted doing 90mph on the freeway swerving in and out of lanes cursing to themselves.

Bystander 1: Wow, did you see that guy?!?! He almost killed two pedestrians and a dog while blowing that stop sign.

Bystander 2: Yeah, classic mini van rage. He's probably late to a parent/teacher meeting.

by captmurk November 13, 2013

Urban Dic Voter

The d-bags who only approve words that either validate their political beliefs, or words that are so well known and bland they serve no purpose on this website what-so-ever. Words like Easter Bunny, Movie Theater, I fucking love you, Year, etc. Furthermore, they decline words that are too awesome for their fucktard minds to grasp. Words like, Goose Cheese - the female equivalent of duck butter. If YOU are that type of voter, shame on you.

Knowing my luck, I'll probably draw an Urban Dic Voter... and this awesome definition will vanish into the abyss.

by captmurk June 21, 2015

Altarbaiting

When a woman goes out of her way to please her man while dating, only to abandon these things entirely once married.

Friend 1: "Dude, I think I'm in love with this girl. She deepthroats, cooks for me every night, and cleaned my entire apartment this weekend."
Friend 2: "Sounds like a classic case of altarbaiting to me. Careful, bro.

by captmurk November 21, 2013

Ballzheimers

The outrageous and perverted sense of courage old men acquire upon realize how little they have to lose. Those diagnosed with ballzheimers can be commonly spotted groping young women in line at stores, or shouting out absurd rants at strangers.

Old guy shouts across the geriatric ward: "Hey, Betty! Bring that fine ass over here and twerk it for me girl!"
Nurse: "Look, Harvey, your ballzheimers is getting way out of hand. Just sit back, be quiet, and finish your Tapioca."

by captmurk December 26, 2013

Wishlist Giving

Giving a gift to someone that is really a gift to yourself.

Wife: Merry Christmas, honey. Here you go.
Husband: Thanks, babe. I wonder what it could....WTF? A heated toilet seat?!?!
Wife: I know right! Hurry up and install it!
Husband: That's just great. Wishlist giving twat.

by captmurk December 09, 2013

Ghouly Wand

When you stick your finger in your butthole and fish hook someone.

There are two types of people in the world: those who give wet willies, and those who give ghouly wands.

by captmurk May 25, 2018