cactuscat's definitions

knobstand

Knob is commonly used in Britain to mean penis, so the implication of knobstand is that someone is useless, that he serves no purpose other than to support his own genitals. Not in general use but sometimes heard said by teenagers in South Manchester. A few years ago I saw it in an Australian music fanzine, but I would assume this was written by someone with connections to Northern England.

Can't you do anything right? You knobstand!

by cactuscat September 14, 2006

aristocrat

A member of the ruling class; a very posh person.
Aristocrats are very easy to identify - the men look like inbred halfwits and the women look like horses.
Hated by everyone, even only slightly less posh people.

Charles is an aristocrat, as is Camay or Camisole or whatever her name is. Soon we will all be their subjects.

by cactuscat September 15, 2006

binge drinking

Formerly known as getting drunk/hammered/bladdered/legless etc etc. The media's precise reason for their re-branding of this age-old practice remains unclear.

Newspaper headline: Binge drinking on the increase in under 30s.

by cactuscat September 15, 2006

marvin medium

The white gluey stuff you used to use in 'arts and crafts' at primary school. No good for sniffing, very good for sticking bog roll tubes onto washing-up liquid bottles (remember to empty them first and get your mum's permission, not your dad's, it has to be your mum's). Probably not still available, like free milk at breaktime and golden nuggets.

teacher: let's make a spaceship by sticking all this rubbish together with marvin medium.
pupil: let's humour the silly cow.
other pupils: like we have a choice.

by cactuscat September 17, 2006

cabbage

Implausibly large sprout. Quite scary.

That cabbage is looking at me, please make it stop.

by cactuscat September 16, 2006

chav

Immigrant to the United Kingdom from Chavonia. Due to the usual socio-political factors that determine one's class/employment/housing/education etc etc, Chavs tend to be at the lowest level in these areas and are therefore victimised in the media and by those who need someone to look down on. Interestingly, to cover up the obvious bigotry of Chav-hating the country of Chavonia has been removed from the world map and people now pretend that it doesn't exist and that the Chav is merely a British person who affects the demeanour of someone born into an underclass, and could therefore speak like a middle-class person, get a job in graphic-design and join the local golf club, should he or she so desire. The commonly held belief that Chavs are naturally violent is something of a misconception - it's true that they sometimes give goffs/moshers/emos and other fashion victims a bit of a kicking but usually they perform this service quite reluctantly for up to ten or fifteen pounds.

He's a chav you say? That tells me very little about him, but quite a lot about you.

by cactuscat September 18, 2008

biddy

In the UK a biddy (or, more commonly, an old biddy) is a person (particularly a woman) of around 55 or above.

Some old biddy got her purse stolen.

Don't go to the Red Lion, it's full of old biddies.

by cactuscat September 15, 2006