rugby

Really stupid sport played using a ball that isn't even ball shaped. There are two kinds of it but few people know or care what the difference is. Invented when a thick schoolboy picked up the ball and ran with it during a game of football. Because he was posh he didn't get his head kicked in, instead he was congratulated for inventing a new sport, which was named after the school he attended. I can honestly say I have never spoken to a single person with any interest in rugby.

If you think football is boring to watch, you should see rugby. Or, rather, you shouldn't.

by cactuscat September 15, 2006

knobstand

Knob is commonly used in Britain to mean penis, so the implication of knobstand is that someone is useless, that he serves no purpose other than to support his own genitals. Not in general use but sometimes heard said by teenagers in South Manchester. A few years ago I saw it in an Australian music fanzine, but I would assume this was written by someone with connections to Northern England.

Can't you do anything right? You knobstand!

by cactuscat September 14, 2006

biddy

In the UK a biddy (or, more commonly, an old biddy) is a person (particularly a woman) of around 55 or above.

Some old biddy got her purse stolen.

Don't go to the Red Lion, it's full of old biddies.

by cactuscat September 15, 2006

rockism

Rockism is essentially a prejudiced attitude to any form of popular music that doesn't conform to the values of rock music (in the most narrow and conventional sense of the term.) The most obvious example of this is the tendency of middle-aged fans of 'classic rock' to describe any music that involves the overt use of electronic instruments as not 'real music'.

Do you really think Jethro Tull are better than Kraftwerk, or is it just rockism?

by cactuscat September 15, 2006

aristocrat

A member of the ruling class; a very posh person.
Aristocrats are very easy to identify - the men look like inbred halfwits and the women look like horses.
Hated by everyone, even only slightly less posh people.

Charles is an aristocrat, as is Camay or Camisole or whatever her name is. Soon we will all be their subjects.

by cactuscat September 15, 2006

Pete Townshend-style research

Viewing any kind of sexually stimulating material (not necessarily illegal or even explicit) on the internet. In common use in northern England, and possibly elsewhere, this expression originates from pop musician Pete Townshend's explanation of why he gave his credit card details to a website containing visual depictions of children being sexually abused - that he wished to view the material for research purposes. Although the implication of the term is that Townshend was lying he was, in fact, cleared of all charges.

Sorry I didn't answer the phone, I was doing some Pete Townshend-style research.

by cactuscat September 14, 2006

bills

Boxer shorts, y-fronts or briefs. Rhyming slang: Bill Grundies = undies. Used specifically for male lower underwear, never female lingerie. Bill Grundy was a famous British television presenter, mostly on news-magazine programmes.

I need some new bills, these are full of holes.

by cactuscat September 15, 2006