cactuscat's definitions

rugby

Really stupid sport played using a ball that isn't even ball shaped. There are two kinds of it but few people know or care what the difference is. Invented when a thick schoolboy picked up the ball and ran with it during a game of football. Because he was posh he didn't get his head kicked in, instead he was congratulated for inventing a new sport, which was named after the school he attended. I can honestly say I have never spoken to a single person with any interest in rugby.

If you think football is boring to watch, you should see rugby. Or, rather, you shouldn't.

by cactuscat September 15, 2006

biddy

In the UK a biddy (or, more commonly, an old biddy) is a person (particularly a woman) of around 55 or above.

Some old biddy got her purse stolen.

Don't go to the Red Lion, it's full of old biddies.

by cactuscat September 15, 2006

rockism

Rockism is essentially a prejudiced attitude to any form of popular music that doesn't conform to the values of rock music (in the most narrow and conventional sense of the term.) The most obvious example of this is the tendency of middle-aged fans of 'classic rock' to describe any music that involves the overt use of electronic instruments as not 'real music'.

Do you really think Jethro Tull are better than Kraftwerk, or is it just rockism?

by cactuscat September 15, 2006

marvin medium

The white gluey stuff you used to use in 'arts and crafts' at primary school. No good for sniffing, very good for sticking bog roll tubes onto washing-up liquid bottles (remember to empty them first and get your mum's permission, not your dad's, it has to be your mum's). Probably not still available, like free milk at breaktime and golden nuggets.

teacher: let's make a spaceship by sticking all this rubbish together with marvin medium.
pupil: let's humour the silly cow.
other pupils: like we have a choice.

by cactuscat September 17, 2006

binge drinking

Formerly known as getting drunk/hammered/bladdered/legless etc etc. The media's precise reason for their re-branding of this age-old practice remains unclear.

Newspaper headline: Binge drinking on the increase in under 30s.

by cactuscat September 15, 2006

aristocrat

A member of the ruling class; a very posh person.
Aristocrats are very easy to identify - the men look like inbred halfwits and the women look like horses.
Hated by everyone, even only slightly less posh people.

Charles is an aristocrat, as is Camay or Camisole or whatever her name is. Soon we will all be their subjects.

by cactuscat September 15, 2006

cabbage

Implausibly large sprout. Quite scary.

That cabbage is looking at me, please make it stop.

by cactuscat September 16, 2006