The largest member of the slug family, a slimy purple beast weighing over 4 pounds. This species is believed to have a world population of one, the individual in question residing in the mouth of a fat black moron known as Nogtard. It is force-fed a diet of Sargent's apple pies, Hill's ginger biscuits and Smart Price vanilla ice cream.
You can keep your tarantulas, pythons and grizzlies. The most fearsome, disgusting creature in the world is Nogtard's Tongue.
by by kenny spoffo-grumpbeetle August 01, 2009
A retard who cleans the bogs at Asda. These mentally-unfortunate individuals can often be seen fishing out unflushable Hill biscuits with a net and eating them for lunch.
What's David doing?
Fishing out the Snuf biscuits for lunch. Can't get enough of those lovely bourbons. Typical Asda bog cleaner!
Fishing out the Snuf biscuits for lunch. Can't get enough of those lovely bourbons. Typical Asda bog cleaner!
by by Kenny Spoffo-Grumpbeetle May 16, 2009
The highest level of ugliness. A truly unbelievable degree of repulsiveness usually only achieved by little fat security guards.
by by kenny spoffo-grumpbeetle July 29, 2009
The slowest walking speed possible. Only fat old security guards with short stumpy legs can achieve this incredibly slow rate of movement. Given a headwind and a hangover the Pork Scotch walk can compete with continental drift for lack of swiftness.
Is that fat guy sleeping on his feet?
No he's on his way to work. He's so old and flabby he can't go any faster than a Pork Scotch walk.
No he's on his way to work. He's so old and flabby he can't go any faster than a Pork Scotch walk.
by by kenny spoffo-grumpbeetle August 16, 2009
The name assumed by a fat security guard who thinks that sitting in the gatehouse of a pie factory makes him the most important man in the world. He spends most of his working day reading his newspaper and demanding to see the ID of the only people of lower grade than him - the toilet cleaners.
Stop! Who goes there?
None of your fat business. Who the hell are you?
I am the Scotch, the Big Bad Scotch.
Correction. You're a fat ugly nobody with little legs and a gay moustache.
None of your fat business. Who the hell are you?
I am the Scotch, the Big Bad Scotch.
Correction. You're a fat ugly nobody with little legs and a gay moustache.
by by Kenny Spoffo-Grumpbeetle August 18, 2009
A version of Bruce Springsteen's song "Born to Run" sung by Pork Scotch, the world's ugliest dickhead. First sung as a drunken karaoke performance and later recorded at Goofy Granny's expense. The record sold precisely 2 copies.
I've made a record therefore I'm young and cool.
But what the hell does the song mean?
It means I was born to Scotch. Scotch means to be cool. I was born to be cool.
OK Dickwad, you need to look up "Scotching" on Urban Dictionary.
But what the hell does the song mean?
It means I was born to Scotch. Scotch means to be cool. I was born to be cool.
OK Dickwad, you need to look up "Scotching" on Urban Dictionary.
by by Kenny Spoffo-Grumpbeetle August 20, 2009