taintular cystosis

(n.) a condition in which one has developed a cyst on one's taint. Eventually, it will surface and drain, usually oozing copious quantities of thick pus. Trust me, this hurts.
Phil: How's the taintular cystosis treating you, Bob?

Bob: I got that fucker drained, dude. The relief...it was better than sex! And what came out of it...looked like a half cup of mashed potatos!

Phil: Dude....gross.
by blenderhead91 April 25, 2010
Get the taintular cystosis mug.

Sneak peek at Jesus

To have a near-death experience.
Neil: "Wow, Vince, we all thought you were a goner. I never saw somebody survive being sexually molested by a polar bear!"

Vince: "Dude, I got a sneak peek at Jesus."
by Blenderhead91 March 31, 2009
Get the Sneak peek at Jesus mug.

E.L.D.

(n.) Abbreviation for "Explosive Liquid Diarrhea," a very unpleasant gastro-intestinal condition, indeed.
"Mom, I gotta stay home from school today. I have E.L.D. and didn't quite make it to the can in time."
by Blenderhead91 March 31, 2009
Get the E.L.D. mug.