The legendary drivers of Maltby lorries who display Pork Scotch's cone in the back in order to taunt important security guards and provide amusement to everyone else. Otherwise known as comic geniuses.
Flobule: Look Dad, the cone's still there! Why don't they take it out?
Dad: Because they're heroes, son. Maltby heroes.
Dad: Because they're heroes, son. Maltby heroes.
by Benny Twadge May 18, 2009
What's the name of that Jamaican wrestler with the mop on his head?
That's Kofi Kingston and he's no Jamaican. He's from Ghana, which is only about 5,000 miles from Jamaica.
That's Kofi Kingston and he's no Jamaican. He's from Ghana, which is only about 5,000 miles from Jamaica.
by Benny Twadge May 04, 2009
Alternative name for the Pork Scotch Van or half-car after a huge frozen dump was put on the roof of it. The crap thawed out overnight and was nicely baking in the sun the next day before the Scotchers emerged for their daily jaunt to buy barbecue food. Scotchy didn't spot it at first so he drove round with a turd just a few inches from his fat bald koala head.
Bloody hell what's that I can smell?
That'll be Scotchy's Shit-Wagon. He still hasn't persuaded Goofy Granny to clean it off.
Filthy old bastard.
That'll be Scotchy's Shit-Wagon. He still hasn't persuaded Goofy Granny to clean it off.
Filthy old bastard.
by Benny Twadge August 22, 2009
A 7-foot tall cretin with giant, flapping tabs. A mentally retarded twat that can eat 3 fried pigs for breakfast and is therefore detested by its grandfather's wife, who takes the piss out of its ridiculous crash-helmet hairstyle.
Why is there nothing in the fridge, Trace?
We've had a visit from Bullivant. It was hungry after its 3-pig breakfast.
We've had a visit from Bullivant. It was hungry after its 3-pig breakfast.
by Benny Twadge May 03, 2009
Fried chicken and rice and pea. These food items are never paid for, always stolen, because as everyone knows "chimp no need pay mon".
Chimp in takeaway: me wan' fried chicken and rice and pea mon.
Assistant: One portion of Chimp Food? That will be £4.50 please.
Chimp (before running away): chimp no need pay mon.
Assistant: One portion of Chimp Food? That will be £4.50 please.
Chimp (before running away): chimp no need pay mon.
by Benny Twadge May 18, 2009
Name given to someone with a head which is exactly the same shape as a koala's head. Usually only fat bald security guards can achieve this interspecific resemblance. The effect can be heightened if the koala-headed person has his hair cut in the Pork Scotch style.
Why has someone brought a koala to the braaivleis?
They haven't. What you're looking at is the Porky Scotcher. The ugly bastard has a koala head.
They haven't. What you're looking at is the Porky Scotcher. The ugly bastard has a koala head.
by Benny Twadge August 02, 2009
Abbreviation of "nignog retard". A spasticated black shit with diarrhoea-juice for brains. Walks around with its gob wide open for catching flies. Only speaks when stating the bloody obvious, for example when it sees someone struggling with 15 Asda carrier bags and asks them "Have you been shopping?".
Have you seen that gormless black shit with its gob wide open?
Yeah, that's the Patrick Road Nogtard. It fell out of its tree and the rest of the chimps won't let it back up.
Yeah, that's the Patrick Road Nogtard. It fell out of its tree and the rest of the chimps won't let it back up.
by Benny Twadge May 03, 2009