A filthy article that has never been washed but which Pork Scotch uses to dry dishes. Normal people don't go near it apart from when they use it to kill spiders or to wipe up gunk from the kitchen floor.
Flondibulus: Bog roll's finished, is there any more?
Mickus: No, use a Pork Scotch tea towel. It couldn't get any filthier so the fat twat will never know.
Mickus: No, use a Pork Scotch tea towel. It couldn't get any filthier so the fat twat will never know.
by Benny Twadge May 19, 2009
A variety of chimp which has mastered the rudiments of speech. These creatures inhabit urban areas, attracted to cities by burger bars such as McDonald's. They can be trained to drive motor vehicles, which they frequently steal. Also known as nignogs.
My car's been nicked!
Must've been a talking chimp. There are thousands around here. Blame McDonald's.
Must've been a talking chimp. There are thousands around here. Blame McDonald's.
by Benny Twadge April 27, 2009
Name given to someone with a head which is exactly the same shape as a koala's head. Usually only fat bald security guards can achieve this interspecific resemblance. The effect can be heightened if the koala-headed person has his hair cut in the Pork Scotch style.
Why has someone brought a koala to the braaivleis?
They haven't. What you're looking at is the Porky Scotcher. The ugly bastard has a koala head.
They haven't. What you're looking at is the Porky Scotcher. The ugly bastard has a koala head.
by Benny Twadge August 02, 2009
Abbreviation of "nignog retard". A spasticated black shit with diarrhoea-juice for brains. Walks around with its gob wide open for catching flies. Only speaks when stating the bloody obvious, for example when it sees someone struggling with 15 Asda carrier bags and asks them "Have you been shopping?".
Have you seen that gormless black shit with its gob wide open?
Yeah, that's the Patrick Road Nogtard. It fell out of its tree and the rest of the chimps won't let it back up.
Yeah, that's the Patrick Road Nogtard. It fell out of its tree and the rest of the chimps won't let it back up.
by Benny Twadge May 03, 2009
A retarded, thick-lipped checkout assistant who stares at the ceiling while serving you and grunts instead of speaking.
Dad: Shall we go to Asda then?
Monkus: Only if we can go to David's till.
Dad: David the Grunting Spacker?
Monkus: Yeah. The fat spaz makes me piss.
Monkus: Only if we can go to David's till.
Dad: David the Grunting Spacker?
Monkus: Yeah. The fat spaz makes me piss.
by Benny Twadge June 19, 2009
Look at that fat old twat with an iPod.
You're talking stupid. That fat twat is Pork Scotch.
Ah! So its a Pork Pod!
You're talking stupid. That fat twat is Pork Scotch.
Ah! So its a Pork Pod!
by Benny Twadge August 16, 2009
A monster in almost-human form that dates clinically-obese security guards. Also known as Girlfriend of the Porky Scotcher, this vile creature is so horrifically ugly that those who look at it have been known to retch with such violence they vomit their livers out onto the ugly bitch's shoes.
Oh shit, its The Thing!
What?! You don't mean The Thing With Teeth Halfway Down Its Neck?
Yes! Nogtard vomited his liver on the bitch's shoes last week.
I know. The Porky Scotcher picked up the liver and barbecued it.
What?! You don't mean The Thing With Teeth Halfway Down Its Neck?
Yes! Nogtard vomited his liver on the bitch's shoes last week.
I know. The Porky Scotcher picked up the liver and barbecued it.
by Benny Twadge May 24, 2009