84 definitions by ben dover

Well, lets start with the obvious shall we, a townie is from the TOWN. they have rules to which they must adhere at all times to avoid being 'fuckin' batad' by their 'cru'. contrary to popular belief, townies to do not favour buying cheap, tacky fake jewellery or 'bling' at argos, as this would be far to expensive. instead they head to the local market where they use their natural townie or chav instincts to search out and obtain the biggest knuckle duster they can find. Whilst 'daan da markit' they may also spy a rather fetching 'trackie' possibly of neon colouring and fake branding (ie. nuke, adidat etc) they will purchase this outfit and wear it, trousers being tucked into their socks. Those amongst them who dare to be different (heaven forbid) may wear, along with said tracksuit bottoms, a jacket embroidered with the words 'boston', 'babe' etc. The females of this species (origins are uncertain, although scientists are doing research) will wear their hair scraped back on their heads. It is also very likely they will have used the contents of Boots’ stock room of hairspray so not one lump or bump is visible. The males will not have this problem as they have no hair, simply a shaved head and a cap placed carefully at 90 degrees to their empty heads. (they must also have a black eye so as to gain the respec of their ‘posse’) Finally, if you are unable to spot a townie, hang around a group of mopeds and soon enough, their owners (being townies) will saunter bak, wankered on cheap cider but pretending (cuz they’re hard) that they’re sober. They will spot you and start walking over (the distinctive ‘i’ve got a shit trying to escape from my back passage’ walk) claiming they’re gonna ‘fuckin batta ya’ if you don’t move away from they’re “expensive transportation”. This is your clue to laugh and then floor them if they piss you off a bit. Or if you’re just a bit bored.
example = any loser who can't understand words with more than one syllable.
by ben dover September 29, 2004
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when u get kneed, kicked, punched, wacked, etc... in the nutts
jason got nut checked by tessa 4 being gay by liking slumpers slumper
by ben dover October 03, 2004
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a device used by a donnachie to provide sexual pleasure to his watt
oh mike, i dont want to appear soft in front of you, can i shove my truncheon up your arse?
by ben dover July 04, 2004
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1. One who lies, such as Republicans.

2. AKA Politicians.

3. Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly, Anne Coulter.
Who isn't a liar? I keep trying to think of someone.
by Ben Dover April 22, 2005
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A Humm and a Buff is a blow job.
She gave me a Hum and a Buff with a screamer and swallowed the evidence.
by Ben Dover October 20, 2004
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To bend an object or defensless person with your mind
johnny psychoflexed the the golf clubs
by Ben Dover October 10, 2004
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To sneak into some person's garage and steal any and everything alcoholic, usually out of a refridgerator.
I need a drink, let's go fridgerape the Sphincter's house.
by Ben Dover March 19, 2004
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