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argonak's definitions

The Pear

noun:

A tool utilized in Medieval Europe to punish those who commit sodomy, heracy, etc.

This pearshaped tool with spikes is inserted into one of said victim's orfices and via a screw is cranked open, causing severe internal mutilation.
At first the pear can be pleasureful...but not for long.
by Argonak April 12, 2008
mugGet the The Pearmug.

putrifier

noun:

1. Something or someone which is often responsible for making other things putrid. Often the putrifier is putrid itself.

2. Something disgusting, rotting, nasty, or otherwise offensive to the senses.

3. Something so unexpectedly grotesque (often a picture or item of some sort) as to conjure up feelings of utter disgust or repultion. This picture or item can actually cause the victim to smell or feel said item vividly enough to cause the release of vomit from said victim's mouth.

4. An item or depiction of item that is mangled so much that it is difficult to tell what it is.
#1:

Rodion (to Travis): "Here...look at this picture I have here..."

Travis (upon laying his eyes on the vile image displayed on his paper): "OH GOD!!! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT PUTRIFIER?!?!"

Travis shortly empties his stomach all over the putrifier...thus making it even more putrid.

#2:

Zach: "Dude...Ray smells so foul..."

Tyler: "Yeah...what a putrifier."

Ray enters the room; everyone vomits.
by Argonak April 11, 2008
mugGet the putrifiermug.

guitar tie

A tie...made with a guitar.

You take a guitar and smash it on top of someone's head. The neck of the guitar will make a tie.

Warning: If done with an electric guitar, death or hospitalization are very likely outcomes.
A guitar tie can be quite humorous...

but is breaking a guitar really worth it?
by Argonak October 16, 2008
mugGet the guitar tiemug.

piss battle

A piss battle can be one of several types of piss oriented competition.

1. The contestants simply see who pisses farther...or pisses more. AKA a pissing contest.

2. The two contenders attach their urinary tracts via some form of tube with the use of a waterproofing substance and a glue of some sort. The two people proceed to drink a defined amount of a liquid (say one gallon per person or something of the sort)...then the waiting begins.

The two people then begin to piss. As the urge to urinate increases an epic piss battle begins to ensue. The golden liquid will then be pushed between the two people until eventually one of the combatant's bladders bursts. (More liquid may be ingested by combatants if a stalemate ensues or if not enough liquid is present for a bladder bursting...or surrender.)

History: Piss battles have been an effective way of testing the manhood of males for centuries. Since the prowess in battle is directly linked to the genitals of the combatant, the winner is said to be more sexually potent then the loser.
Piss battles rarely end with death as it takes a surprising amount of pressure to burst the bladder. The ones that DO end in death are particularly heinous. The victim will endure crippling pain and if untreated immediately setpic shock.

Piss battles are known to cause cancer in the state of California.
by Argonak April 13, 2008
mugGet the piss battlemug.

shit battle

History:
A direct derivative of piss battle. This type of battle was created when two piss battle combatants had a draw...that is, both bladders were burst. Neither contestant wanted to cease the battle so they decided to join their rectums in order to have a battle of the anal muscles.

1. The combatants join their anal cavities together and after forming an leaktight seal begin to push the defecate between eachother. These battles are often ended once one of the combatants has emptied their body of all defecate. At this moment the combatant may disconnect their anus from their opponent and claim victory.
Shit battles are epic.

Shit battles do not cause cancer.
by Argonak April 13, 2008
mugGet the shit battlemug.

grand chili dog

When the man slathers his veiny gopher in chili before participating in any form of sex (concentual or not).

Often utilized as an effective way to get a blowjob from a hungry obese person.
"Mrs.Folkman gave me a mean grand chili dog...the only problem was that I used spicy chili so my meat was burning for a whole week."
by Argonak April 15, 2008
mugGet the grand chili dogmug.

raging cock

1. A penis that is so erect,veiny, and powerful looking, that it can be said that it is "raging" or very angry.

2. An angry rooster (male chicken.)
After taking a double dose of viagra, the man was admited into the hospital with a case of raging cock.
by Argonak August 14, 2008
mugGet the raging cockmug.

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