4 definition by antipatches3030

Top Definition
1. a parasitic acquaintance who brings nothing to the table, often overstaying their welcome and acting unnecessarily possessive and/or jealous.
2. friend who mingles poorly with other circles of your friends, often embarassing you or causing awkward situations
3. supposedly straight same-sex friend who would obviously like to fuck your brains out, causing really uncomfortable, homoerotic moments
Kevin attracts carpies like shit attracts flies.
by antipatches3030 January 08, 2004

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Perfect summer cocktail:
2 parts pabst blue ribbon
1 part cutty sark whiskey
2 parts margarita mix
squeeze of lemon
sprinkle of ground cinnamon
Damn barkeep, now THIS is a fine cuttyrita!
by antipatches3030 January 09, 2004

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Girl who looks good from a distance, enough to cause you to loudly proclaim admiration, only to reveal upon closer inspection to possess a busted grill.
I thought I wanted to poon Mary, but on closer inspection she has a busted grill and was merely a total fake-me-out.
by antipatches3030 January 12, 2004

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1. to search fruitlessly for an illusive trouser snake with one's hand
1. Carla sniggled for hours, but was unable to find Sam's junk.
by antipatches3030 January 08, 2004

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